Moderators..

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Jaegermeister
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Re: Moderators..

Post by Jaegermeister »

Well my whole take on the issue is this......



Wouldn't you much rather take sky diving lessons from a sky diving instructor as opposed to a scuba diving instructor?



What I mean by that is if someone has no idea what depression is like, how can they help you if you're dealing with it? If you want answers from people who don't suffer from those problems, they are called pschologists. We readily admit to not being professionals. BUT, I think it can be said that by being a moderator, even with the problems, we're offering to put ourselves in the background for the most part and focus on helping other people, and also sometimes helping ourselves. I know there are times when I've been typing a post to someone and giving this great pearl of wisdom, and then realizing, yes, I should take my own advice. It doesn't always work that way though, because it's probably the hardest to take your own advice. So that's why at times moderators will have problems of their own that they can't or don't want to solve on their own, we want to either a) ask the community which we are dedicated to helping to give back to us and help us in turn, and/or B) share our experiences with others so that they can learn from our problems.



Personally, I think that imperfect/flawed/human/say what you want moderators is this site's greatest asset. Personally, I would feel incredibly intimidated by coming to a site where there are the people that need help, the users, and then the "godly" moderators with no problems of their own to deal with. That would be such a seperation and such a stumbling block because I would constantly be thinking "How do they know what I am going through? They haven't been there themselves." The blurring of the lines between general users and moderators helps to connect and be able to reach our members.



Also, moderators are not here just to help. We are not supposed to have an answer or advice or a solution to every problem. We are moderators of the forums primarily to police the rules and keep this place running smoothly and efficiently. In a very close running for second place is our ability to help, but I would say the policing of our forums and keeping the Support Groups running is the reason the moderator position was created. If the Admins really wanted to, they could do all the policing themselves, but that's a huge task for four people and so they delegated authority. Naturally the moderators are put in areas that they are most able to help in, because let's face it, it'd be a dreadful task to be a moderator of a forum that you didn't like. I personally have not felt very able to connect to the people in the depression forum recently, so I have contented myself with simply reading over the forum and making sure that there are no offendsive or inappropriate posts in there.



I hope that that answers your question.



TJ
"What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?" --OSB



"Be who you are and be that well" --St Francis de Sales.



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Nikki
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Re: Moderators..

Post by Nikki »

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Re: Moderators..

Post by Barbies are Evil »

now see....its weird for me, I can deal with any problem but my own.....and on the net I tend to rush into problems with a bravado that I do not possess in real life.....so basically, i'm awesome at giving others advice, i'm just trying to learn to practice what I preach........(hopefully this post made sense)
TJ[10:13 PM]: no not really..... it's all so.... like wow..... screw steps, you took a fuckin jet pack and strapped it on yourself and rocketed your way forward (thats my big bro)







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Re: Moderators..

Post by FallonCeceAda »

With me, I can be Suicidal at times, but I found helping others has helped me.... Its hard to explain but I'll try. I came to teen help as a lowly teenager who only cared that she was in a wheelchair for the first day of HS, Teenhelp opened a new window to me, seeing that is no big deal compared to, lets say, being preg. Then I was attacked, and I saw first hand what I was reading on the site. Many people think that getting help is only asking for it, but sometimes it isn't. If u help another, sometimes u feel good about ur self, u can think "wow, I made a difference" and then, slowly, it makes u feel better too. Also, we are at Teen Help, and even though the mods (which I think deserves a lot of credit) are here to help, that doesn't mean they r over there probs. Probs can out last for yrs, and if we waited for the mods to be over them, they would be over the age limit. Do u get what I'm saying?
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Re: Moderators..

Post by OverDrive »

Adam Marshall

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Re: Moderators..

Post by junglemonkey »

I understand your point, but I mean if a you're constantly in depression, how can you help other people who are depressed if you can't even help yourself?




The road to recovery with depression ISN'T easy. It's not as simple as "helping yourself". It's a long, hard road and perhaps reaching out to others gives people who are depressed a bit of self worth. Don't think of depression as a personality trait, it's not, it's an illness, a disease.



So say someone with a physical illness, such as diabetes, Person A, tells another diabetic person, Person B, about a fantastic new treatment that has helped her cope with her illness. Do you think Person B doesn't have a right to tell Person A about this new treatment because she herself has the illness? No.



So lets not have such a stigma over mental health. It's like a quote I read once - "Having skitzophrenia doesn't depress me half as much as your attitude to mental health".



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Re: Moderators..

Post by xolilsk8rchicaxo »

we dont necessarily have all the right answer on how to fix it, but we can help you on how to cope with it. often times i like a respond better from someone who feels the same. because they know what its like. and just because it doesnt work for them, doesnt mean it couldnt work for me. sometimes that is the best advice form people who have the problems. and mods are also there to keep everything in order. its not like we have a higher power of knowledge or we're better than you and how to handle things.
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Re: Moderators..

Post by Jaegermeister »

Originally posted by OverDrive@Mar 24 2004, 09:33 PM

Amazingly well put - Absolutely agree with you.
Thanks Adam :D



TJ
"What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?" --OSB



"Be who you are and be that well" --St Francis de Sales.



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badgerbadgerbadger
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Re: Moderators..

Post by badgerbadgerbadger »

There will always be exceptions to every rule. We could say that people who are depressed are not as able to give advice as somebody who isn't depressed, but these people are still young and are still going through those developmental stages which turns them into the "experts" who have recovered and overcome their depression later in life.



There are some people who yes experience depression, but are also able to keep going and help other people from the experience which they have personally had. Somebody who is maybe 4 years down the line in experiencing depression could help somebody who is perhaps only just falling down the slippery slope and tell them things which could help them get off that slope before it's too late.



