The pinned topics area was ~*~WAY~*~ to crowded, so i decided to make an 'important topics'...I feel taht if it was pinned then it must be important and it should never go away.
After one month of being inactivly posted in, i will copy and paste the begining post here and the starter! :)
Please do not reply responces here. If you wish to discuss something either A) go back to the original document (by clicking on "~*~Clicky~*~") or B) starting another topic to discuss it...!!
But feel free to add your article or rant and we may pin it! :) :hugs:
Thank You! :)
:hug:
~Jeff~
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12 replies to this topic
#2
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Posted 04 October 2004 - 08:42 PM
[SIZE=2][u]You are ALL judging yourself. [/u]
People are calling gay people ?we? as if it is a race ? as if you are different.
You are complete hypocrite ? saying straight people should treat you EQUALLY. You aren?t doing it yourself! If you expect people to see you are EQUAL then how about stop judging yourself?
We ARE ALL EQUALS.
Remember that.
Whether you fancy/love/like/fuck/admire girls or guys or trees or animals or BANANA?s (me lol) it does NOT matter. You are not part of a society. All of us humans should NOT split ourselves up into groups. None of us are different. We are all unique like each other. Which means nothing we do is weird. We are all the same but in different ways.
The whole ?Coming out? shit isn?t really relevant at all. YOU DO NOT NEED TO COME OUT ? at all!
You need to learn how to be yourself. How to feel comfortable with yourself, and above all how to not compare yourself to other people. [/SIZE]
The main point in this post is STOP JUDGING. All of you.
Treat everyone equally. [u]No-one is better than anyone. [/u]:P
Remember that.
Oh and it would help if this post was pinned ? people would take notice of it more. Thanks.
~ Kel xxxx[/b][/quote]
Discussion: [url=http://www.helpingteens.org/groups/index.php?showtopic=30981]~*~Clicky~*~[/url]
People are calling gay people ?we? as if it is a race ? as if you are different.
You are complete hypocrite ? saying straight people should treat you EQUALLY. You aren?t doing it yourself! If you expect people to see you are EQUAL then how about stop judging yourself?
We ARE ALL EQUALS.
Remember that.
Whether you fancy/love/like/fuck/admire girls or guys or trees or animals or BANANA?s (me lol) it does NOT matter. You are not part of a society. All of us humans should NOT split ourselves up into groups. None of us are different. We are all unique like each other. Which means nothing we do is weird. We are all the same but in different ways.
The whole ?Coming out? shit isn?t really relevant at all. YOU DO NOT NEED TO COME OUT ? at all!
You need to learn how to be yourself. How to feel comfortable with yourself, and above all how to not compare yourself to other people. [/SIZE]
The main point in this post is STOP JUDGING. All of you.
Treat everyone equally. [u]No-one is better than anyone. [/u]:P
Remember that.
Oh and it would help if this post was pinned ? people would take notice of it more. Thanks.
~ Kel xxxx[/b][/quote]
Discussion: [url=http://www.helpingteens.org/groups/index.php?showtopic=30981]~*~Clicky~*~[/url]
#3
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Posted 04 October 2004 - 08:47 PM
kneesofmybees,Jul 3 2004
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Quote
Originally posted by kneesofmybees@Jul 3 2004, 03:43 AM
With recent issues regarding the perpetuation of stereotypes, and the further anti-progressive effects of stereotyping, and even embracing it or working with it, I felt the need to post some definitions in sexuality, to help gay/bisexual/straight people understand that most of the difficulty you have with being true is projected upon you.
Steretype
A stereotype is an exaggerated belief, image or distorted truth about a person or group ? a generalization that allows for little or no individual differences or social variation. Stereotypes are based on images in mass media, or reputations passed on by parents, peers and other members of society.
The Effects of stereotypes
A person who carries the stigma of group membership must be prepared for its debilitating effects.
Studies indicate that African American teenagers are aware they are stigmatized as being intellectually inferior and that they go to school bearing what psychologist Claude Steele has called a "burden of suspicion." Such a burden can affect their attitudes and achievement.
These shadows hang over stigmatized people no matter their status or accomplishments. They must remain on guard and bear an additional burden that may affect their self-confidence, performance and aspirations. These stigmas have the potential to rob them of their individuality and debilitate their attempts to break out of stereotypical roles.
- tolerance.org
basically, in english.. this means, you are limiting yourselves by following a stereoytype, or accepting it.. so stop.
how to stop it.
If people are aware of their hidden biases, they can monitor and attempt to ameliorate hidden attitudes before they are expressed through behavior.
You are in control of the futhering of stereotypes. If you just accept them as 'how it is' you will only perpetuate them. Your sexuality, your gender identification, or anything you do, can be stereotyped, the goal is to actively remember that stereotypes do not represent an individual, and how you react based on your stereotype acceptance can cause damage to a person.
If your going to perpetuate steretypes, your only going to be working against progress, as well as, cause harm... its a known fact the stereotypes and the belief in them, limits people..
sources: tolerance.org, glaad.org, glsenn.. [more help on how to 'stop' or 'minimize' can be attained at tolerance.org]
With recent issues regarding the perpetuation of stereotypes, and the further anti-progressive effects of stereotyping, and even embracing it or working with it, I felt the need to post some definitions in sexuality, to help gay/bisexual/straight people understand that most of the difficulty you have with being true is projected upon you.
Steretype
A stereotype is an exaggerated belief, image or distorted truth about a person or group ? a generalization that allows for little or no individual differences or social variation. Stereotypes are based on images in mass media, or reputations passed on by parents, peers and other members of society.
The Effects of stereotypes
A person who carries the stigma of group membership must be prepared for its debilitating effects.
Studies indicate that African American teenagers are aware they are stigmatized as being intellectually inferior and that they go to school bearing what psychologist Claude Steele has called a "burden of suspicion." Such a burden can affect their attitudes and achievement.
