i swear i am so f*cking dumb and i really really hate myself RIGHT now...Grrrrr please tell me what to do.... F*cked
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sad_soul555
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F*cked
*sigh* alright guys i have done it once again and i know my dad is going to be like you should have lisend to me....when i told you to do what i said...but alright here it is ....about 2 months ago i droped out of high school alright...and yea here it is december....and yea i have been doing alot of thinking and i think i want to go back to high school...and i am soooo far behind it is NOT even funny....and i know when i tell every one i was wrong...they are just gonna laugh and tell me they told me so... i swear i am so f*cking dumb and i really really hate myself RIGHT now...Grrrrr please tell me what to do....
i swear i am so f*cking dumb and i really really hate myself RIGHT now...Grrrrr please tell me what to do.... Hmmm i am starting to hate guys more and more...every day.....maybe someday ill meet someone worth loveing...intill then ill die inside...im gonna grow up being a very bitter old woman,.....
brittaney....OMG you have such a beautiful son....i can't beleave we have been friends this long....(all our lives...17 years).....and i hope i never lose you...and or your beautiful baby boy deagen.....
"I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to kill the thing on the inside."
brittaney....OMG you have such a beautiful son....i can't beleave we have been friends this long....(all our lives...17 years).....and i hope i never lose you...and or your beautiful baby boy deagen.....
"I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to kill the thing on the inside."
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Paris In Flames
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Re: F*cked
Go back in.
If you REALLY want to get through it, then you'll be willing to do all the extra work.
You'll have so many more opportunities if you complete high school.
Cheers,
Jenna
If you REALLY want to get through it, then you'll be willing to do all the extra work.
You'll have so many more opportunities if you complete high school.
Cheers,
Jenna
xMOSHx xHELLA HARDCOREx xBREAKDOWNx
The tragedy is the ignorance behind the clean casket
On the outside, they look so good
They're walking to Wallstreet in a straightjacket...
The tragedy is the ignorance behind the clean casket
On the outside, they look so good
They're walking to Wallstreet in a straightjacket...
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l3rok3n
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Re: F*cked
If you want to go back the sooner you go back the less work you will have to do. If you think about it for another month or so then that is more work you have to make up. I would try and get all your make up work before winter break, because then you could do a lot of it then.
You called yesterday to basically say
That you care for me but that you're just not in love
Immediately I pretended to be feeling similarly
And led you to believe I was O.K.
To just walk away from the one thing
That's unyielding and sacred to me
Well I guess I'm trying to be nonchalant about it
And I'm going to extremes to prove I'm fine without you
But in reality I'm slowly losing my my mind
Underneath the guise of a smile gradually I'm dying inside
Friends ask me how I feel and I lie convincingly
'Cause I don't want to reveal the fact that I'm suffering
So I wear my disguise 'til I go home at night
And turn down all the lights and then break down and cry
So what do you do when somebody you're devoted to
Suddenly just stops loving you and it seems they haven't got a clue
Of the pain that rejection is putting you through
Do you cling to your pride and sing "I will survive"
Do you lash out and say "How dare you leave this way"
Do you hold on in vain as they just slip away
That you care for me but that you're just not in love
Immediately I pretended to be feeling similarly
And led you to believe I was O.K.
To just walk away from the one thing
That's unyielding and sacred to me
Well I guess I'm trying to be nonchalant about it
And I'm going to extremes to prove I'm fine without you
But in reality I'm slowly losing my my mind
Underneath the guise of a smile gradually I'm dying inside
Friends ask me how I feel and I lie convincingly
'Cause I don't want to reveal the fact that I'm suffering
So I wear my disguise 'til I go home at night
And turn down all the lights and then break down and cry
So what do you do when somebody you're devoted to
Suddenly just stops loving you and it seems they haven't got a clue
Of the pain that rejection is putting you through
Do you cling to your pride and sing "I will survive"
Do you lash out and say "How dare you leave this way"
Do you hold on in vain as they just slip away
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sad_soul555
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Re: F*cked
to honest with you i think i am going to call my cousin tasha and ask her to HELP me b/c she is GREAT in school and she has always told me when ever i need help just to ask but i am just scared that every one is going to be like i told you....and i HONESTLY hate being wrong...and i know the one person who is going to hold this ova my head is my dad....
Hmmm i am starting to hate guys more and more...every day.....maybe someday ill meet someone worth loveing...intill then ill die inside...im gonna grow up being a very bitter old woman,.....
brittaney....OMG you have such a beautiful son....i can't beleave we have been friends this long....(all our lives...17 years).....and i hope i never lose you...and or your beautiful baby boy deagen.....
"I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to kill the thing on the inside."
brittaney....OMG you have such a beautiful son....i can't beleave we have been friends this long....(all our lives...17 years).....and i hope i never lose you...and or your beautiful baby boy deagen.....