Then I have another example, the welfare officer at my university is not able to do her job because she is still not getting the right or enough help and on top of this she is expected to listen to other peoples problems.



So I've seen it from both sides. It's easier to give online advice because it's detached from "reality" as it were. I'll never meet you and you will never see me, thus making it easier to open up online rather than in real life.



Hmmm..
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Emily
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Re: Moderators..

Post by Emily »

I agree with you wholeheartidly.



Personally, if my need for help was right underneath a post by the same person whose suppose to be the expert of the forum would not sit well with me.



It just seem doesn't right.
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Re: Moderators..

Post by badgerbadgerbadger »

Problems with working on sites like this is that it can wear you down over time, not immediately and thus end up contributing to your depression. It depends what kind of person you are to begin with.
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Re: Moderators..

Post by b e a u t i f u l »

I've posted in suicide once when I was really upset....Yes I am a mod and yes I still have problems of my own. Everyone has problems and needs to rant about them or get advice about them. I don't think just because I am a mod that means I can't post my problems in certain forums. I am 100% sure even professional psychologists have problems also.
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Re: Moderators..

Post by SirPostAlot »

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Re: Moderators..

Post by sweethelp »

She's so big hearted

but not so remarkable

just an ordinary humble girl

expecting nothing as we may

to think it's a pretty person's worth

you are beautiful

and you'd better go show it

so go and look again

you gotta be true only if you really wanna go to the top and you really wanna win

don't believe in living normal

just to satisfy demand

Well, if you wanna get free

and if wanna get smart by the sake of your heart

you should own your lame and stand up tall

:)
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Re: Moderators..

Post by Adnama »

This is why I mod religion. I cut, I'm suicidle, I'm mucho depressed, and even though I can occationaly give some really good advice regarding all of these topics [souly because I've been there] I could never see my self modding one of these forms, it wouldn't feel right for me to constantly be posting my own problems in my form.



But, from what I've seen, the mods who do mod the 'heavy' forms [suicide, self harm, depression, rape/abuse I'm probably forgeting one or two so insert them here] arn't nessisarly like that. I'm the kind of person who can't help someone else if I'm down my self, so I made the concious disision to stay away from those forms. There are plenty of people who can help others even when they are down/upset/whatever them selves. And as long as they're still able to do their jobs, why complain?



I know I probably couldn't talk to someone, or take advice from someone, who's never been depressed regarding depression, or who's never S.Ied regarding self harm, ect. To me, you HAVE to have been there. Sometimes, even if you were there you only have a small idea of what I go though! So it's good that the mods know what it's like. They couldn't give advice otherwise.



I'm not sure that made total sence... but ahh well, I tried.
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Re: Moderators..

Post by Barbies are Evil »

and theres also a certain bravado on-line that you can really open up and be honest with someone on-line.....that's the reason i'm a good mod.......because if it comes to my problems, forget it, I can't give any advice to myself. Problems in real life i'm hesitant with. But any help that someone needs who is on-line, i'm "superwoman" in a flash! But if TH was in real life, forget it, i'd be out. but since its on-line I am unhibitied, (the non sexual way) but also sympathic, fair, and even though I have a temper, if you need help, i'm here for you, and that's that. So the on-line aspect is everything that basically makes it for me.
TJ[10:13 PM]: no not really..... it's all so.... like wow..... screw steps, you took a fuckin jet pack and strapped it on yourself and rocketed your way forward (thats my big bro)







And I'm going to extremes



Tomorrow I will change



And today won't mean a thing



I'm a bitch, I'm a tease



I'm a goddess on my knees



When you hurt, when you suffer



I'm your angel undercover



I've been numb, I'm revived



Can't say I'm not alive



You know I wouldn't want it any other way



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Re: Moderators..

Post by The Black Hat »

Originally posted by Nikki@Mar 24 2004, 02:33 PM

can you explain me what moderators are there for? :huh:



I though they were there to help people, give advice and such. But I can see some Mods posting in suicidal or self harming section.. I mean, we all have problems, but aren't those who help supposed to have a certaing psychological balance to be able to help the others.. coz it may look like they're giving advices that don't help themselves... I dunno, just my 2 euros..



(and please don't start a war against me, I'm just a human and just wondering)




Nikki,



I'd like to say a few words before I continue on with other topics tonight. Moderators are in fact here to help people with their problems, and to keep the board clean (by following the rules).



The Moderators here are dealing with their own problems (which is why they are here) but the focus of this site isn't just to help yourself, but to help others. Helping others can help you in the end. The Moderators here arn't perfect, they are far from it, but they are doing all that they can and should.



With that said, I am going to retire to other topics.



Goodnight.
Respectfully,

Black Hat

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Nikki
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Re: Moderators..

Post by Nikki »

Originally posted by Emily@Mar 28 2004, 12:56 AM

I agree with you wholeheartidly.



Personally, if my need for help was right underneath a post by the same person whose suppose to be the expert of the forum would not sit well with me.



It just seem doesn't right.


that's what I meant when I started this topic. I never said mods must be perfect, never have had depression or anything. Yes, it's way easier to give advices about something you have been through and got over the problem.



Some say that it's easier to give an advice online.. Well, I think it is because you don't realize how real it is, you don't know their whole story, you can't sense the way they really feel, so you -can- give some brief advice..



Oh well, I know everybody has problems, and me too sometimes, but I still find it better when the person moderating a forum have been through the problem and knows how to manage it, rather than has the problem right now and wishes he knew what to do.. Just my opinion..
God kicked in the head so I started a fight, coz I knew I was right! But I learned I was wrong...
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