8 replies to this topic

[FranklinF]

What makes you sure you are ready for a child? do you have a steady job? are you still in school? are you certain the father will stay around?

for the others that arent ready what sorts of things do you think will signal that you ready? what do you think is nessacery for a stable family?

[InnocenceLost57]

I think that being financially stable is a definite must. There's no reason to bring a kid into a world where you don't know if you'll be able to afford heat or water or electricity. Also, being sure that you're completely ready to give up pretty much ANY free time for the next 4 or 5 years, at least, until they start school.

[FranklinF]

giving up all free time isnt a must. I actually found out that if ou have nooo free time you will go insane. First hand experience. Make time for yourself, have a baby sitter on speed dial. Don't let yourself get to the point that you are in tears, again first hand experience.

Finacial is a must, you dont have to be rich, but keeping utilities and a roof is a must.

Emotional security is something I think is a must, Don't have a child because you think it will pull you out of depression or because you think you want someone to loe you unconditionally, or what ever fill the void reason you ay have. Yes, children enhance life, but do not use a child as a way to get out of you broken situation.

And in line with that Do not have a child because you think it will be fun. or because you want to keep your boyfriend. or if you don't know why you want a child, we have clocks that go off ever so often, and sometimes the clock thats going off sounds like "i want a child" when really its "i need to do something with my life" go to college if that clock is going off, or take up a new hobby, or volunteer, if that feeling still remains do some more thinking about it but be sure its supposed to be "I want a child"

[Summer08]

Oh, goodness, no, I am not ready for a baby! :)
I do however feel that it is something you have to consider if you are going to be sexually active. I know that sounds like a preachy, pro-abstinence stance, but hear me out. Whether you are 15 or 35, if you are sexually active, there are certain possible consequences to consider. The logical conclusion of having sex is that you may become pregnant. If you do become pregnant and you and your partner are not close enough to discuss the possibility beforehand or you do not agree on options such as adoption/abortion/marriage, it will make your relationship difficult (at the least) and result in a difficult life for an innocent child (at the worst). Also, if you are financially or emotionally unstable and know that you are not able to care for a child, that is even more reason to consider your options BEFORE you have sex.
So I agree, financial stability, emotional stability, relationship stability, physical health.......all of these are important factors to consider when considering if you can raise a child.

[FranklinF]

AHA i toltally forgot about physical health, yep if you are actually planning on getting pregnant see a doctor, make sure you are in a good enough state in your body to have a child,

[lil-foal-DGAF]

Most of those points I agree with. Physically... hmm. I should have NEVER had a baby. I was scrawny, just about tiped over by my 4th month, and my health had been bad for years. I was even told if I ever got pregnant I could die from birth(and I almost did) but Matthew and I wanted a baby. We were finacially stable, are in love, and wanted to complete our lives with a little one. So we did it. I wouldn't recomend that to anyone but I did it. Now... I don't want another one. lol. I have my baby, both my boys(husband and son) and we're happy...even if Ethan has "hold me pains" so bad I want to go psyco at times. lol but we did what's best for US. Others have to think about what's best for THEM.

[candela]

I know im not ready for a child at this moment. I can say that i could raise a child now, if necessary; i mean i make decent money and i raised my cousin, for much of her younger years she thought that i was her mom. I am fairly stable and could reasonably say that yes i am ready. That being said i would not have a child right now. I am in college, i am really busy and I would not want to work after having a baby. This isnt something i really worry about in the sense of am i going to get pregnant, I actually am afraid that i won't ever have kids :(. Because there are ways to have sex with no chance of getting pregnant; its called homosexuality lol.

[CausticTears]

I'm not ready for a kid right now. Maybe in a few years, I'll be ready. I definitely want children, tho (I want two or three). Sometimes, I wish I had a baby right this moment... but I know that's irrational.

I'm in school trying to get my degree, not emotionally ready, and single... so yeah aha... in a few years perhaps. I really look forward to having little Dolly's running around, tho =P

[Lena]

In order to consider planning for a child I would have to be in a stable long term relationship or (ideally) marriage with a partner who shares my basic views on raising children. My partner and I would have be ready emotionally, physically and financially.
On a financial note: providing for children is only as expensive as you make it, but I feel that if you are planning for a child you need to be able to provide for at least the basic needs (including healthcare for baby and mother) without struggling.

Take care,

Lena.