"I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to kill the thing on the inside."
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Paris In Flames
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- Joined: Sat Apr 19, 2003 12:52 am
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Re: F*cked
Originally posted by sad_soul555@Dec 12 2004, 06:51 PM
to honest with you i think i am going to call my cousin tasha and ask her to HELP me b/c she is GREAT in school and she has always told me when ever i need help just to ask but i am just scared that every one is going to be like i told you....and i HONESTLY hate being wrong...and i know the one person who is going to hold this ova my head is my dad....
[right][/right]
::le sigh::
You have to deal with that, though. YOU made the choice to drop out of school, and didn't think about the consequences. Go back in with an open mind, and don't lash out if people start saying, "I told you so."
You made a mistake, you learned from it, and now you have your cousin to help you get back on track. Hopefully, you now know the severity of the decisions that you can make.
Cheers,
Jenna
xMOSHx xHELLA HARDCOREx xBREAKDOWNx
The tragedy is the ignorance behind the clean casket
On the outside, they look so good
They're walking to Wallstreet in a straightjacket...
The tragedy is the ignorance behind the clean casket
On the outside, they look so good
They're walking to Wallstreet in a straightjacket...
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5a5
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Re: F*cked
ya go back who cares what people r going to say? it's better to admit to ur mistakes now than 20 yrs from now u know
Now you'll find with everything you lose
Your path clears with everything you choose
Is there someway I can show you
The best is yet to come
Your path clears with everything you choose
Is there someway I can show you
The best is yet to come
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sad_soul555
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Re: F*cked
hey all i got ahold of my school and yea they said i could go back...i just have to go see the prisible...(sp).....but yea i wrote them a letter...and they wrote back here is the letter i wrote....
Dear Miss. Emerson,
Hello, this amber gray once again...*sigh* I have found out that life with out school...really means i have no life.....I have realized that if i don?t have an education than i have nothing...that i will grow up to be a nothing...and i will not lie yes i have enjoyed the time off from school...but you know i have realized one thing...and that is you honestly don?t think you will miss something in till you have gotten your wish and it is no long there...and yes i have to say i miss PCHS...I honestly miss my teacher the smiling faces and my friends most of all...I thought i could do this and make it in this world with out an education...and yes i had to find out the hard way...and i have wasted almost 3 months of school..by doing NOTHING...sitting at home and talking online....wast of time...because guess what i am NOT getting an education that way...I have dreams i want to have plans....I want to have a life.....after high school....and yes i know i have told you this before and i bet your thinking is she for real...and yes i think this time around i am for real.....*sigh* and i know your thinking why should i believe her.....and i honestly would not give me another chance but that is what i am asking for another chance at getting my education......I want to come back to PCHS starting the first of the year and i am willing to go back to all my old classes....this is one of the most hardest things i would say i have ever had to do.....is admit i was wrong...and to tell someone i should have listened to the adults around me.....I know i have messed up big time and i know i am going to have to work really really hard....and maybe even put in some after school time but....I honestly think i am willing to do this....me and my father have been having a lot of problems and stuff....and not only do i want to prove him wrong..and show him i can be smart and i can graduate high school....but i want to show my self...that i am not dumb...that i was just being lazy....yea i will be the first to admit i have a lot and i mean a lot of problems.....I i know i might not pass this year but you know what that is no one fault but my own...and i am willing to put in another year at PCHS...if you all will give me another chance......and i pray to god...that you all will not turn your back on me...like i have you....Miss emerson....I know you stuck your neck over the table for me to help me...and i honestly am sorry for letting you down from the bottom of my heart....you are one of the nicest people in that school and i let you down....as well as i did myself....I know i have to come back to school...because my 13 year old sister thinks just because i don?t go she don?t have to go and i want her to get a better life than what i might have.....she needs more than a bum life.....and she has a lot of problems and so she really needs her schooling....and with all this being said i hope you and Mr. jordan can find it in your hearts to let me be part of your PCHS community again.....please let me know if i can start school again starting the first of the year and if so can you please send me a copy of my classes and please e-mail me back.... Yours Truly,
Amber Gray
but yea any ways here is the letter she wrote back to me alright
Amber my door is always open for you and like I said before you are a very smart girl and I would do what I could to help you get your education. The piece that was missing was where this all fit for you and from your note you have finally made the connection of where school needs to be for you and the importance of it in many aspects of your life. You are always welcome to come back but realize that there is alot of work to be done. If you would like to come in before vacation to get a schedule and maybe some work so you know where you'll be starting when you come back please do.
I have your backpack in my office still.
Let me know what you want to do and I look forward to seeing you if not before vacation then Jan. 3rd.
Mrs. Emerson
but yea thanx guys for every thing..