These shadows hang over stigmatized people no matter their status or accomplishments. They must remain on guard and bear an additional burden that may affect their self-confidence, performance and aspirations. These stigmas have the potential to rob them of their individuality and debilitate their attempts to break out of stereotypical roles.
- tolerance.org
basically, in english.. this means, you are limiting yourselves by following a stereoytype, or accepting it.. so stop.
how to stop it.
If people are aware of their hidden biases, they can monitor and attempt to ameliorate hidden attitudes before they are expressed through behavior.
You are in control of the futhering of stereotypes. If you just accept them as 'how it is' you will only perpetuate them. Your sexuality, your gender identification, or anything you do, can be stereotyped, the goal is to actively remember that stereotypes do not represent an individual, and how you react based on your stereotype acceptance can cause damage to a person.
If your going to perpetuate steretypes, your only going to be working against progress, as well as, cause harm... its a known fact the stereotypes and the belief in them, limits people..
sources: tolerance.org, glaad.org, glsenn.. [more help on how to 'stop' or 'minimize' can be attained at tolerance.org]
Discussion: ~*~Clicky~*~
#4
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Posted 04 October 2004 - 08:52 PM
Halo_n_Horns - Jun 14 2004
Discussion: ~*~Clicky~*~
Quote
Originally posted by Halo_n_Horns@Jun 14 2004, 12:29 PM
This is an article for anyone who is unsure about their sexuality or are worried about what others will think about them if they were to tell the truth regarding their sexuality.
Everyones tastes are different...and you cannot change yours! Some people realise that they are gay from a young age but others do not realise until later in life so its not abnormal to be unsure about your sexuality whilst you are a teen. Perhaps you have strong feelings one way or another? Or perhaps you like both males and females? A girl who has been my friend since we started primary school together recently admitted to me that she was Bi. She was unsure as to how I would react as others had criticised her. But I did not understand why, as through my eyes she was still, and always would be Rebecca* (name changed). Its on the inside that truly counts and perhaps you think that if you hide the fact you will gain acceptance...but what about happiness? You do not want to lose your true self! Some people take longer than others in realising their sexuality but if you do decide that you are gay or Bi, remember that you are still the same person as before! In case anyone is wondering, I am straight, however I do know many people who are Bi or gay and I do not see them any different as I previously did. The most important thing to remember is to stay true to yourself. Being gay does not make you a bad person! It just makes you extra special, and anyone who cannot see that is probably not worth your time anyway! ?'m not saying it will be easy as eating a pie because it won't...but if you understand that you remain the same then others will catch on. Do not be worried, afraid or embarrassed about what other people will say. If you accept yourself, others will too.
Not sure if this helped anyone, but hopefully it showed that you do not change just because you realise your sexuality.
This is an article for anyone who is unsure about their sexuality or are worried about what others will think about them if they were to tell the truth regarding their sexuality.
Everyones tastes are different...and you cannot change yours! Some people realise that they are gay from a young age but others do not realise until later in life so its not abnormal to be unsure about your sexuality whilst you are a teen. Perhaps you have strong feelings one way or another? Or perhaps you like both males and females? A girl who has been my friend since we started primary school together recently admitted to me that she was Bi. She was unsure as to how I would react as others had criticised her. But I did not understand why, as through my eyes she was still, and always would be Rebecca* (name changed). Its on the inside that truly counts and perhaps you think that if you hide the fact you will gain acceptance...but what about happiness? You do not want to lose your true self! Some people take longer than others in realising their sexuality but if you do decide that you are gay or Bi, remember that you are still the same person as before! In case anyone is wondering, I am straight, however I do know many people who are Bi or gay and I do not see them any different as I previously did. The most important thing to remember is to stay true to yourself. Being gay does not make you a bad person! It just makes you extra special, and anyone who cannot see that is probably not worth your time anyway! ?'m not saying it will be easy as eating a pie because it won't...but if you understand that you remain the same then others will catch on. Do not be worried, afraid or embarrassed about what other people will say. If you accept yourself, others will too.
Not sure if this helped anyone, but hopefully it showed that you do not change just because you realise your sexuality.
Discussion: ~*~Clicky~*~
#5
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Posted 13 December 2004 - 09:19 PM
~*~AiM_uSeR~*~ - Nov 2 2004
Discussion: ~*~Clicky~*~
Quote
Originally posted by ~*~AiM_uSeR~*~@Nov 2 2004, 09:20 PM
Hey. I just wanted to post this becuase of various reasons and i thought that it is helpful so i am going to post it. If others disagree then i will unpin it...
I just wanted to say to those that are out and to those whom are closeted: do not be afraid to be yourself. For a little over 16 years i was who people wanted me to be and i hated it. Day after day of depression becuase life wasn't good enough and people still thought of me like crap. I hated the way i acted because i loved who i was but was scared of what others thought of me. As you all know i came out April 26th, 2004 and since than my life has changed. True there is still some depression but the depression isn't as bad knowing that you are yourself.
Don't be afraid to show the world your homosexuality. If you want to were unisex looking clothing becuase you like it then wear it...if you want to wear rainbow clothing than wear it...if you want to speak about homosexuality then speak about it.
Not to sound consitted but it took me till like a month ago to realize that the world doesn't revolve around me. Everyone has their own dreams, their own goals, their own life...which includes their own faults and failures. I always felt that the world focused on my faults and failures and thats basically why i was depressed and i know there are others out there that are in the same boat as I.
So to conclude, don't be afraid to be yourself. Its better to be who you are than being who others want you to be. It makes you feel better on the inside and on the outside. There will be people that love you for who you are and hate you for who you are - weither you act to please people or act like yourself.
Never fear what others think...everyone fears looking in the mirror to see themself. Everyone fears what others will think. Everyone fears...becuase of this you know that not everyone is focusing on your looks or your faults or your failures...
