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Weird situation


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#1 helena

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Posted 10 June 2009 - 01:09 PM

Well, I have been sleeping with this guy as friends for benefits for about two months. We ended it once about a month ago but we've started up again about two weeks ago. I told him I didn't want a relationship, which is sort of a lie. He sort of knows this.

I've also signed up on a dating site that he was on and I've gone on several dates with guys. He asked me if I liked this one guy a lot and I said that he seems like a nice guy (I went on two dates with him, not going to decide whether or not I am going to be in a relationship based off of that.)

So then somehow we were talking about sex and I mentioned that I miss the physical aspect of a relationship like cuddling. So a few days ago I went to the guy's apartment because I was bored. We did have sex and he was cuddling with me afterwards. Plus when I was sleeping he kept on putting his feet on mine or pressing up against my back. At one point he put his arm over my shoulder.

Like he's never slept like that before. Usually he's on his side of the bed, but he was on the side I was sleeping on.

I just don't know how to read him.

#2 OverDrive

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Posted 10 June 2009 - 02:47 PM

Well are you wanting a relationship with him? because you mention that you lied about not wanting a relationship..... or did you want a relationship with someone else, and not him?

Perhaps he's feeling like he wants to have a relationship with you, and is trying to woo you.

#3 helena

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Posted 10 June 2009 - 06:04 PM

Well, I don't know what he thinks right now. He's very secretive. I wouldn't mind dating him, but I don't know if it would work out because we do work together.

I don't think I could trust him anyway. We have a friends with benefits situation going on. He's probably had a similar situation dozens of times before. Plus he ended up with hickies on his neck about two or three weeks ago, hence why we were going to stop because I didn't really trust him.

Like I think it's more jealously than anything else. He knows about the other guys I was looking at and he realized I wasn't as into him as he thought?

He also didn't know I was awake when he put his arm around me. I don't know if he was awake though. He kept on rolling around.

#4 Spitfire

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Posted 11 June 2009 - 10:49 PM

The way I read this guy I think he just wants to have "options" if you know what I mean. I think that he's just afraid you won't be available to satisfy his needs when his needs need satisfying. If you really want to know what he's thinking, ask him! It could lead to a relationship, or it could lead to a better alternative all together.

#5 helena

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Posted 15 June 2009 - 11:50 PM

Like he seems to be working on showing some affection because I told him that I need physical validation beyond sex in a relationship and that's partially why I was attracted to this one guy. Like he was abused as a child and his first love gave him crap for being too physical so that 's partially why he doesn't show physical affection apparently.

He's trying to make an attempt, I think. Like I think he was trying to kiss me the other day during sex and afterwards we did cuddle.

#6 Shy

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Posted 01 August 2009 - 07:26 PM

best thing in a situation like this is to speak to him. Sure it can seem as if he wants a relationship 'cause he listened to wat u said and followed through on it, but at the same time it all depends on wat kind of a guy he is. If he's the nice guy type then yea he'll def. cuddle w/ u and hug u because he wants to make u happy, so the reason for him doing what he did that night was nothing more than wanting to make u feel happy; but if he's the a$$hole type/don't care type of guy and he did that, then yes it can def. b read as he wants to show u that he has some interest in u and is unable to express it verbally, and thus he listened to u and followed through on it.

So my suggestion, just simply ask him y he did that. But don't have a tone as if ur mad at him for wat he did.

Hope that made sense, i tried to type as fast as my mind is thinking but it's a bit hard lol.


**wow didn't realize how old this post was, but i'll leave my comment on in case it benefits anyone else.**

Edited by Shy, 01 August 2009 - 07:29 PM.


#7 iHEAVENn

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Posted 03 August 2009 - 04:44 PM

Why don't you just ask him where he wants this friends with benefits thing to go?
That way if he says he just wants to be friends and still have the benefits you know to look else where for your relationship needs.





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