2 "scallies..."

[English_Rose]

Towards the end of Year 7 (around July this year) I started getting picked on by these 2 bitchy girls. At first (in year 7) I didn't say anything back to them, so I suppose they took advantage. But now, in year 8, it's getting worse by the day.

My friend Kate was telling me that they used to bully her in Primary School (Kindergarten, i dunno what it's called in the US), but anyway, she said she stood up to them by answering back when they said something to her and she said she had to result into fighting physically, too.

Well, I've tried saying stuff back, which I do, but then the day after I've said it, I won't have the nerve to do it again so whenever they say something I just try to "ignore" them - this NEVER works, they carry on doing it anyway.

They've also started with physical threats like one time I said to one of them (when they tried to push past me in the corridoor) "Don't get your hair off" (meaning don't go in a strop) and she said "I'll rip your out in a minute if you don't shut up."

The problem is, these girls live in the roughest part of the town and they're classed as "scallies" - meaning they're hard (tough) and could knock you out with one punch. It's not so much Leila that bothers me - it's just the other one. Leila's not at all hard, she just picks on the same people as the other girl because she wants to be popular and classed as a "hard-knock", when really she's not. (She's all talk and no action.)

But the other girls different. I'm so scared when it comes to taking lessons with her - I'm scared they'll gang up on me, and all the threats she's given me she'll actually do TO me.

They're so horrible - I had my name up on the blackboard the other day and afterwards when the teacher had gone out of the room they wrote "stig" next to my name. I have to sit next to them in Art and they always ask me personal questions that I don't want to answer but am too afraid to not answer (if you get what I mean.)

I've told my friends and they say to stand up for myself and my parents said do that too and if they hit you, hit them back - which, I've decided, I'll do, even if I do get knocked out.

But I want to ask for your advice - because I can confide in all of you just as much as I can with my other friends.

Please help, I don't know what to do.

[Tristan]

Hun, i dont know how well this will work in your situation, but it's worked for me wonderfully in my past ones. Ever heard of the phrase "kill them with kindness"? Simply put, instead of making snide remarks back to them, put on a smile, to show that what they say doesnt bother you to the least. When they make a comment to you, or shout at you, or the likes, just smile and be polite to them. Within a short time, they will come to see that what they say doesnt affect you, and that they cant break your spirit. Greet them as they pass you, as politely as you can. Trick of it is, you have to pull up alot of confidence, and not let them see that you are nervous, or scared, or whatever the case. Snakes sense fear in people and animals, and these girls are just that....Snakes. Dont show them that you are afraid, they wont strike you, and will find different prey. On a second note, This Leila seems to be misguided, and looking for a true friend. Be extra kind to her. If you can build a friendship with her, you just may find that she and you have alot in common on the inside. Also, by doing this, Leila may in turn tell them to back off and to leave you be. Give it a try, and let me know how it goes. My email addy is Helios487@ameritech.net

Best of luck to you.



-Tristan