And if your still depressed and questioning if people will love you...walk up to the mirror and say "I love what i see"...Because all that matters in reality is that you love yourself - and others will love you too
:hug:
~Jeff~
Hey. I just wanted to post this becuase of various reasons and i thought that it is helpful so i am going to post it. If others disagree then i will unpin it...
I just wanted to say to those that are out and to those whom are closeted: do not be afraid to be yourself. For a little over 16 years i was who people wanted me to be and i hated it. Day after day of depression becuase life wasn't good enough and people still thought of me like crap. I hated the way i acted because i loved who i was but was scared of what others thought of me. As you all know i came out April 26th, 2004 and since than my life has changed. True there is still some depression but the depression isn't as bad knowing that you are yourself.
Don't be afraid to show the world your homosexuality. If you want to were unisex looking clothing becuase you like it then wear it...if you want to wear rainbow clothing than wear it...if you want to speak about homosexuality then speak about it.
Not to sound consitted but it took me till like a month ago to realize that the world doesn't revolve around me. Everyone has their own dreams, their own goals, their own life...which includes their own faults and failures. I always felt that the world focused on my faults and failures and thats basically why i was depressed and i know there are others out there that are in the same boat as I.
So to conclude, don't be afraid to be yourself. Its better to be who you are than being who others want you to be. It makes you feel better on the inside and on the outside. There will be people that love you for who you are and hate you for who you are - weither you act to please people or act like yourself.
Never fear what others think...everyone fears looking in the mirror to see themself. Everyone fears what others will think. Everyone fears...becuase of this you know that not everyone is focusing on your looks or your faults or your failures...
And if your still depressed and questioning if people will love you...walk up to the mirror and say "I love what i see"...Because all that matters in reality is that you love yourself - and others will love you too
:hug:
~Jeff~
Discussion: ~*~Clicky~*~
#6
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Posted 02 January 2005 - 09:38 PM
OnlyInside - Nov 16 2004
Discussion: ~*~Clicky~*~
Quote
Originally posted by OnlyInside@Nov 16 2004, 10:02 PM
http://www.familieslikemine.com
This woman has also written a book about being a straight child with gay parents (I believe there are also accounts from other people). It's an interesting site and I think that you should all check it out.
Also, if you are a child with gay parent(s), it would be much appreciated if you posted your experiences (good or bad).
OI
**Pinned**
http://www.familieslikemine.com
This woman has also written a book about being a straight child with gay parents (I believe there are also accounts from other people). It's an interesting site and I think that you should all check it out.
Also, if you are a child with gay parent(s), it would be much appreciated if you posted your experiences (good or bad).
OI
**Pinned**
Discussion: ~*~Clicky~*~
#7
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Posted 06 February 2005 - 09:59 PM
kneesofmybees - Jan 1 2005
Discussion: ~*~Clicky~*~
Quote
Originally posted by kneesofmybees@Jan 1 2005, 11:25 PM
So I always see these topics where people are looking for the quick fix answers to "coming out." There are none! Coming out is a journey through which all must self navigate, as it is a challenge of fears and based on our own individual experiences..
I'm writing this as a response to a lot of questions I've seen over my years here at HT.
Q: How do I come out?
A: This is different for everybody. It's a matter of coming to terms with yourself and then getting the confidence and/or security to share who you are with others, which is difficult for all people. There is no real way to tell a person, as long as you do it in person, and in a safe environment. Othwerwise, it's all based on how you express yourself.
Q: I feel like I have to come out, what do I do?
A: People generally gravitate toward being themselves and feel pressure from themselves to 'come out' after keeping all their feelings bubbling under. So, the way you are feeling is a innate control from your inner-being to "release." If your logical side doesn't feel safe, then release in a private (non accessable) way. Or begin your journey on coming out.
Q: I am out to one of my friends, and he/she outed me to others! what do I do?
A: Your friend violated your trust, re-evaluate that relationship. As per 'damage control,' you don't need it. There is nothing to be ashamed of, and you don't have to confirm or deny anything. Your sexuality is your business, until you feel you want to share it with others.
...and I'll add more later maybe.
Back to the point. "Coming out" is a journey, not a one day thing where the whole world must know. It takes years for you to connect with yourself (the real you) in ways you never thought, it takes work, and effort and small steps. Keep that in mind when you post a thread in sexuality, that there is no 'quick fix.'
- nicholas
So I always see these topics where people are looking for the quick fix answers to "coming out." There are none! Coming out is a journey through which all must self navigate, as it is a challenge of fears and based on our own individual experiences..
I'm writing this as a response to a lot of questions I've seen over my years here at HT.
Q: How do I come out?
A: This is different for everybody. It's a matter of coming to terms with yourself and then getting the confidence and/or security to share who you are with others, which is difficult for all people. There is no real way to tell a person, as long as you do it in person, and in a safe environment. Othwerwise, it's all based on how you express yourself.
Q: I feel like I have to come out, what do I do?
A: People generally gravitate toward being themselves and feel pressure from themselves to 'come out' after keeping all their feelings bubbling under. So, the way you are feeling is a innate control from your inner-being to "release." If your logical side doesn't feel safe, then release in a private (non accessable) way. Or begin your journey on coming out.
Q: I am out to one of my friends, and he/she outed me to others! what do I do?
A: Your friend violated your trust, re-evaluate that relationship. As per 'damage control,' you don't need it. There is nothing to be ashamed of, and you don't have to confirm or deny anything. Your sexuality is your business, until you feel you want to share it with others.
...and I'll add more later maybe.
Back to the point. "Coming out" is a journey, not a one day thing where the whole world must know. It takes years for you to connect with yourself (the real you) in ways you never thought, it takes work, and effort and small steps. Keep that in mind when you post a thread in sexuality, that there is no 'quick fix.'