~*AmBi*~
Dear Miss. Emerson,
Hello, this amber gray once again...*sigh* I have found out that life with out school...really means i have no life.....I have realized that if i don?t have an education than i have nothing...that i will grow up to be a nothing...and i will not lie yes i have enjoyed the time off from school...but you know i have realized one thing...and that is you honestly don?t think you will miss something in till you have gotten your wish and it is no long there...and yes i have to say i miss PCHS...I honestly miss my teacher the smiling faces and my friends most of all...I thought i could do this and make it in this world with out an education...and yes i had to find out the hard way...and i have wasted almost 3 months of school..by doing NOTHING...sitting at home and talking online....wast of time...because guess what i am NOT getting an education that way...I have dreams i want to have plans....I want to have a life.....after high school....and yes i know i have told you this before and i bet your thinking is she for real...and yes i think this time around i am for real.....*sigh* and i know your thinking why should i believe her.....and i honestly would not give me another chance but that is what i am asking for another chance at getting my education......I want to come back to PCHS starting the first of the year and i am willing to go back to all my old classes....this is one of the most hardest things i would say i have ever had to do.....is admit i was wrong...and to tell someone i should have listened to the adults around me.....I know i have messed up big time and i know i am going to have to work really really hard....and maybe even put in some after school time but....I honestly think i am willing to do this....me and my father have been having a lot of problems and stuff....and not only do i want to prove him wrong..and show him i can be smart and i can graduate high school....but i want to show my self...that i am not dumb...that i was just being lazy....yea i will be the first to admit i have a lot and i mean a lot of problems.....I i know i might not pass this year but you know what that is no one fault but my own...and i am willing to put in another year at PCHS...if you all will give me another chance......and i pray to god...that you all will not turn your back on me...like i have you....Miss emerson....I know you stuck your neck over the table for me to help me...and i honestly am sorry for letting you down from the bottom of my heart....you are one of the nicest people in that school and i let you down....as well as i did myself....I know i have to come back to school...because my 13 year old sister thinks just because i don?t go she don?t have to go and i want her to get a better life than what i might have.....she needs more than a bum life.....and she has a lot of problems and so she really needs her schooling....and with all this being said i hope you and Mr. jordan can find it in your hearts to let me be part of your PCHS community again.....please let me know if i can start school again starting the first of the year and if so can you please send me a copy of my classes and please e-mail me back.... Yours Truly,
Amber Gray
but yea any ways here is the letter she wrote back to me alright
Amber my door is always open for you and like I said before you are a very smart girl and I would do what I could to help you get your education. The piece that was missing was where this all fit for you and from your note you have finally made the connection of where school needs to be for you and the importance of it in many aspects of your life. You are always welcome to come back but realize that there is alot of work to be done. If you would like to come in before vacation to get a schedule and maybe some work so you know where you'll be starting when you come back please do.
I have your backpack in my office still.
Let me know what you want to do and I look forward to seeing you if not before vacation then Jan. 3rd.
Mrs. Emerson
but yea thanx guys for every thing..
~*AmBi*~
Hmmm i am starting to hate guys more and more...every day.....maybe someday ill meet someone worth loveing...intill then ill die inside...im gonna grow up being a very bitter old woman,.....
brittaney....OMG you have such a beautiful son....i can't beleave we have been friends this long....(all our lives...17 years).....and i hope i never lose you...and or your beautiful baby boy deagen.....
"I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to kill the thing on the inside."
brittaney....OMG you have such a beautiful son....i can't beleave we have been friends this long....(all our lives...17 years).....and i hope i never lose you...and or your beautiful baby boy deagen.....
"I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to kill the thing on the inside."
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jess_617
- Veteran
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Re: F*cked
Hun Im really happy for you. Its good you realized that school is important. I know how boring and seemingly pointless it seems but really you need to go and you will have a much better life with the education you aquire.
Good Luck and if you ever need help we are here for you!
Jessi
Good Luck and if you ever need help we are here for you!
Jessi
Hey everyone. Im around here alot so if anyone ever needs a chat feel free to PM me or add me on Yahoo, AIM, or MSN. I'll do my best to help. <3
Jessi's Myspace...add me if you want..i have like 3 friends on there. lol
Jessi's Myspace...add me if you want..i have like 3 friends on there. lol
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sad_soul555
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Re: F*cked
thanx all i am going in tomorrow to get some work so i can kinda try and catch up ova x-mas break
Hmmm i am starting to hate guys more and more...every day.....maybe someday ill meet someone worth loveing...intill then ill die inside...im gonna grow up being a very bitter old woman,.....
brittaney....OMG you have such a beautiful son....i can't beleave we have been friends this long....(all our lives...17 years).....and i hope i never lose you...and or your beautiful baby boy deagen.....
"I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to kill the thing on the inside."
brittaney....OMG you have such a beautiful son....i can't beleave we have been friends this long....(all our lives...17 years).....and i hope i never lose you...and or your beautiful baby boy deagen.....
"I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to kill the thing on the inside."