Ok, I have a really messed up situation right now...it's so stupid and degrading that sometimes I can't bare to even think about what it is I do.
I have been playing an online MMORPG for a good 5 years now on and off. I am not a nerd or anything, I'm very popular in school, and I DEFINITELY like a lot of girls at my school.
But I have a sick problem-I am attacted to girls in the MMORPG. I think this problem started maybe 1 or 2 years ago, but it has really had an effect on how I play the game.
It started with me feeling very horny one night, and I was at "house parties". I found someone hosting a "dating party" at their house, so feeling curious (curiosity kills the cat) I decided to go. Well, after a while, I found a girl, and we went back to my house on the game, and we eventually got around to cyber sex... And for a while I was HOOKED. I could not do anything else on the game besides cyber sex. After many weeks, or maybe months, I got off of it. I soon trained myself to only do it frequently, then a little, and soon I was off. However, it has had a major impact on how I look at the game. Depending on how horny I am, I will be attracted to female human players, or if their names are raunchy.
Fast-forward through the years of a little bit of cyber-sex. I would go on and off, maybe once every 3 months or so. For a while I was clean. I had no drive to cyber sex, and I could still play the game. Fast-forward to today's standards, and I just jacked off a few hours ago. I really hate this because every time I do this, and I want to be clean FOR GOOD, I can have to get back to my normal game business or whatever I was working on.
I have been kicked from several clans for inactivity, because at one point the only reason I would play the game is to get that one drive in, then I would just logout and continue my normal life.
Nobody has EVER found out about this. Parents, friends, school-mates, no one. If anyone found out I did this I think my reputation would be over...
So can anybody offer me any advice? I really need help here because:
1.I want to be able to play the game again without being sidetracked from my work and having cyber sex
2.I always feel dirty and scummy after I am done masturbating
3.I feel like such a loser on the inside after I do masturbate to the game
4.It has really affected how I play the game and the hours wasted looking for a "date" (probably a majority of the girls were ugly, or some may have even been guys...which I cringe to think of....) I could have used for something else.
So please someone give me advice I know it's long but I really want to rid of this horrible addiction!
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4 replies to this topic
#2
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Posted 02 April 2011 - 03:39 PM
I think many or some people can relate to this type of situation or plainly just cyber sex. Since it is taboo, it's hard to realize many people engage in cyber sex online. It is not a bad thing... we're all sexual human beings. Try to think of cyber sex or just masturbation as a normal activity to release sexual tension, cause well that is what it is.
If it truly bothers you still, try to think of what made you want to play those games in the first place. At first, you were not playing for cyber sex, right? You were playing for different reasons. Maybe you could try concentrating on those reasons and try playing again and if you feel like sometimes you want to go into those "dating" parties, then maybe time to time you will allow yourself. Anywho, what Im trying to say here is maybe the restriction is what is making you want more of it and maybe because you think it is so wrong that you feel so dirty and feel like you need to stop.
Hope that helps somewhat
If it truly bothers you still, try to think of what made you want to play those games in the first place. At first, you were not playing for cyber sex, right? You were playing for different reasons. Maybe you could try concentrating on those reasons and try playing again and if you feel like sometimes you want to go into those "dating" parties, then maybe time to time you will allow yourself. Anywho, what Im trying to say here is maybe the restriction is what is making you want more of it and maybe because you think it is so wrong that you feel so dirty and feel like you need to stop.
Hope that helps somewhat
#3
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Posted 03 April 2011 - 12:42 AM
Hello PVT Poptarts,
I understand how that makes you feel horrible. But here is what i think, like CausticTears said, we are all sexual human beings, so the thing is, yes you might be popular and you like alot of girls, but you don't have a girlfriend, at least you didn't mention that, so if i'm correct, you don't have one, so you don't have sex with anyone, even if not a girlfriend, you also didn't mention that, and please do correct me if I'm wrong. So maybe you want to have sex, so that's the only available option for you, but if you did have sex with someone, it would satisfy you enough and you wouldn't want to masterbuate anymore.
I could tell you not to play the game anymore, and to just get rid of it, but that's taking the easy road, and that's not going to help you get rid of the addiction, but simply to run away from it. So you have to try really hard, and it's going to take alot of effort, but the thing is that you give in to the feeling and you do it, you don't fight, you just give in because you think, the feeling is good and it will relieve me and satisfy me, but that's only what you think before you do it and when you really want to do, so the next time you think that, think of how you feel afterwards, how it's not really going to satisfy you, but instead it will make you feel worse and disgusted of yourself, and try to look at the game in a different way, you get too indulged in the game, that it becomes real to you, but look at it from outside, from a larger angle, that it's just a game, which was meant to be played for fun and by kids, and that this is how you use it, so see it sounds bad. Think, what am I doing, these aren't real people.
And everytime you play it and think of masturbating, try to think of something, or space out, like think of something while playing the game, or keep fighting it, the feeling, and never let in, because if you keep fighting one time after the other, the feeling will soon go away.
