HelpingTeens: Support Groups

ok i dont know if anyone else has noticed this or not, but i've been coming here for over a year, and in that time i've read a lot of posts where people are lying, and they end up getting caught in their lies...and i'm just wondering why they lie. I mean when i read a post and it touches my heart and i really start to feel for a person, i feel even more disapointed when the truth comes out because i feel decieved. I want to help people, but now when i read a post the first thing i think is "is this for real, or does this person just need someone to tell them that they care"...i dont know but it's really starting to get on my nerves, so much to the point that i'm not even sure if i want to continue to come to this websight...i dunno...i guess i'm just venting....but i cant stand liars, i keep trying to teach my 4 yr old neice that lying is wrong...and then there are some people that on this sight who are almostt adults who need the same speech so here goes: lying is NOT okay...





*andi*

They're just looking for attention, usually. I can understand you getting frustrated, but don't let it keep you from helping the people that really need it. (Like me, )



Doug

yea, i guess i will still offer help...i just wish that people would grow up a little and think about the lies before they post them, because somewhere out there someone is going through what they are claiming to be going through...and i dunno, just agrivates me....oh well nothing anyone can do about it i guess....

Have you ever lied about something like this?



I know that when I was in grade 7, I called up the kids help phone for fun and pretended I was panicing as "my girlfriend and I had sex and now she's pregnant" (mind you i was lying, but it was for fun).



I now realize that that was wrong, and i grew up, but yea, even I did that at one point... You just have to hope that people grow up as quickly as I did, but most times that just doesnt happen.

yea, I agree with you andi that it's annoying.. There are some other ways to get some attention than lying.. I mean, let's grow up, we're not here to stay 'teens' forever

I used to have that attitude towards people...I used to hate liars - call shit out of them and disregard them as stupid immature people.



But I kinda changed my mind when my friend turned out to be of these "so called liars".

You see she seemed the most happiest person alive...had every single thing she could ever want. Everyone was jealous of her - she was spoilt. But her parents were really over protective. So she used to make up loadsa bollocks about how she had this many boyfriends on the go, that she was pregnant and all of that crap. We all knew it was a pack of lies. Everyone else fell out with her. Except me.



All I thought was - Why would somebody make up lies? Surely there MUST be a reason.



So I got closer to her, and her family. Truth was - her parents used to hit her...beat her up. Leave marks on her body so then she could cover them. None on her face. No-one knew this. She chose to lie about things that COULD be happening to her rather than telling people what WAS happening to her. She broke down and told me this - she told me she said loads of crap about boyfriends breaking her heart and being pregnant because she wished that that was what was wrong with her. She needed to know people cared but didn't dare tell anyone about her family problems...



Well I totally feel sorry for her - everything is fine now though. She is living with her grandparents and is much better.



People LIE for a reason. Maybe not in every circumstance it isn't a good reason. But behind lies there is always truth. Maybe they are like my friend and daren't admit what is really going on? Think about it.



That is why if I don't believe someone, I won't let it go. I wont sympathize with them 100 percent. I will talk to them, get to know them and see what they say then.



Ignorance spreads lies....



~ Kel xxx

I understand what your saying kel, and i've known people like that too...but in person it's a bit different then online. I honestly think people just want to get sympathy and have someone tell them that they care...even if it's just a problem that they've made up...



And Overdrive, i also understand what you've said, i guess i just forget that i am dealing with 12 and 13 yr olds as well as older more mature people, and i guess i just forget sometimes that not everyone on this sight is an adult and some people still have a lot of growing up to do.



*if you are one of those people who have been posting false claims (you know who you are) it doesnt make you a bad person, but you should sit down and think about why you are doing this and what we can do to help you get over this*

I really do agree with you. ESPECIALLY in teen pregnancy cases... it's PATHETIC. I really think it's HORRIBLE....

Originally posted by Chocolat Moi@Mar 25 2004, 01:28 AM

I really do agree with you. ESPECIALLY in teen pregnancy cases... it's PATHETIC. I really think it's HORRIBLE....

*ahem* yes we all know what your referring two, and i have to admit, that was the final straw that drove me to post this topic in the first place, but even worse then that i think is when people lie about rape or something like that...or one that really pissed me off was last year someone posted something saying that they were exposed to HIV/AIDS...and had just about EVERYONE offering support and care just to say 4 pages later "april fools"...and believe me no one thought it was funny...now i'm not trying to bring up old shit, but april fools is coming up and i would just like to ask everyone before you decide to play a "trick" on the members of teen help next week, stop and think about it, and if your smart you'll realize that some things you just dont joke about

I mean for real though, it's like totally wrong to have people offer their love and support and be bullshitting them. We need a rule against April Fool's jokes, that's coming up soon....

There will be a rule about this coming up, i'm too tired to draft one up right now

Good... thank you.. now before making another rule, how about we actually TALK to the ... i don'tknow... USERS... about it... hmmm CONCEPT....

It would only be for that day, and it would be an annoucement.... or something... we arent sure yet.... Talking to the users about not making these types of jokes will go no-where... come on, you know that... if they are going to do it, they will do it anyways... I'm not sure what we are going to come up with, but we are going to think of a way of limiting this type of april fools jokes to something like the chit-chat forum only

Or better yet... why not post an official notice... "any april fools jokes that harm the site" or whatever will result in a BAN. That will defer ppl....

Here is the thing-what if you get to the point where you stop believing everyone and someone really needs your help? Usually it is gonna sound fake if it is. But try to believe everyone and dont think they are lying. If they really need the help then they will use your advise. And if they are lying then they will blow it off. Look at it that away.





Kayla474

Originally posted by andi@Mar 23 2004, 10:28 AM

<snip

I want to help people, but now when i read a post the first thing i think is "is this for real, or does this person just need someone to tell them that they care"...i dont know but it's really starting to get on my nerves, so much to the point that i'm not even sure if i want to continue to come to this websight...

Usually, the people who are lying need the help even more. If they really DIDN'T need the help then at least you put forward the effort, and maybe someone who has a REAL problem such as the one posted they will see your post, and be helped because of it.



You can't go around thinking that just because the person lies doesn't mean your help isn't just as valid. Either way, you help that person, and others by showing that people do care, and there is a way out of that situation. Yes, lying does make things harder, and takes our focuse away from the more obvious people who really DO need help, but your help is not worthless in any way because of it.