How Stupid Can I Be?

[lil_angel_lover]

<span style='font-family:Impact'Okay, so my school counselor and I have become great friends. And I go to her about my problems cuz I can trust her. Well, I went to her wed. And I talked to her a little bit. And for a minute I just forgot where I was, and I was thinking somthing in my head. I was thinking how I could put, 'sometimes I wish I could just die.' in words. Because after my parents have their spells thats how I feel. Well while I was thinking it, I forgot I was talking to my school counselor, and I said it out loud. Then she said, "How are you going about doing that." And I just feel so stupid. And I just want to know if you guys have any idea what she would've done that could've posessed me to say that. And if you have any idea how I could just stop thinking of her as a friend? Because if that came out, who know's what else will come out.

I hope this makes sense.

[four]

Maybe you subconsiously wanted to tell someone that in real life?

[Soul]

I agree with four..maybe thats what you really wanted to say...





Hmm..

[lil_angel_lover]

I don't know, maybe I did. So do you have any ideas how I can stop thinking of her as a friend, so that I can prevent that?

[She]

What's wrong with having her as a friend? If she's someone you can trust, why not? You can never have too many friends and sometimes they're in the most unlikely places. I can understand why it freaked you out, but maybe just explain you didn't mean it like that and whatnot. If she's a trustable person you may as well trust her. And if you don't want to--well, then I guess stop going there so often. The less you see her the less opertunity you have to think of her as a friend.

[lil_angel_lover]

See the thing is though, I do actually feel suicidal when I feel like that after my parents spells, I think about other people though to help me.

I just wonder how that rapport got there, and how to break it a little so I don't start saying things against my will. I mean I really enjoy having her as a friend, and a trusted authority figure, there's just a fine line for me when I open up to much. And that's what I did in her office. How many people do you know would openly admit that to a counselor without wanting attention?

She may of thought I wanted attention......I feel so stupid about that too.

[kellbell]

Originally posted by She@Sep 28 2003, 07:28 PM

What's wrong with having her as a friend? If she's someone you can trust, why not? You can never have too many friends and sometimes they're in the most unlikely places. I can understand why it freaked you out, but maybe just explain you didn't mean it like that and whatnot. If she's a trustable person you may as well trust her. And if you don't want to--well, then I guess stop going there so often. The less you see her the less opertunity you have to think of her as a friend.

I completly agree and i think a school counselor is an awesome friend to have, becausei talk to mine a lot to. i like them tbecause you can trust them and they are like free phycologists almost, they know how to council. I also agree that you wanted to get that out. It is normal that when you have a feeling as much as you say you want to keep it up inside, you dont want to feel like that andyou want help. I congradulate you for talking to someone and letting it slip out. most people would never even dream of having the couage to do what you do.

[lil_angel_lover]

I didn't mean for it to slip out. That was the last thing from my mind that I wanted to tell her about. It just happened, and I didn't notice until to late. I'm STUPID, STUPID, STUPID. Or at least what ever possessed me to say that is.

[PurplePoemPuppet]

I don't think it was stupid at all. If you have a friendly relationship with her and she knows you well enough, it's very doubtful she thought you were just seeking attention. And I think that if it was the last thing you wanted to tell her, you wouldn't have. Whether you are thinking that consciously you were focusing on not telling her that, subconsciously you may have really been needing and/or wanting to. WHo knows, I have no idea how you would be able to prevent it... if you consider her to be a friend, let her be one. If something slips out, it happens and there's really no way to prevent it for the future... it'll happen whether or not you think you want it to or not.

[lil_angel_lover]

Okay, well I was just wondering, because it really freaked me out. I still can't believe it. She hasn't pulled me out of class yet though, so I'm okay. Thanx all for the help. If you have any other input I'll gladly take it.

[Laurna]

Everything you just said, maybe you should retell to your councler. See what she has to say on the matter. Maybe you're coming from the wrong angle and you need her opinion.



Do anything that YOU think may help.

[CuteLilChk]

I think you needed to tell someone that. If you really mean it, maybe you needed to tell her so you can get help.

[shay14]

I think that it came out because you think of her as your friend not your councler. I don't know how you can stop thinking about her like that... sorry.

[lil_angel_lover]

Tell my counselor everything I just said, which would be that I didn't mean for that to slip out? Or what do you mean by that.



I know I needed to tell somebody, and I was debating on whether or not to tell her, and I wanted to tell her, and make it so it didn't sound so serious. It slipped out the wrong way though, and then I lied to her and said I wasn't suicidal.



I'll try to figure out how to quit thinking of her as a friend. Yet I really want her as a friend. Oh, I'm confusing myself again.