I've been dating my bf for 9 months and we moved in together almost 2 months ago ever since we moved in together we have been fighting alot. . .its to the point where he is thinking about moving out. . i love him so much i dont want him to move out. . last night was the biggest fight we've ever had and when he left for work this mornig he didnt even say bye and i text him asking why then he called and told me that he is moving out and i of course start crying then he hangs up on me and text me and says we will talk later not 2 worry. . then he text me a lil while ago saying that i like he is dumb and im wrong that its all good. . i dont kno wat 2 do. .
the fights start because he takes of and goes places but im not aloud 2 cuz he thinks im cheating. and i dont trust him cuz he has a history of cheating and i also dont like his life style . . but i love him more then anything and i just dont kno wat to do. . and i also might be pregnant with his baby. . . i tried 2 talk 2 him about that 2 and of course he says that its probably sumone elses . . i havent been with anyone else since i met him becuase in my heart i feel he is the one
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Posted 27 August 2009 - 09:59 PM
There is 2 things that a relationship needs in order to survive, trust and communication. Without these two things, a relationship is destined to fail.
You have two choices, Go see a relationship councilor or figure out a way to talk to each other. My boyfriend and I also have horrible communication issues. It's to the point where if I even start talking to him about an issue he'll blow up instantly and leave. I found writing out a LONG note and leaving it for him works wonders and conveying the message in not a nagging way but in a way he can understand. Guys do not like to be nagged at and even though you may not be in your mind, he may take it as that.
If he isn't willing to put 110% in to the relationship, then it will fail. You can't be throwing yourself into it and he is just walking away. He needs to want to fix things as much as you do otherwise your not moving anywhere.
As for the baby, you need to find out for sure that you are pregnant and then save up now for a paternity test otherwise he will claim it's not his because the trust has been broken. Just because you know, doesn't mean he doesn't.
Honestly In your case it seems he doesn't want to be in the relationship at all, and that should be a warning flag. If he doesn't want to be there, then no amount you do will keep him. I learned that the hard way. There is no "if you follow these steps your relationship will be saved" I wish there was. Work on communication (even if it means writing notes to him) and you both need to work on your trust issues which mean no hiding ANYTHING from each other. You can check up on him at any time, anywhere and the same to him. All passwords, cellphones, and such are passed off to each other and nothing is hidden anymore.
Good luck.
You have two choices, Go see a relationship councilor or figure out a way to talk to each other. My boyfriend and I also have horrible communication issues. It's to the point where if I even start talking to him about an issue he'll blow up instantly and leave. I found writing out a LONG note and leaving it for him works wonders and conveying the message in not a nagging way but in a way he can understand. Guys do not like to be nagged at and even though you may not be in your mind, he may take it as that.
If he isn't willing to put 110% in to the relationship, then it will fail. You can't be throwing yourself into it and he is just walking away. He needs to want to fix things as much as you do otherwise your not moving anywhere.
As for the baby, you need to find out for sure that you are pregnant and then save up now for a paternity test otherwise he will claim it's not his because the trust has been broken. Just because you know, doesn't mean he doesn't.
Honestly In your case it seems he doesn't want to be in the relationship at all, and that should be a warning flag. If he doesn't want to be there, then no amount you do will keep him. I learned that the hard way. There is no "if you follow these steps your relationship will be saved" I wish there was. Work on communication (even if it means writing notes to him) and you both need to work on your trust issues which mean no hiding ANYTHING from each other. You can check up on him at any time, anywhere and the same to him. All passwords, cellphones, and such are passed off to each other and nothing is hidden anymore.
Good luck.
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