- nicholas
Discussion: ~*~Clicky~*~
#8
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Posted 16 February 2005 - 09:18 PM
~*~AiM_uSeR~*~ - Jan 5 2005
Discussion: ~*~Clicky~*~
Quote
Originally posted by ~*~AiM_uSeR~*~@Jan 5 2005, 09:36 PM
As you know w/ everything there are phycological stages and i thought i would put them here in relation toward sexuality.
These stages could take you years to surpass or days depending on who you are...
So if you have been in a stage for a while, do not be sad or feel wimpy or anything becuase some stages even took me time to pass
STAGE ONE: Denial
This is the stage were you do not believe you are gay/bi/les...The main statement affiliated is "not me"...
This stage is truly the hardest to pass becuase you do not want to beleive you are gay/bi/les because of what your family or friends might think of you. But you have to remember that you are loved and your sexuality is only one aspect of who you are and you are a great person that people will love even if you do like the same gender!
:hug:
STAGE TWO: Anger
This is the stage when you are pissed that you are gay/bi/les...The main statement affiliated is "why me?"
This is when you are pissed about who you are. This stage can take a while to pass for some but others go right to bargaining...
:hug:
STAGE THREE: Bargaining
This is the stage that most people go through and this is another stage that lasts for a while...The main statement affiliated is "If only..."
This stage is when you try to go out w/ someone of the opposite sex beliveing : "If only i had someone of the opposite sex then i will be straight" or "If i keep my body in the straight sexuality then my mind is sure to follow"
After we realize that we are born this way (you are :)) then we go into the 4th stage...
:hug:
STAGE FOUR: Depression
This stage is the stage when you just say: "leave me alone"...your scared of what others will think of you and you don't want to be around the same sex in fear you will be attracted to them becuase you want to still be straight. Again to get over this you need to realize that you are never alone. There are gay people out there for you to be w/...yeah the population is lower but there are people that will love you and you shouldn't hate who you are and you shouldn't want to be alone.
:hug:
STAGE FIVE: Acceptance
Finally you have accepted who you are! :) This stage is when you can look in the mirror and say "i am gay/bi/les" and smile back. You may not be out but at least you have accepted the fact that you are a homo/bisexual
:hug:
I hope this helped. I have been working on it for a few days mentally...haha...
And remember: Even if you have moved on to another stage and go backward (for instance if you have moved to Bargaining but then go back to anger or denial) that is totally normal! :)
Love you all, always! :)
~Jeff~
As you know w/ everything there are phycological stages and i thought i would put them here in relation toward sexuality.
These stages could take you years to surpass or days depending on who you are...
So if you have been in a stage for a while, do not be sad or feel wimpy or anything becuase some stages even took me time to pass
STAGE ONE: Denial
This is the stage were you do not believe you are gay/bi/les...The main statement affiliated is "not me"...
This stage is truly the hardest to pass becuase you do not want to beleive you are gay/bi/les because of what your family or friends might think of you. But you have to remember that you are loved and your sexuality is only one aspect of who you are and you are a great person that people will love even if you do like the same gender!
:hug:
STAGE TWO: Anger
This is the stage when you are pissed that you are gay/bi/les...The main statement affiliated is "why me?"
This is when you are pissed about who you are. This stage can take a while to pass for some but others go right to bargaining...
:hug:
STAGE THREE: Bargaining
This is the stage that most people go through and this is another stage that lasts for a while...The main statement affiliated is "If only..."
This stage is when you try to go out w/ someone of the opposite sex beliveing : "If only i had someone of the opposite sex then i will be straight" or "If i keep my body in the straight sexuality then my mind is sure to follow"
After we realize that we are born this way (you are :)) then we go into the 4th stage...
:hug:
STAGE FOUR: Depression
This stage is the stage when you just say: "leave me alone"...your scared of what others will think of you and you don't want to be around the same sex in fear you will be attracted to them becuase you want to still be straight. Again to get over this you need to realize that you are never alone. There are gay people out there for you to be w/...yeah the population is lower but there are people that will love you and you shouldn't hate who you are and you shouldn't want to be alone.
:hug:
STAGE FIVE: Acceptance
Finally you have accepted who you are! :) This stage is when you can look in the mirror and say "i am gay/bi/les" and smile back. You may not be out but at least you have accepted the fact that you are a homo/bisexual
:hug:
I hope this helped. I have been working on it for a few days mentally...haha...
And remember: Even if you have moved on to another stage and go backward (for instance if you have moved to Bargaining but then go back to anger or denial) that is totally normal! :)
Love you all, always! :)
~Jeff~
Discussion: ~*~Clicky~*~
#9
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Posted 31 March 2005 - 09:19 PM
SirPostAlot - Feb 16 2005
Discussion: ~*~Clicky~*~
Quote
Originally posted by SirPostAlot@Feb 16 2005, 09:45 PM
Today we had a field trip to the local university to learn about HIV/AIDS and there was a fiftyish guy there that was HIV positive and he was talking about his growing up in school and he said that he envied our generation because we are much more open than back in his day...
He sayed that back in his day (which is still sorta true - at least mentally to ourselves) that if you are born gay/bi/lesbian you have the choice to A) admit it and be made fun of horribly or B) build a tough shell and let no one inside of you...
It was very emotional to sit there and here him talk about his childhood because it is pretty simple to how life is today but i mean his highschool days were very rough and he said that he built a tough shell and let no one in, until one day when he blew up and he said that, that was the "end of the beginning of his life - but also the beginning of hell" and it was pretty sad...
But this is just to tell my fellow homosexuals that we all know that life is a bitch and people are still very igorant, but from his story it just proves how much the american way of acceptance has grew - even though there is still alot of homophobia, but it is better...
And its going uphill, which means for the next generation hopefully all homophobia will be over! :) Lets hope so...becuase i know i don't want my nieces and nefews and may grandnieces and grandnefews to have to have to witness the discrimination that we have today...
