32 replies to this topic

[PVT Poptarts]

Ok, so I have been interested in this girl for a while, and she in me, so I was planning on asking her out. She lives like 30 minutes away from me though, and I am wondering- Would a movie be a good first-date idea or would that be a bad way to start?

Another thing I was wondering is if it is a good idea to double-date a movie on a first date? I really don't know but someone please respond quick because I have not made the move yet and fear if I wait for much longer to ask her she will either be interested in someone else or just lost interest all together.

Edited by PVT Poptarts, 09 April 2011 - 09:34 AM.

[AlaaAbuali]

Hey,
I think that a movie sounds like a fine idea, there is nothing wrong with seeing a movie together on your first date, and it's also good because you're in this stage where you're not sure that she's into you, I mean, you might be sure like 80%, but not a 100% , so the movie idea is something in between going out as friends and by being friends, getting to know each other more, and at the same time, it's a date where you can express your feelings and see if you feel the same way about each other, and if you really do like each other that way. So it's a good idea. BUT a double date doesn't really sound like a good idea, because double dating usual has some means of comparison between the two couples, like who's the best couple and how close each couple are and so on, so usually double dates are when you've been together for a long time, but since it's your first date, then you should be together alone, and you could get to know each other more, and be comfortable with each other.

Please feel free to reply back if you'd like to discuss this further, or if you have any more questions about this, and I'll get back to you right away.

[navynate]

Yes and No at the same time. Meaning how much do you want to get to know her. I say you can go to the movie to get the shyness or the butterflies out yor stomach and then maybe go for a walk and actually talk. Just movies i wouldnt do that, im sure you can think of something creative to go along with the movies. Meaning find something to do that would let you two interact with each other. Nothing too big though dont want to go all out on the first date or anything.

[PVT Poptarts]

Ok, I see your point about the double date, thanks for the advice.

But there really isn't anywhere I can walk with her, and I can't drive so...it would be hard for us to go to dinner afterwards or something. So would just a movie be good and then maybe hook up with after according to how it goes?

[navynate]

PVT Poptarts, on 10 April 2011 - 08:11 PM, said:

Ok, I see your point about the double date, thanks for the advice.

But there really isn't anywhere I can walk with her, and I can't drive so...it would be hard for us to go to dinner afterwards or something. So would just a movie be good and then maybe hook up with after according to how it goes?

Movies is good, if its near the mall just go walk through the mall before or after im sure there will be some good chatter between the 2 of you.

[PVT Poptarts]

Ok, there is in fact a mall nearby, so maybe go to the mall first hand and then see the movie? By the way, it will be difficult for me to ask her out in person because I only have 2 classes with her, lunch, and maybe I see her at her locker sometimes. There is no real time when it's just the two of us. So would it be a good idea to ask her out on Facebook?

I have heard this is a bad approach because it makes you seem unconfident.

[AlaaAbuali]

I don't think that facebook is a good idea, it doesn't seem like your serious about it, or about her if you tell her on facebook, it's not a good thing. You may not see her alot, but you still do, in lunch and at the lockers sometimes, so ask her sometime then. I know that your shy, or that your afraid of rejection, so that's why you don't want to tell her in person, but in person is exactly how you should tell her, and by the way, she'll be feeling shy too, but that's the way it should happen. Also, it could give you a chance to talk to her, and see her response and reaction face to face, it's much different than facebook, you know what I mean?

[PVT Poptarts]

Ok, I understand, and thanks for the quick reply. I'll try asking her maybe today, as I am hoping to get the date this Friday.

[navynate]

I agree with AlaaAbuali, in person is the way to go everytime. Oh and dont be afraid of rejection, it only builds character Good luck, hope she says yes!

[AlaaAbuali]

Feel free to share with us what happened, and if you need more help or questions about the date and we'll get back to you right away. Goodluck!

[PVT Poptarts]

Ugh, I chickened out at the last second. I was walking into lunch with my friends and I saw that she was alone waiting for her group to come in, so I decided to walk by and ask her out. But I was so nervous by the time I walked over to her. There she was, looking up at me and all I could say was "Hey" followed by her name. She smiled back and said hi too...but I think she was half hoping I would ask her out then and there. I tried to find opportunities later on in the day, but I coulden't catch her long enough to ask her out.

Of course, I will try tomorrow, but each day I chicken out, the less she will be interested in me. I am planning on trying tomorrow, but would it be ok for me to send her a hint over Facebook? Like, "I have something important to tell you tomorrow", or something like that? Or would that just creep her out? As I said before, we haven't talked much, so the date is the way for me to get to know her better.


Also, can anyone give me some tips on how to be a little more courageous? She is just so attractive to me and this is the first girl I've ever planned on asking out. Just the thought of me saying the words "Would you like to go out with me" is very nerve-wrecking for me .

[navynate]

PVT Poptarts, on 11 April 2011 - 03:03 PM, said:

Also, can anyone give me some tips on how to be a little more courageous?

Just gotta get out there and do it, only way to break out of shyness is to go out and talk to people of both gender, no matter how beautiful...

heres something you can try, "Hey [insert name] what are you doing {insert day}... Well i was wondering if you wanted to go {insert whatever it is you want to do}..."

So finished product....
ME: Hey Roxi, what are you doing Friday?
HER: Nothin
ME: Want to go see thor?


But word it however you want.

"Dont put off for tomorrow, what you can do today"

Oh and no hints. usual response to that is an awkward "ook" (speaking from experience there.