Please feel free to reply back if you'd like to discuss this further. Here on the website, everyone is here for you, and we will get back to you right away.
Oh and also, this all started off because you started playing the game by having cyber sex with a girl, that girl who you took home. So maybe the thing is not about the people in the game, you understand me? Proving my point, that you want to have sex with someone, and that day, that girl was there, but then the other times you played, you were alone, and you didn't have any other option. And I'm sure that the first time you had cybersex with that girl, you didn't feel bad afterwards, because you had someone with you, so maybe you just have to have someone with you, so it would feel normal.
I understand how that makes you feel horrible. But here is what i think, like CausticTears said, we are all sexual human beings, so the thing is, yes you might be popular and you like alot of girls, but you don't have a girlfriend, at least you didn't mention that, so if i'm correct, you don't have one, so you don't have sex with anyone, even if not a girlfriend, you also didn't mention that, and please do correct me if I'm wrong. So maybe you want to have sex, so that's the only available option for you, but if you did have sex with someone, it would satisfy you enough and you wouldn't want to masterbuate anymore.
I could tell you not to play the game anymore, and to just get rid of it, but that's taking the easy road, and that's not going to help you get rid of the addiction, but simply to run away from it. So you have to try really hard, and it's going to take alot of effort, but the thing is that you give in to the feeling and you do it, you don't fight, you just give in because you think, the feeling is good and it will relieve me and satisfy me, but that's only what you think before you do it and when you really want to do, so the next time you think that, think of how you feel afterwards, how it's not really going to satisfy you, but instead it will make you feel worse and disgusted of yourself, and try to look at the game in a different way, you get too indulged in the game, that it becomes real to you, but look at it from outside, from a larger angle, that it's just a game, which was meant to be played for fun and by kids, and that this is how you use it, so see it sounds bad. Think, what am I doing, these aren't real people.
And everytime you play it and think of masturbating, try to think of something, or space out, like think of something while playing the game, or keep fighting it, the feeling, and never let in, because if you keep fighting one time after the other, the feeling will soon go away.
Please feel free to reply back if you'd like to discuss this further. Here on the website, everyone is here for you, and we will get back to you right away.
Oh and also, this all started off because you started playing the game by having cyber sex with a girl, that girl who you took home. So maybe the thing is not about the people in the game, you understand me? Proving my point, that you want to have sex with someone, and that day, that girl was there, but then the other times you played, you were alone, and you didn't have any other option. And I'm sure that the first time you had cybersex with that girl, you didn't feel bad afterwards, because you had someone with you, so maybe you just have to have someone with you, so it would feel normal.
#4
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Dedicated
Posted 03 April 2011 - 09:42 AM
Thanks for the replies.
I just want to clarify that no I have never had a gf before and no I haven't had sex yet (actually I'm still too young to). But anyways, I'll try and do some of the things that you guys said to try and solve the problem. I think you guys are right in saying that I am only doing this because I am trying to fill in that gap of having no one to be with.
Thanks a lot, and I'll post my progress in the future
I just want to clarify that no I have never had a gf before and no I haven't had sex yet (actually I'm still too young to). But anyways, I'll try and do some of the things that you guys said to try and solve the problem. I think you guys are right in saying that I am only doing this because I am trying to fill in that gap of having no one to be with.
Thanks a lot, and I'll post my progress in the future
#5
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Loyal
Posted 05 April 2011 - 10:00 AM
Never too late for more input.
I know alot of people that go through what you are, i myself go through it with my own "MMO", its not a game but i dont want to say what it is cause if might procure another attraction for others. Like others have said, we are human. There arent really any law or rules on attraction, with the exception to physics, we like what we like. Doing things in moderation is key to anything in life. Although this is pretty much a repeat of what was already said i still hope that you find it helpful.
1. For me with my "MMO", theres a wide varity /category, as im sure there's a wide varity of rooms in the MMORPG that you play, try to focus more on the ones that make you enjoy playing the MMO.
2 & 3. The feeling that you may experience may or may not go away. You can either accept it or leave it, the choice is up to you.
4. Whats in the past is in the past, we are here and now dont get lost in the past just correct it in the future.
I know alot of people that go through what you are, i myself go through it with my own "MMO", its not a game but i dont want to say what it is cause if might procure another attraction for others. Like others have said, we are human. There arent really any law or rules on attraction, with the exception to physics, we like what we like. Doing things in moderation is key to anything in life. Although this is pretty much a repeat of what was already said i still hope that you find it helpful.
1. For me with my "MMO", theres a wide varity /category, as im sure there's a wide varity of rooms in the MMORPG that you play, try to focus more on the ones that make you enjoy playing the MMO.
2 & 3. The feeling that you may experience may or may not go away. You can either accept it or leave it, the choice is up to you.
4. Whats in the past is in the past, we are here and now dont get lost in the past just correct it in the future.
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