:hug:
Just keep up your end of the way and be who you are and do not be ashamed of who you are...the last thing we want is for it to go downhill and go back down to the hellish beginnings...
Life is only going to get better.... :)
We all may seem like a petty piece to the puzzle of ending homophobia, but if we quit now, then that is one less supporter and one less demonstator and one less awsome human! :)
Love who you are and show people that it isn't bad...Life will get better...it shall! :hug:
~Jeff~
Today we had a field trip to the local university to learn about HIV/AIDS and there was a fiftyish guy there that was HIV positive and he was talking about his growing up in school and he said that he envied our generation because we are much more open than back in his day...
He sayed that back in his day (which is still sorta true - at least mentally to ourselves) that if you are born gay/bi/lesbian you have the choice to A) admit it and be made fun of horribly or B) build a tough shell and let no one inside of you...
It was very emotional to sit there and here him talk about his childhood because it is pretty simple to how life is today but i mean his highschool days were very rough and he said that he built a tough shell and let no one in, until one day when he blew up and he said that, that was the "end of the beginning of his life - but also the beginning of hell" and it was pretty sad...
But this is just to tell my fellow homosexuals that we all know that life is a bitch and people are still very igorant, but from his story it just proves how much the american way of acceptance has grew - even though there is still alot of homophobia, but it is better...
And its going uphill, which means for the next generation hopefully all homophobia will be over! :) Lets hope so...becuase i know i don't want my nieces and nefews and may grandnieces and grandnefews to have to have to witness the discrimination that we have today...
:hug:
Just keep up your end of the way and be who you are and do not be ashamed of who you are...the last thing we want is for it to go downhill and go back down to the hellish beginnings...
Life is only going to get better.... :)
We all may seem like a petty piece to the puzzle of ending homophobia, but if we quit now, then that is one less supporter and one less demonstator and one less awsome human! :)
Love who you are and show people that it isn't bad...Life will get better...it shall! :hug:
~Jeff~
Discussion: ~*~Clicky~*~
#10
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Posted 25 April 2005 - 08:54 PM
Jaegermeister - Feb 18 2005
Discussion: ~*~Clicky~*~
Quote
Originally posted by Jaegermeister@Feb 18 2005, 03:53 AM
Just, A-fucking-men is all I have to say about this.
From The Advocate
My sentiments exactly.
tJ
Just, A-fucking-men is all I have to say about this.
From The Advocate
Quote
In the grip of gay panic
What do the murderers of gay men have in common with the White House? An aggressive strategy to justify their own selfish actions by devaluing the lives of gay men and lesbians. And we have no one but ourselves to blame
By the Most Reverend Bruce J. Simpson, Benedictine Order of St. John the Beloved
An Advocate.com exclusive, posted February 10, 2005
As I sit here at my desk day after day reading the news stories that streak across the news pages of various Web sites and newspapers, I become more and more angry. Within the last week or so, I have read many disturbing stories.
A jury in Kentucky rejected a charge of murder for a man who confessed to beating and strangling a gay man, stuffing his body into a suitcase, and then casting it upon the waters of a lake. Even though the accused murderer had confessed to an aunt that he intentionally lured a gay man to his hotel room where he had planned to kill the victim, because of a ?steaming anger? toward gay men, the jury found him guilty only of manslaughter.
Defense counsel argued that even manslaughter was too harsh, telling the jury that the killer was ?privileged to do? what he did to the victim because the victim made a sexual advance. The victim was put on trial for being a gay man rather than the killer being convicted for premeditated murder. The attorney went on to tell the jury that the killer had the right under Kentucky law to fight back to protect himself from being raped or sodomized, using deadly force if necessary, and would do so again.
The killer faces a sentence of up to 30 years, but under Kentucky law he could be eligible for parole in just 30 months.
In another murder case a gay man was killed after he and another man had sex in Wisconsin. The killer?s defense attorney is using the ?gay panic? defense as a reason for the killing, claiming guilt and shame led to temporary insanity and that the killer should not be held accountable for the crime?even though he already pled guilty to murder. Apparently having consensual oral sex with another man in Wisconsin is justification for shooting the victim in the back of the head with a shotgun a few hours later as well as stabbing him. The 19-year-old murderer?s defense attorney has also said that the killer was no longer confused about his sexuality because he had started a relationship with a 14-year-old girl?thus suggesting that pedophilia was somehow a therapeutic response to homicidal homophobia.
The prosecution tells another version of events, arguing that the killer wanted to see how it felt to kill the victim and to see if he can get away with it. Sentencing is pending.
I?ll spare you the details of similar murder cases in Tennessee and Arizona, but you can read the stories for yourself elsewhere on this Web site.
Meanwhile, in the great Commonwealth of Virginia, that bastion of liberty and love, the house of delegates passed a bill that will allow license plates to extol ?Traditional Marriage.? How could that simple message make anyone feel bad? At the same time, a school board member of Fairfax, Va., asked all schools to host ?ex-gay speakers? so that the students could be ?offered a choice? instead of being exposed to the ?very destructive [gay] lifestyle.?
Offered a choice? Is that like choosing between the pizza or the mystery meat at lunch? Don?t they get that being or not being gay is not chosen? Obviously not.
Speaking of schools: In the state of Texas, another shining star of tolerance, last month once again found another Christian institution expelling a gay Christian student from high school. His offense? He created a Web site targeted to support gay youths. This was all it took for the Trinity ?Christian? Academy to not only expel 18-year-old James Barnett, but to out him to his parents. This then has led to his possible expulsion from his family home as well because the parents don?t like the publicity they are receiving. Too much visibility for that traditional Christian love, I guess.
