Why Do I Feel So Different About Myself

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Abbi
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Why Do I Feel So Different About Myself

Post by Abbi » Mon Sep 29, 2003 10:13 am

I've been meaning to post this for quite some time now, but I just haven't known how to put it, it's a really strange thing that I'm feeling..so I'm gonna try to explain..I just need to get it out there..



Well if I'm having sex or smokeing weed or something next to a mirror or something and I look at myself..I see how I used to feel about myself..like it's not me now, but it used to be, the way my face looks, it's just like theres something in me that hasn't changed since I was little or something..and it makes me feel weird, because that girl that I see in the mirror would'nt be having sex, or smokein weed, and she would'nt have a boyfriend, and she would get along with her mom..and all this stuff starts coming back to me if I SEE myself doing things that I know I should'nt be doing..it's done this for years, but I never really put any thought into it, I've just ignored it like it's nothing..but since I have a boyfriend now, we've been having sex, and a couple times in the bathroom..and I saw myself in the mirror, and it just didn't seem right...it's not him tho..because I felt that way with my old boyfriend that I also had sex with..I just don't know whats going on..it's like when I look in the mirror, I'm looking down on myself with how I used to be....I don't know..I didn't explain it fully....but thats the best I can do.. :blink:
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FryGuy
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Re: Why Do I Feel So Different About Myself

Post by FryGuy » Mon Sep 29, 2003 2:16 pm

Everyone has that innocent inner child still inside, it just means you have a concience. I ignored it long enough that I don't even remember that innocent version of me.
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Abbi
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Re: Why Do I Feel So Different About Myself

Post by Abbi » Mon Sep 29, 2003 9:22 pm

Does anyone else wanna comment? :blink:
Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair...

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Re: Why Do I Feel So Different About Myself

Post by pmfman » Tue Sep 30, 2003 1:25 am

maybe it if yourself trying to say that you are not acting like yourself....... just my thoughts
"we have troubles all around us, but we are not defeated" - Corinthians

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Re: Why Do I Feel So Different About Myself

Post by PurplePoemPuppet » Tue Sep 30, 2003 1:34 am

I think what you're seeing in the mirror may be what you haven't been able to see in yourself. Being able to physically see yourself shows you plainly as you are, as you are seen "in the mirror." If anyone else looks at you, they may see those same things, that you are a young girl who has the potential to harm her future in having sex young, and smoking weed and whatnot.



When you see yourself in the mirror, I think it's a way for you to see that you really are that young girl and that somehow, "deep down," you do know it's wrong to do what you do. You may feel total lack of resistance to what you do, but you still know it's wrong. If you want to make any attempt in rectifying this, you have to consider seriously what you do with your life, the weed and the sex, and choose to do what you feel is right... and by feel, I mean mentally... not physically.



Believe me I know the feeling of desiring things sexually (as if any teenager doesn't) and while I haven't ever gone all the way, what I have done I've given up. Recently, I've felt those raging hormonal urges deep inside and sometimes it makes me miss that physical pleasure, but I know I can resist it and I know I can handle it, as difficult as it sounds and sometimes really can be.



Perhaps you need start listening to yourself and make the effort to really be that innocent girl you feel that you are. There must be a reason you feel guilty for doing these things. And honestly, I think that's what it is... guilt. What you have described is a physical reminder for yourself that shows your guilt because you feel like you are that innocent girl inside and somewhere along the lines, you let the physical desires replace all inhibitions. Occasionally you'd be reminded that you are still the little girl inside, but because you decided that those physical pleasures (and I'm not just talking about sex... all the physical pleasures) were so 'good' feeling, you ignored yourself and have come to the point now where you are asking thoughts and advice.



I may have this whole story wrong, and maybe I've interpreted your post entirely wrong, but that's what I feel you might be feeling. I hope that in some way I've helped gather some of your thoughts. You're getting a reminder that I think very few people ever get the chance to get, and I think that maybe you should listen to it.
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Laurna
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Re: Why Do I Feel So Different About Myself

Post by Laurna » Wed Oct 01, 2003 12:51 am

Maybe by looking in the mirror and seeing the inner you, you can see all of the other paths you could have taken. But you'd never lose your inner child.



It could also mean that maybe your mind is trying to show you you're still a kid and you're doing things that may seem ok on the outside, but on the inside your mind is second guessing.



I think you need to take a close look at everything that's going on in your life and find from within yourself why you're feeling like this. It's something you have to do with yourself, for yourself.

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