Sometimes Goodbye Is A Second Chance: A Memoir.

You always hear that trickling phrase, "Life is short." or, "Live for today." I used to think, what a bunch of bullshit. I'm 22, life is not short for me. Yeah; or is it really short? A friend of mine recently passed away at the age of 22. Tell me how this happens? Tell me how someone so vibrant and loved just dies? My friend used to be a member of this site, as well. Her name was Kristen aka IM so tOrmenteD. Actually, I met her through this site. I was sixteen, drinking beers, and severely depressed. I met Kristen in the chat room that night and her calm words and our in-depth conversations built into a great friendship. A friendship in which we would call love. She was my first love.

Our conversations consisted of anything and everything. I remember we even talked about what animals we would be if we could. We both agreed on monkeys. After hearing of her passing, I quickly rummaged through our online journals to just find what comments she had left me. One being: "You are my world, please don't take that away from me." I couldn't help but think, that even though our love changed into a friendship... my world was taken away; so quickly. I still do not fully believe that she is no longer around. She used to tell me she was always just a phone call away. Yet, all of our conversations were minuscule compared to her friends and family around her. They got to see her daily, talk to her daily, they knew her. I cannot even begin to imagine what pain and grief they are going through. I wish them the strength and the will to live their lives and move on.

What I did know was that she was not fully happy about her own life and wanted out numerous times. I just hope she is happy where she is now and is still with us in spirit. I wish there was a definite way to find out what happens after death because I truly hope we live amongst each other in spirit life; I hope to meet her one day and hear her beautiful voice again.

I love you, Beautiful... always.