Maybe they?re just protecting the children, like in Arkansas, where a bill has been introduced?and probably will pass?that bars gay couples from adopting. ?Some people think this bill is an antigay bill; it is not,? said Rep. Bob Adams. Huh? Apparently like the Roman Catholic Church, he believes it is preferable to leave children languishing in orphanages rather than go to a loving home where the child can be well cared for and loved. Maybe, as in Oklahoma, the state of Arkansas would like to undo loving adoptions cemented in other states, thus putting helpless children in jeopardy of losing their parents all together. Creating orphans for their own good.
The ingredient missing in so many of these stories is love?but don?t expect our mainstream media to allow anyone to offer a loving hand to gays and lesbians, even if they?re willing to pay for the privilege. Two TV networks, CBS and NBC, recently refused to carry a message from the United Church of Christ that touted its inclusion of all people within its churches. How could that simple message make anyone feel bad? Isn?t the message of Christ one of inclusion? It seems that these two networks just couldn?t stand to air any ad that preached tolerance and love if it included welcoming gay couples?one even cited George W. Bush?s renewed attack on the LGBT community via the U.S. Constitution as a reason not to air the ad, lest they offend the right-wing White House.
Of course ABC did not want to be left out of the race of the networks to see who could seem the least gay friendly. Its news program 20/20 in November disturbed the grave and peace of Matthew Shepard, appeasing the religious right and Washington, D.C., fascists by ripping open a wound that hasn?t closed since the day that Matthew was murdered, more than six years ago. As reported on Advocate.com, it seems that the producers of this segment had made up their minds about the conclusion of their ?renewed investigation? before their reporting was even completed: It was drug-related rather than a hate crime, and Matthew was partly to blame because he was a drug user who had probably hung out with the addicts who killed him.
This attempt at historical revisionism took place in spite of statements made by the cold-blooded killers themselves at the time of their arrests, admitting that homophobia and that old ?gay panic? was their motivation.
This is a Disney-owned company? A company that would collapse if its gay employees all walked out? A company whose theme parks would not be able to open in the morning without gay employees? My partner and I worked for the Walt Disney Company in the late 1970s, and believe me when I say, you could not swing a boa without hitting a good-looking young gay man. Gay men and women are the life?s blood of the parks.
These are all recent news stories. This does not even take us back before last year?s election. A common factor running through all these examples is a cheapening of the value of gay life. It is OK to kill a gay man if he makes a pass at you, although they do frown on shoving bodies into suitcases and polluting a lake with the remains?since that Kentucky killer was innocent of ?murder? yet convicted of ?tampering with physical evidence.?
Not only do these stories underline the cheapening of the lives and deaths of gay people, they reveal how this country has downgraded the essential equality of the American dream. The Bush administration, in particular, promotes a lack of respect for fellow human beings. So do most of the so-called fundamentalist churches that have not seen the true light of the Gospels. With such examples, the everyday man or woman on the streets?and our children and young people?are learning that same lack of respect. Some even wear it proudly. Some even take it to its logical and horrific conclusion: murder.
But I am not just mad at the ignorant, the foolhardy, the religious fundamentalists of all faiths, the Republicans, both gay and straight. I am mad at the LGBT community for allowing this to happen to us after all of the sacrifice and work that has gone before us.
There are millions of us here in the United States. A recent study estimated gay and lesbian buying power at $610 billion a year. With that kind of power, why do we allow this nonsense to continue? Why can our concerns, our rights, our position in society, and our very lives be deemed so unimportant that for a second ?state of the disunion? speech in row, the current occupant of the White House once again calls for permanent second-class status for gay and lesbian Americans and their families? How can we sit back and allow the use of the most sacred secular document in the nation, our Constitution, to further the agenda of the mean-spirited, ugly, capitalistic, warmongering centipedes called the Republican majority?
Why do we allow this?
It is our fault for allowing it to happen. It is our fault for not having national leadership in this community. It is our fault for not having a national strategy to smack down with the back of our hands these upstart anti-American pseudo-Nazis.
We have become as complacent as the Jews of Nazi Germany of the 1920s and early 1930s were, and we know what happened to them.
Never again.
What do the murderers of gay men have in common with the White House? An aggressive strategy to justify their own selfish actions by devaluing the lives of gay men and lesbians. And we have no one but ourselves to blame
By the Most Reverend Bruce J. Simpson, Benedictine Order of St. John the Beloved
An Advocate.com exclusive, posted February 10, 2005
As I sit here at my desk day after day reading the news stories that streak across the news pages of various Web sites and newspapers, I become more and more angry. Within the last week or so, I have read many disturbing stories.
A jury in Kentucky rejected a charge of murder for a man who confessed to beating and strangling a gay man, stuffing his body into a suitcase, and then casting it upon the waters of a lake. Even though the accused murderer had confessed to an aunt that he intentionally lured a gay man to his hotel room where he had planned to kill the victim, because of a ?steaming anger? toward gay men, the jury found him guilty only of manslaughter.
Defense counsel argued that even manslaughter was too harsh, telling the jury that the killer was ?privileged to do? what he did to the victim because the victim made a sexual advance. The victim was put on trial for being a gay man rather than the killer being convicted for premeditated murder. The attorney went on to tell the jury that the killer had the right under Kentucky law to fight back to protect himself from being raped or sodomized, using deadly force if necessary, and would do so again.
The killer faces a sentence of up to 30 years, but under Kentucky law he could be eligible for parole in just 30 months.
In another murder case a gay man was killed after he and another man had sex in Wisconsin. The killer?s defense attorney is using the ?gay panic? defense as a reason for the killing, claiming guilt and shame led to temporary insanity and that the killer should not be held accountable for the crime?even though he already pled guilty to murder. Apparently having consensual oral sex with another man in Wisconsin is justification for shooting the victim in the back of the head with a shotgun a few hours later as well as stabbing him. The 19-year-old murderer?s defense attorney has also said that the killer was no longer confused about his sexuality because he had started a relationship with a 14-year-old girl?thus suggesting that pedophilia was somehow a therapeutic response to homicidal homophobia.
