13 replies to this topic

[Spitfire]

What do you guys think? Do you think people are either born straight, gay/les, or bi?

Do you think it's developed from learned behaviors only?

Do you think it's some of each?


Personally I think its more of a learned behavior. Somebody who grows up in a gay or lesbian accepting community would be more open to the option, and might consider it at times a straight only community wouldn't. I think that there are probably many people who would be gay or bi in a different situation and never even see that part of themselves.

[FranklinF]

i think its both, but i lean more towards being born that way, not nessacerily genetics, but its just the way the person is.

[Fishhead]

I dunno that I really agree with it being a learned behavior. I spent my life from age 5ish until now growing up in very conservative parts of Texas, with parents who think being gay is "weird, or unnatural". Yet look how I turned out :P I suppose its a combination of the two, but I've always felt that its just the way I am, regardless of what my parents would like or raised me as.

[Seirei]

I personally think it's more of a learned behavior. And that people choose to be gay rather than born with it but I don't really know and it's not something I can be completely sure of.

[Fishhead]

Why do you believe people choose to be gay? I'm not trying to start a fight, just curious.

[FranklinF]

i am also not trying to start a fight, but why would someone "choose" to be gay? i mean its much harder than being strait for most people, and most of society is against it, i mean it just doesnt seem like many people would choose to go the harder route

[lil-foal-DGAF]

Yes and no. Back in the old day when "no one was gay" - I doubt was a learned behavior. Now adays? I think it is more of a learned behavior. There is an increasing number of gay/bi yearly. Even if one grew up where it is condemed to be gay so you rarely see someone who is - there is still the TV, internet/friend.

[nirvana]

People don't choose to be gay... they just are.
I think what we're seeing is not more gay people, but more openly gay people. People would have squashed their feelings before, for fear of being condemned for them. However, now it is perfectly fine for someone to be gay.
I don't think you need to understand attraction, it's like asking me why I like guys with brown hair, is that heraditary? Or is it a learned behaviour? Neither... it's just the way I am.

[Markypants]

I don't think people choose to be gay.
I believe they are born that way.
I didn't grow up around gay or bisexual people, and i'm bisexual.

[BriannasGirl]

I really don't think I choose to be gay. I have always liked girls, even when I was too little to know what it really was I was always attracted to girls and has my little school girl crushes on the other girls. I hate when people say it is a learned thing, as if it is something that could be changed. I lost friends because I am gay, and when my girlfriend came out she was kicked out of her house. It is something you choose. Why would someone choose to be something that some other people hated, why would someone choose to get beat up and picked on, why would someone choose to be a second class citizen with not nearly as many rights. It just wouldn't make any sense to choose to be gay. so yeah, i deifinitely think you are born that way. I risked losing friends, family and my home because I am gay. Trust me if it was something I could have choose I wouldn't have choosen to be gay. I am not saying I don't want to be, because even though it took sometime I have come to terms with it and have learned to love myself and I wouldn't change myself for anything. But there is no choosing in your sexuality, any gay person would tell you that.

[lil-foal-DGAF]

I have met soooo many people who go around claiming to be BI or Les or Gay and when someone (Not me, I'm not stupid enough to ask something like this) asks "well... why are you gay" and 7/10 times you'll hear "well... my friend says he/she is and so I wanted to try it out and and I like it" then see them a couple years later and sometimes (not all the time) hear "Well, I changed my mind" or "it wasn't for me." Granite - I know a lot of people who I know had to of been born that way cause I was raised with them and I've seen them be attracted to the same sex since elementry but I also know several who chose to be that way(even if it was just for a short time or a long time) because of friends.

[Cindy]

I've seen both.

I've seen people that from the time they were able to talk you could tell they would be gay (My neighbor growing up). I Myself (I am Bi) was a learned behavior (Because of my neighbor growing up).

When playing with my female neighbor growing up, she was ALWAYS playing the male. I mean she would ALWAYS go out of her way to be the dad of the house, or the "boyfriend" or just the guy from across the street. She just was NEVER a woman when we played. She is now in a very happy relationship with another woman, and yes she is butch.

I learned from her that it was OK to think that women were beautiful from very early on. She was my first kiss, make-out and who knows what I don't remember. Between her and not really knowing that it was "wrong" to like someone of the same sex, I grew to enjoy men and women alike. It wasn't until High school that I really found out what "gay" was and by that time I was like "OH! Now it all makes sense" (I was a very sheltered child in a very small school). I also learned at that point it was "ok" but yet "wasn't" so I always was careful who I told. I can honestly see myself with either a man or woman. I develop crushes on both, but stick to men because well, men have something I enjoy more and I haven't found a woman that I would be interested in being in a relationship with that wasn't completely straight.

So yes, I believe it is both learned and born with.

[candela]

I believe that it depends on the person based on science, I can understand why some people could be genetically or hormonally geared to be attracted to the same sex. I also see how someone who is not genetically or hormonally geared this way could turn towards it due to psychological reasons or pressure. I don't mean to make this sound ignorant or anything. I mean I am at the very least bi and would probably be more accurately considered a lesbian as i have no patience for boys, but I wonder myself if it is genetic or other, because for me personally i was not attracted to anyone until I was like 17.

[Ruth]

I personally believe (and I'm not trying to start any fights) that everyone is born bi...however, some people tend to be more straight or gay. I know people who have been gay then met someone of the opposite sex who they are sexually attracted to...or vice versa.
I also believe you're born as you are.