I have recently found my biological father. He lives in California while I'm here in Pennsylvania. I have written him a letter and it's been ten days since I've sent it out. I feel like I'm sitting on pins and needles waiting for a reply but the thing is he's really the root of all my problems from my past. When I was about three he took me into his parents house told them that the heat wasn't working and that when it'd get fixed he'd come get me. He never came back. I fear that this confrontation will just make me realize that he NEVER wanted anything to do with me at all. I can't seem to get this anxiety out of my system. How can I get myself onto calmer grounds and try to relax about this whole situation? I just don't know what to do. I'm so scared and feel so alone I just about to the point where I can't take anymore... Please help...
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#2
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Posted 10 January 2009 - 01:16 PM
This might sound a little harsh but please don't take it that way. Just like you, I had someone(actually 2) walk out of my life and "forgot" to come back for me - though i was about 4 and a half. I reunited with them when I was 15 years old and found out that that was completely NOT the case. They just couldn't under the circumstances. I guess the moral of the story is, you just DON'T know till you hear HIS side of the story. Post from one side of the country to the other can take almost a week. Then you have to think that maybe he got it on a saturday(there is no post on sunday). Then you have to think of the shock he's in. then you also have to take the time to consider the time he's putting into his letter to you(if he writes one) and then another week for it to get to you. Patience. Give it another week and a half or so. If you haven't recieved anything by then, then you have more reason to worry.
#3
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Posted 10 January 2009 - 02:02 PM
Thanks. You have really comforted my thoughts and worries. I know that even though I will continue to most likely wander what it is that seems to be taking so long I know that you are right. I guess I just feel like it's been so long because I am so aprehensive.
#4
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Posted 14 January 2009 - 01:17 PM
I recieved my letter it wasn't anything like I thought it'd be. He actually cares and wants to have a relationship. However I'm still scared...does that make something wrong with me?
#5
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Posted 14 January 2009 - 02:23 PM
No. it's quite normal. Write him back and tell him about your fears. Tell him about yourself and ask him about himself and go from there. :)
#6
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Posted 14 January 2009 - 05:47 PM
He gave me his e-mail address and I sent him an e-mail now all I can do is wait for him to resopond. How can I be so happy and so lost at the same time? When I was looking for him I could think of a thousand things I wanted to ask him but now that I have found him it's like all those questions disappeared. How can I get them back?:confused:
#7
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Posted 14 January 2009 - 07:36 PM
You're happy because yu found him and lost because you dont know whee to go from where you are now. Get the tention out now and then start on a friendship then start on a father daughter bond. It will take a lot of time. Not days, maby not even months. Get the obvious questions you have in your heart out now. when youthink of a question write it down then compose your letter.
#8
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Posted 14 January 2009 - 08:01 PM
Thanks Kit. That is really helpful I will try that.
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