The prosecution tells another version of events, arguing that the killer wanted to see how it felt to kill the victim and to see if he can get away with it. Sentencing is pending.
I?ll spare you the details of similar murder cases in Tennessee and Arizona, but you can read the stories for yourself elsewhere on this Web site.
Meanwhile, in the great Commonwealth of Virginia, that bastion of liberty and love, the house of delegates passed a bill that will allow license plates to extol ?Traditional Marriage.? How could that simple message make anyone feel bad? At the same time, a school board member of Fairfax, Va., asked all schools to host ?ex-gay speakers? so that the students could be ?offered a choice? instead of being exposed to the ?very destructive [gay] lifestyle.?
Offered a choice? Is that like choosing between the pizza or the mystery meat at lunch? Don?t they get that being or not being gay is not chosen? Obviously not.
Speaking of schools: In the state of Texas, another shining star of tolerance, last month once again found another Christian institution expelling a gay Christian student from high school. His offense? He created a Web site targeted to support gay youths. This was all it took for the Trinity ?Christian? Academy to not only expel 18-year-old James Barnett, but to out him to his parents. This then has led to his possible expulsion from his family home as well because the parents don?t like the publicity they are receiving. Too much visibility for that traditional Christian love, I guess.
Maybe they?re just protecting the children, like in Arkansas, where a bill has been introduced?and probably will pass?that bars gay couples from adopting. ?Some people think this bill is an antigay bill; it is not,? said Rep. Bob Adams. Huh? Apparently like the Roman Catholic Church, he believes it is preferable to leave children languishing in orphanages rather than go to a loving home where the child can be well cared for and loved. Maybe, as in Oklahoma, the state of Arkansas would like to undo loving adoptions cemented in other states, thus putting helpless children in jeopardy of losing their parents all together. Creating orphans for their own good.
The ingredient missing in so many of these stories is love?but don?t expect our mainstream media to allow anyone to offer a loving hand to gays and lesbians, even if they?re willing to pay for the privilege. Two TV networks, CBS and NBC, recently refused to carry a message from the United Church of Christ that touted its inclusion of all people within its churches. How could that simple message make anyone feel bad? Isn?t the message of Christ one of inclusion? It seems that these two networks just couldn?t stand to air any ad that preached tolerance and love if it included welcoming gay couples?one even cited George W. Bush?s renewed attack on the LGBT community via the U.S. Constitution as a reason not to air the ad, lest they offend the right-wing White House.
Of course ABC did not want to be left out of the race of the networks to see who could seem the least gay friendly. Its news program 20/20 in November disturbed the grave and peace of Matthew Shepard, appeasing the religious right and Washington, D.C., fascists by ripping open a wound that hasn?t closed since the day that Matthew was murdered, more than six years ago. As reported on Advocate.com, it seems that the producers of this segment had made up their minds about the conclusion of their ?renewed investigation? before their reporting was even completed: It was drug-related rather than a hate crime, and Matthew was partly to blame because he was a drug user who had probably hung out with the addicts who killed him.
This attempt at historical revisionism took place in spite of statements made by the cold-blooded killers themselves at the time of their arrests, admitting that homophobia and that old ?gay panic? was their motivation.
This is a Disney-owned company? A company that would collapse if its gay employees all walked out? A company whose theme parks would not be able to open in the morning without gay employees? My partner and I worked for the Walt Disney Company in the late 1970s, and believe me when I say, you could not swing a boa without hitting a good-looking young gay man. Gay men and women are the life?s blood of the parks.
These are all recent news stories. This does not even take us back before last year?s election. A common factor running through all these examples is a cheapening of the value of gay life. It is OK to kill a gay man if he makes a pass at you, although they do frown on shoving bodies into suitcases and polluting a lake with the remains?since that Kentucky killer was innocent of ?murder? yet convicted of ?tampering with physical evidence.?
Not only do these stories underline the cheapening of the lives and deaths of gay people, they reveal how this country has downgraded the essential equality of the American dream. The Bush administration, in particular, promotes a lack of respect for fellow human beings. So do most of the so-called fundamentalist churches that have not seen the true light of the Gospels. With such examples, the everyday man or woman on the streets?and our children and young people?are learning that same lack of respect. Some even wear it proudly. Some even take it to its logical and horrific conclusion: murder.
But I am not just mad at the ignorant, the foolhardy, the religious fundamentalists of all faiths, the Republicans, both gay and straight. I am mad at the LGBT community for allowing this to happen to us after all of the sacrifice and work that has gone before us.
There are millions of us here in the United States. A recent study estimated gay and lesbian buying power at $610 billion a year. With that kind of power, why do we allow this nonsense to continue? Why can our concerns, our rights, our position in society, and our very lives be deemed so unimportant that for a second ?state of the disunion? speech in row, the current occupant of the White House once again calls for permanent second-class status for gay and lesbian Americans and their families? How can we sit back and allow the use of the most sacred secular document in the nation, our Constitution, to further the agenda of the mean-spirited, ugly, capitalistic, warmongering centipedes called the Republican majority?
Why do we allow this?
It is our fault for allowing it to happen. It is our fault for not having national leadership in this community. It is our fault for not having a national strategy to smack down with the back of our hands these upstart anti-American pseudo-Nazis.
We have become as complacent as the Jews of Nazi Germany of the 1920s and early 1930s were, and we know what happened to them.
Never again.
My sentiments exactly.
tJ
Discussion: ~*~Clicky~*~
#11
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Posted 17 February 2007 - 11:46 AM
[SIZE=2] SirPostAlot - Jan 18 2007
Heres the link to it...
It is a pretty interesting article, i actually believe it very much...
I know sexuality is not a choice, but this has scientific data to show that though it isn't a choice, we (at a young age) are perhaps indirectly lead one way or another based on HIV/AIDS in relativies...
