7 replies to this topic

[padresfan]

I'm going to be a senior in college this coming year. This past year and now have been really rotten. Nobody wants to hang out with me anymore. During the school year and this summer I haven't seen anyone, nor hung out with anyone; no one has called me, emailed me, or invited me to hang out with them. It feels as though everyone's forgot about me; I call people, email them, etc. but they never respond back to me. Nobody visits my dorm room just to drop by, leaves messages on the board on my door, or calls my room. I find out later about what all my friends did together and how they did not invite me to join them. This happens more often then not. Most of the time I end up sitting in my room watching a movie, sleeping, or eating dinner by myself. I'm just so tired of it.

[Fishhead]

Summer is typically a time where people go on vacations and whatnot. Perhaps some of your friends have just been away and busy. Also, have you emailed/called/tried to go out with any of them at all? Sometimes when we are at a low point in our lives we wonder why no one ever calls us or wants to go out with us. We tend to forget that we are not calling anyone either. It's a bit of a two-way thing really. Your friends may feel that you have rejected them as well.

Maybe this is a good time for you to start anew. I read about your ADHD diagnosis in the disorders forum. Hopefully the help you are getting for that will help you with the issues it causes in your friendships. Try to join some sort of group where it will be easier for you to get to know new people. Volunteering is a excellent way to do this. There are all sorts of opportunities to volunteer. I'm sure you could find something that matches your interests.

Also, try giving your old friends a ring. See if you and a few of your old friends could go meet up a coffee shop or wherever you like to hang out. I'm sure it would be appreciated, and if not, then you think about whether they are actually worth being called friends.

Take care
~Danica

[Jaegermeister]

I think the summer lull happens a lot, and I'd say try waiting it out. See if things pick up in the fall.

[padresfan]

I have called them, emailed them, etc. but no one has responded to me. I know for a fact that none of my friends are on vacation. I know that they've all hung out together and not invited me. I'm having a very lonely summer.

[FiZzBaW]

Friend,

I'm sorry to hear that you are having a very lonely summer. I am not a super social person, actually my best friend and I have not seen each other much this summer either, we have actually seen each other less than we do during the fall. We both decided to take on full time jobs over the summer. So I have to literally make time to see my family, and don't have much to spare to see my friends.

Perhaps your friends are busy with family/work?

Regardless of the situation, if you really feel that lonely, perhaps you should consider volunteering or getting a job. Both are great ways of meeting new people and socializing. I have made a few new friends at my current job. I'm going part time starting this Monday because class starts on the 20th for me.

-Hope this helps, feel free to contact me if you need to chat.
-FiZz

[padresfan]

I know this is an old thread that I started this past summer, but it is still true now. My friends do not return my messages when I call and leave them, no one visits my dorm room, no one wrties on the whiteboard on my door (mine's the only one on my floor that's always blank), and nobody invites me to do anything or even calls me.

I try to take the initiative to invite and get people together to do something, but no one ever picks up their phone or returns my messages I leave for them. I wish that I didn't have to be doing all the work to try and get ahold of people; I wish that people would think to include me, or call me.

I spend most of my day alone, except for class. I'm so lonely especially on the weekends, when everyone is doing something or hanging out. I try to go to activities or events by myself, but it's hard sometimes to get myself to get up and go.

It's gotten to a point where I just don't know what to do anymore. I just hang out by myself in my room, eat meals by myself, and go to campus events by myself. I'm so lonely even though there's so many people around me.

[Michie]

I think I know where you're coming from.

I have the same problem...though I don't call/email my friends too often to get together, I still message them. And nada.

It makes you feel like they couldn't care less about you. It almost makes you wonder...why are they friends in the first place?

Two thoughts: One...maybe you need to find new people to spend time with. Look in your classes maybe or in the dorms for others, and try to make a connection with them. If the old friends aren't working, maybe you need some new ones?

Two: Talk to your friend(s) and tell him(/them) how you feel. You don't have to talk to all of them. If there's one person in the group you feel closest to and most comfortable talking to, talk to him about what's bothering you. Make your concerns known. Either he'll listen attentively and care, or he'll ignore your feelings.

Hope things get better for you.

[depressed]

I have the same problem. Sometimes I just feel like disappearing, and then again I wonder if anyone would cry for me if I die, so I decided that it would be too embarrassing so I end up bottling it up.