Self Esteem

10 Ways to Build Your Confidence

  1. Stand in front of the mirror every morning and find one thing that you like about yourself. Stand there until you find one and say to yourself 3 times: I love my ...(nose, hair etc). Do this every morning finding a different part of your body that you like! It sounds silly but it works!!!
  2. Go on a shopping spree. Find an outfit which REALLY suits your looks, shape, and goes nicely with your eyes. If it matches your eyes...it will look best on you! Boys go for something that makes your body more toned!
  3. If you are afraid that your image is getting too old or boring go for a totally new look! Get a new haircut and a new outfit and transform yourself into a person you love yourself!
  4. Organize a fun day out with your friends. This will cheer you up since friends are always there if you need a laugh!!!
  5. Write down the things you DON'T like about yourself on a piece of paper, then burn it or tear it up whilst saying (with feel) I LOVE ME. THERE IS NOTHING THAT I DO NOT LIKE. say it until you feel reassured!
  6. Tidy your room!  Its a true fact (and it really works!) that if u tidy your room u feel better about yourself! a messy room sends out bad vibes which your body picks up making you feel bad about yourself!!!
  7. Don't blame yourself if people are being mean to you...tell someone who you trust or ignore them!!!
  8. Get each of your friends (or family members) to write down on a piece of paper 3 reasons why they like you, then read them to yourself! you'll soon cheer up to know you are loved!
  9. If you have acne or a brace or feel a bit too fat...then you are like me! Acne can be sorted...see a special skin doctor. Don't suffer in silence! I know how awful these things are! If you have a brace that upsets you...just remember that when they comes off you will have nicer teeth than everyone else and it will be worth it!!! and if you feel a bit fat chances are...YOU ARE NOT! I was researching for English class and a whopping 87% of teenage girls think they are too fat and THEY ARE NOT!!! So don't worry. If you are concerned then try exercising once a day.
  10. Think of the thing(s) that are making you feel bad about yourself and think up 5 ways to improve it! write them down and get to work on doing them! then u will feel better.

Building Self-Esteem

I think the first thing is to drop your caution. I had lower self-esteem because I held back and lacked belief that I had self-esteem. Just going for it actually can work sometimes. This may sound a little illogical to just have higher self-esteem, but it can work. You may also hold back because you think that the change in personality or the more confident you would not last or people would notice. Even if this were true, you would still be heading in the direction of higher self-esteem; you would be proving to yourself that you were capable.

People lack higher self-esteem because they worry about what others think and are self-conscious. This self-consciousness stops us from being who we are. If you think about it you'll probably realise that in yourself you could even have a larger personality than those around you. Because of this you cower inwards as you would be the centre of attention among the people you are near. I think if you cease to care what others think about you, you would do yourself a big favour. If you don't care what others think, you are able to be more confident because it won't matter whether you make mistakes or not. You lack confidence because you fear mistakes and error when socialising.

One of the most important principals to gaining self-esteem is finding what you are good at. Find the things you are best at and hold them in your mind wherever you go. Do this particularly when you feel you have low self-esteem and you will probably hold your head up much higher. Push all doubt away and know that because you are good at whatever you are, you are just as confident and able as others are.

If you feel more relaxed in a certain situation (particularly at home in bed) then this may help. Whenever you lack confidence, imagine you are in a safe place. You are completely comfortable and not afraid of anything because there really isn't anything to be afraid of. If you close your eyes briefly or just imagine/visualise you are actually there when self-esteem is lacking you can actually bring some of that comfortable contended feeling into yourself wherever you are.

This brings me on to my next point. Being more relaxed is essential to having self-esteem. When your physical body is tense your mind is functioning at a lower and far less profound way than when you are relaxed. If you relax all of your muscles and try to be aware of and remove any tension from you, you will find it far easier to be confident.

Stand up tall: Once you have your belief in who you are and what your capable of/what your good at, try and stand up tall (non- metaphorically.) Standing up tall reminds you it doesn't matter what others think and that you can be confident. (Buddhists also believe it keeps you more relaxed and focused!)

The most important point is; don't end up believing you have the lowest self-esteem because others say you have. I did this and sadly took it to the extreme. At it's height I couldn't even talk to anyone because I believed I had low self-esteem. Self-esteem is a belief not a reality, it exists because you believe it does.

Why Can't Life be Perfect?

I could just say "Life is what you make of it" and leave it at that but truthfully I don't want to say that and you probably don't want to hear it either.

I remember the Wallgreens commercial "we live no where near perfect..."  and I hate that commercial. Having a 'perfect' life has nothing to do with having all the luxuries you can think of. Also unlike Robert A. Henlien's saying "The richest person is the one with he most friends" is also not true. It is the one who makes the most of what they are dealt that has the best life. I know you are thinking "yeah right" but no matter how bad you have it in the long run it's really not that bad. There is someone that use to go to my school that I will never forget. She was from a war-torn country and her whole family was killed in front of her. She somehow was still able to manage to keep a smile on her face and look at the good in her life.

When one spends their whole life looking back at their past, they miss their future. Life is too short for pity and regret as there is always good in your life no matter what the situation.

Self Esteem Tricks

These are the very Self-Esteem tricks I use myself, so I know they work well.

  1. Think of things that give you confidence. For example school grades if you have any good ones. Find things that you are good at (for me it's computers), or better than other people at. I know it's not good to think your better than other people at something, but it does give you good self-esteem! The most important thing is to make you feel good about yourself, you can only do that if you have something to be proud of; so find something you are good at.
  2. It's not about who other people are; it's about who you are. If you are yourself with one person (such as a relative at home) you are also yourself with others too. Be yourself. If you have trouble talking to people then this is how I suggest you think.
  3. Relaxing. The biggest secret to having confidence is to relax. I can't say it any clearer than that, but if you try and relax your whole body it will help. It has a lot to do with meditation, if you have a meditation technique use that, if not then pm me and I'll tell you. smile.gif Another thing you could think is what is the worst thing that can happen in this situation? In the end whatever happens; it doesn't matter. The situation is likely to result in much worse consequences if you are nervous.
  4. If you feel afraid then I use this self-esteem technique, which I've just worked out and tested. This happened because I was sitting in a lecture. The man that was speaking decided that he would ask people questions at random, and naturally I was experiencing a feeling of utter dread at the prospect of being asked a question in front of a whole audience. As I was sitting there I began thinking about how I would feel most comfortable talking like this, and I realised that I feel most confident at home. I then visualised home and how it would feel to be sitting there right now. This had the effect of making me much more confidant and I managed to answer the questions without coughing and spluttering, or being really nervous about it. This one works with among large groups of people.

Well those are the things that have helped to give me self-esteem. I hope they work for you as they have for me.

You Are ALL Judging Yourself!

People are calling gay people "we", "they" as if it is a race, as if you are different. You are a complete hypocrite by saying straight people should treat you EQUALLY. You aren't even doing it yourself! If you expect people to see you are EQUAL then how about stop judging yourself?

We ARE ALL EQUALS.

Remember that.

Whether you fancy/love/like/fuck/admire girls or guys or trees or animals or Bananas (me, lol) it does NOT matter. You are not part of a society. All of us humans should NOT split ourselves up into groups. None of us are different. We are all unique like each other. This means nothing that we do is weird. We are all the same but in different ways.

The whole "coming out" shit isn't really relevant at all. YOU DO NOT NEED TO COME OUT at all!

You need to learn how to be yourself. How to feel comfortable with yourself, and above all how to not compare yourself to other people.

The main point in this article is TO STOP JUDGING. All of you!

Treat everyone equally. No-one is better than anyone. Remember that.