Very interesting! :)
***PINNED***
~Jeff~
[/b][/quote]
Discussion: [url="http://www.helpingteens.org/groups/index.php?showtopic=49107"]Discussion[/url]
Heres the link to it...
It is a pretty interesting article, i actually believe it very much...
I know sexuality is not a choice, but this has scientific data to show that though it isn't a choice, we (at a young age) are perhaps indirectly lead one way or another based on HIV/AIDS in relativies...
Very interesting! :)
***PINNED***
~Jeff~
[/b][/quote]
Discussion: [url="http://www.helpingteens.org/groups/index.php?showtopic=49107"]Discussion[/url]
#12
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Veteran
Posted 18 February 2007 - 09:31 AM
WhOaMi? - Feb 4 2007
Discussion: Discussion
Quote
Has anyone else ever heard of them???....they believe that being gay.bi is a choice and that anyone who chooses to be this way or claim to be this way is sick and wrong....they also say that homosexuality is a mental disorder....thier website is www.narth.com ......just wanted to share this with you all and see what you thought...
Seven Things I Wish
Pro-Gay People Would Admit
By Bob Davies
Exodus International, an Ex-Gay Ministry
1. I wish they would admit that many people are not happy with their homosexuality or lesbianism, and that this conflict is internal, based on legitimate, intelligent religious and moral convictions--not just the result of a so-called "homophobic" society which is forcing guilt upon people who don't conform to a heterosexual ethic.
Stop throwing out the cheap, inaccurate labels like "internalized homophobia" to explain our motivations.
2. I wish they would acknowledge that homosexuals and lesbians can experience significant change in their sexual feelings and desires, even though they may never be totally heterosexual in their sexual thoughts and feelings.
Be honest enough to admit that such change is significant and genuine, even if it isn't complete.
3. I wish they would acknowledge that many former homosexuals and lesbians have found a greater measure of peace and satisfaction after leaving a gay or lesbian lifestyle than they ever experienced while embracing homosexuality.
Not all "ex-gays" are miserable, plotting how to secretly fulfill their homosexual lusts without being caught.
4. I wish they would acknowledge that many former homosexuals and lesbians have genuine joy in their marriages.
Most former gays and lesbians don't get married in a futile attempt to "escape" homosexuality; they marry as a natural consequence of resolving that issue in their lives.
5. I wish they would acknowledge that all people have as much right to pursue a heterosexual lifestyle as they do to pursue homosexuality.
Former homosexuals and lesbians should not be harassed and castigated by the gay community. But I have never heard any gay or lesbian leaders speak out against the violence (such as bomb threats and physical/verbal abuse) which some people perpetuate against Exodus ministries.
6. I wish they would stop equating our decision to leave homosexuality with "hatred" and "bigotry" against gays and lesbians.
We don't hate gays; we simply desire to live free of homosexuality. Don't put nasty labels upon our motives. That's being judgmental and unfair.
7. I wish pro-gay religious leaders would admit that their endorsement and promotion of monogamous homosexual relationships is a facade.
Many--probably most--men and women involved in long-term partnerships are not sexually monogamous, but gay churches don't discipline members for committing "adultery" outside their "gay marriage." Neither do they discipline gays or lesbians who have sex before entering into a "holy union" with their partner.
Bob Davies is past President of Exodus International and an ex-gay himself. He has been married for nine years.
^
that is an article from the website.....wow...[/b]
Seven Things I Wish
Pro-Gay People Would Admit
By Bob Davies
Exodus International, an Ex-Gay Ministry
1. I wish they would admit that many people are not happy with their homosexuality or lesbianism, and that this conflict is internal, based on legitimate, intelligent religious and moral convictions--not just the result of a so-called "homophobic" society which is forcing guilt upon people who don't conform to a heterosexual ethic.
Stop throwing out the cheap, inaccurate labels like "internalized homophobia" to explain our motivations.
2. I wish they would acknowledge that homosexuals and lesbians can experience significant change in their sexual feelings and desires, even though they may never be totally heterosexual in their sexual thoughts and feelings.
Be honest enough to admit that such change is significant and genuine, even if it isn't complete.
3. I wish they would acknowledge that many former homosexuals and lesbians have found a greater measure of peace and satisfaction after leaving a gay or lesbian lifestyle than they ever experienced while embracing homosexuality.
Not all "ex-gays" are miserable, plotting how to secretly fulfill their homosexual lusts without being caught.
4. I wish they would acknowledge that many former homosexuals and lesbians have genuine joy in their marriages.
Most former gays and lesbians don't get married in a futile attempt to "escape" homosexuality; they marry as a natural consequence of resolving that issue in their lives.
5. I wish they would acknowledge that all people have as much right to pursue a heterosexual lifestyle as they do to pursue homosexuality.
Former homosexuals and lesbians should not be harassed and castigated by the gay community. But I have never heard any gay or lesbian leaders speak out against the violence (such as bomb threats and physical/verbal abuse) which some people perpetuate against Exodus ministries.
6. I wish they would stop equating our decision to leave homosexuality with "hatred" and "bigotry" against gays and lesbians.
We don't hate gays; we simply desire to live free of homosexuality. Don't put nasty labels upon our motives. That's being judgmental and unfair.
7. I wish pro-gay religious leaders would admit that their endorsement and promotion of monogamous homosexual relationships is a facade.
Many--probably most--men and women involved in long-term partnerships are not sexually monogamous, but gay churches don't discipline members for committing "adultery" outside their "gay marriage." Neither do they discipline gays or lesbians who have sex before entering into a "holy union" with their partner.
Bob Davies is past President of Exodus International and an ex-gay himself. He has been married for nine years.
^
that is an article from the website.....wow...[/b]
#13
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Posted 18 July 2009 - 07:20 PM
These have all been turned into articles and are on the articles sections. Removing pinned topic.
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