[AlaaAbuali]

Hey, Okay I understand how you feel, and how it's really hard to do it, and there isn't really any tips on how to be more courageous, or even if I try to boost your confidence right now, it will just drop down to zero again the moment you see her, and there is nothing wrong with that, we are all humans, and its natural, to feel shy and to have low self confidence especially in these situations. But let me tell you, that the first time is always the hardest time, and there is no easy way to do it, you just have to say it, just say it and let it out, and you will feel so relieved once its out there, even if you'll be feeling really really shy at the moment you say it, and like your face will go red and you'll have sweaty palms, its all natural, because by the way, she'll be really shy too, and it'll be an awkward moment for the both of you, not just you alone.
The thing about dropping a hint on facebook, is that it will just add more pressure on to you, is that she will be expecting you to tell her something the next day, so you won't be able to chicken out, so you'll put yourself in the spot. It's actually a good thing at the same time, because it'll force you to say it, especially if she comes up to you, and asks you what is it that you wanted to tell her, but if she doesn't come up to you, and you see her and you don't tell her, she'll think that it's kind of freaky and not manly that you told her that you wanted to tell her something, but you didn't have the courage to come up and say it, or that your playing around with her or something.
So I think you shouldn't pressure yourself and don't tell her on facebook, but the next time you see her, go up to her, and talk to her and ask her out, just say ' would you like to hang out sometime, do something, maybe catch a movie' make it sound as a casual date, like something friends do but at the same time you're asking her out, so it would ease the pressure off the both of you. And when you approach her, think that it's going to be really hard just that first time, but then you'll get used to it, you'll actually find that it'll be much much better than how you thought it would be, although it might sound to you at first like a bunch of nerves, and babbling and that you'll feel like you said the wrong thing, but it'll be fine, I promise,and that if you ever want to be anything with her or know her, or make yourself known to her, then you have to make that move. And it makes it better that you know that a part of her expects and wants you to ask her out, so she feels the same way.

[PVT Poptarts]

Ok, thank you so much for all the advice. I really can't tell you how difficult it is to make the move, but I am going to try tomorrow. And I am really really going to try and just get it out. Thanks so much and I'll post my progress.

[PVT Poptarts]

Back again. I still didn't ask her out...today I didn't have too many opportunities, but at the end of the day I saw her at her locker, but chickened out anyways...

Like always, I'll try again tomorrow, but the whole day I was just so nervous and had butterflies like crazy. I am so pissed off with myself though because I can tell she really likes me. I caught her in my English class stretching and giving me the "attracted look".

But I still have an enormous difficulty actually making the move. One of the problems is I am self-concious about what other people think when they see me talking to her, because some kids already know I like her.

But nonetheless, I will keep trying, I just hope in the end I really can muster up the courage to do this. It really is difficult for me =/.

[PVT Poptarts]

Ok, so the past few days I've basically been building up the courage. Today, end of the day, I finally felt like I could do it, I walked straight over to her locker but she wasn't there.

Now the only way I can really do this is if I ask her over Facebook, because asking her tomorrow in school is not a good idea.

However, I think one of the reasons why I was so "ready" to ask her in person today is because I talked to her a little more than usual today. Another reason is because the whole day was just her and her friends looking at me in the halls and giggling when I walked by, or I could hear one of the boyfriends of her friend arguing with her to just let him ask me out for her.


But nonetheless, I think if I ask her out on Facebook it will atleast be a little more private. Sure it may make me seem unconfident, but I can always show her how confident I am later on, right?

And besides, all I needed was more time to get to know her, but I have already spent enough time giving her googly eyes across the class, I have to make the move or else she wont be interested.

And all the other times I saw her today, she was with friends, I woulden't want to ask her out in front of other people, now would I?

Edited by PVT Poptarts, 14 April 2011 - 02:29 PM.

[AlaaAbuali]

Okay I agree with you, ask her out on facebook. I wanted to give you a chance first to try and do it the right way, the better way and ask her in person, but facebook will do It was never about the idea that facebook is a bad way of asking her out, but it was to give you the chance to be courageous and and have the ability to do it face to face, to break the ice between you, and be able to talk to her, because you can't always depend on facebook to hide behind your computer screen and let out everything you feel, you must learn to do it directly, because you can't ask out every girl you like over facebook, you understand what I mean? There has to come a time where you can learn to do it directly, and I just wanted this time to be earlier for you, than later. But there is no problem if you can't do it. Keep me updated

[PVT Poptarts]

Actually, I've been having seconds thoughts about this.

Let me tell you what I think:

On one hand, if I just talk to her over Facebook, it may be a good way to leave off on a good foot, then maybe I can take the chance tomorrow and ask her out.

On another hand, there is no way I can tell if she's busy that night or not...unless I ask her "Do you have any plans for tomorrow night"? But to ask that over the chat and not follow with the "Do you wanna see a movie with me" is just plain stupid in my opinion, because it will seem like I'm playing around with her, which I really would never think of doing.

However, if I DO ask her out over Facebook, I have no idea what the consequences may be. It will come off as being incredibily shy and timid, and truth be told it will probably be a turn off.

But I just don't know if I should take the risk to wait until tomorrow. It is not a good idea to ask her out on a date the same day, she needs to have her time just to think about it, I definitely don't want to rush it.

And after ALL that there is still another angle. If I just talk to her a little bit more than usual, it may buy me some more time to wait until next weekend, but idk, I really want to make the move for THIS Friday night.

Please someone give me your best advice on this one! Thanks in advance!

[PVT Poptarts]

Ok, I just had an idea.

What happens if I asked her out on Facebook, but worded it something like this in mid-chat:

"Hey, I tried to ask you today in school to see if you wanted to go to the movies tomorrow night, but I coulden't seem to catch you, so I was wondering if you did want to go?"

Because quite honestly, I did try and ask her, I just got cold feet. And the only reason that happened was because, in my opinion, I have not talked to her much at all, so I was pretty much talking to someone I knew nothing about.

[PVT Poptarts]

Or I can ask her tomorrow for Saturday? But honestly I would atleast like to try my idea first.