Of Course There Is Something Wrong With You

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CanadaCraig
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Of Course There Is Something Wrong With You

Post by CanadaCraig »

Hi Everyone!! :)



I hope you're feeling good.



You know what?



Of COURSE there is something 'wrong' with you.



You ARE human - after all.




I am often surprised [then again - I'm not] at just how often someone will LEAVE a session with a councilor or pychologist [or some other such person] WITH a NEW LABEL to call what's 'wrong' with them.



"I have been diagnosed as a __________" Well... of course you have been. Why should THAT be surprising. It's their JOB to diagnose you. It's not likely that a councilor or pychologist is going to say, "I can not find anything wrong with you!!" In fact - would you not feel as though they had FAILED you IF they did NOT give you a name to call whatever it is you are struggling with? We all WANT a REASON to explain our behavior. [or how we are feeling, etc.] "I'm not just a human being trying to deal with life.... I've got THIS problem or THAT problem." [and I know - because the my doctor told me so]



Why am I saying this?



Is it possible that you DO have a specific problem that CAN be labeled as one thing or another? YES - of course. But keep in mind that a councilor or psychologist [or whoever you go to see] is ALSO 'just human'. And HUMANS make MISTAKES. [no matter how educated they may be] So no matter what someone may tell you - always take it for what it is - AN OPINION. Might it be the right 'opinion'? Sure - maybe. But it's STILL JUST AN OPINION. If someone does diagnose you as having this or that - don't just accept it and do nothing. Find out if YOU AGREE with that diagnoses. Look into it. Do a search on the net - to see if that diagnoses 'feels right' - to see if that diagnoses 'fits' whatever YOU are dealing with. You have an OPINION TOO - don't forget.



One thing that age has taught me is that WE are responsible for our lives AND for or physical AND mental health. Sure - there are exceptions. There are always exceptions. Maybe you DO have a problem that is 'out of your hands'. [so to speak] But for most of us - it would be a mistake to just throw your arms up in the air whenever someone diagnoses you - and leave it at that. Take an ACTIVE ROLL in your OWN LIFE. If you have a problem [and we ALL have problems] try to do something about it. Don't just hand YOUR LIFE over to someone ELSE and let THEM try to 'fix' you. IF you agree with a councilor or pychologist's diagnoses - then work WITH them. IF you do NOT agree - try to think it through logically. Try to figure out WHY you think that perhaps the diagnoses was incorrect. And never forget that we ALL share at least SOME of the tell-tale 'signs' of most 'labels'. Have you ever read a medical diagnoses book? Well... if you haven't - believe me - you can end up scaring yourself silly. You look up a 'symptom' like 'being tired' and the diagnoses is everything from not getting enough vitamin 'C' to having 'brain tumor'. [see that I mean?]



And what if the diagnoses IS right? Well.. what if it is? That doesn't mean that suddenly YOU have turned into some sort of 'monster'. It just means that MAYBE - NOW - you can TRY to do something about your problem. You can work WITH those who are TRYING to direct you onto a path that will help you feel better. And that's good - isn't it? YES - it sure is!!



GREAT BIG HUG

Craig!! :)
"It takes FAR MORE COURAGE to be KIND than it does to be CRUEL!!"

Be sure to LIKE my Love The Bully Facebook Page!

Please visit 'Cambilar'! It's where you'll find my eBooks!

I am a 54 year old guy from Canada!! :)
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junglemonkey
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Re: Of Course There Is Something Wrong With You

Post by junglemonkey »

Excellent post Craig. Psychiatry and psychology are rife with labels for every behaviour possible. When do we draw the line at what is atypical behaviour? Same with doctors (though I have learned not to trust doctors, lol) There are things that I have objected to with mental health professionals before, knowing what would and wouldn't help me. What she said came straight out of a textbook and didn't fit my situation at all, so I told her I didn't agree (and consequently had an extremely angry therapist shouting at me!)



Personally, my particular problem does seem to be out of my hands. I've tried it all. And doctors/therapists/dieticians/psychologists all agree this may be something that sticks with me for life, and there are reasons why it will. I maintain the hope that one day I will get a break from my condition but for now, I agree.
I traded my dreams for this mess of memories

And they just stopped working for me...



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OverDrive
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Re: Of Course There Is Something Wrong With You

Post by OverDrive »

This will become an article tonight
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Re: Of Course There Is Something Wrong With You

Post by daffodildreams »

One thing that age has taught me is that WE are responsible for our lives AND for or physical AND mental health.



I don't agree with this. I'm not responsible for the things which have caused me trouble with my mental health, they were caused by other people? I didn't control what happened during my childhood, or asked people to bully me during school.



Think about what you're saying, you could seriously offend somebody.



:wacko:
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CanadaCraig
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Re: Of Course There Is Something Wrong With You

Post by CanadaCraig »

Hi fuffyhelen!! :)



I always think about what I'm saying.



The word 'responsible' [in the context of my message] is not about blame. I did not say, "your physical and mental problems are [neccessarily] your FAULT". But whether or NOT a problem we have IS our fault - does not take away from the fact that we are responsible for how we DEAL with that problem. You didn't control what happened to you during your childhood OR ask people to bullly you during school ANYMORE than I did. But how we RESPOND to the cards we have been dealt IS our responsiblity. It's the same as the difference between an 'excuse' and a 'reason'. There may be a 'reason' for how we act and/or behave but a 'reason' is not always an 'excuse'. A bully - for instance - may BE a bully because he or she is being bullied. Is that a 'reason'? Sure. But it's not an excuse. A bully victim is no less responsible for how he or she behaves than anyone else.



I hope that makes sense.



GREAT BIG HUG

Craig!! :)
"It takes FAR MORE COURAGE to be KIND than it does to be CRUEL!!"

Be sure to LIKE my Love The Bully Facebook Page!

Please visit 'Cambilar'! It's where you'll find my eBooks!

I am a 54 year old guy from Canada!! :)
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Re: Of Course There Is Something Wrong With You

Post by OverDrive »

http://www.helpingteens.org/article-0089.html

Added. Helen, feel free let me know what to add/modify in this article make it 'less offensive' to you.
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Michie
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Re: Of Course There Is Something Wrong With You

Post by Michie »

My tears will be hidden behind this fake grin

You can see me through these metal bars-I won't let you in

It's my life and I screwed it-You're not to blame

And though I keep on trying, it's so hard to change.

-Steph



My email- [email=""]steph_w_3000@hotmail.com[/email]

Email me if you wanna talk!
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her_beautiful_mistake
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Re: Of Course There Is Something Wrong With You

Post by her_beautiful_mistake »

That was the exact sentance I quoted, although Helen, CanadaCraig gave an excellent explaination, which I agree with. Although that sentance in particular could be worded differently, the overall message is not at all as it seems when reading that sentance alone.



- Rachel
[CENTER]<span style=\'color:gray\'help, I have done it again

I have been here many times before

hurt myself again today

and the worst part is there's no one else to blame

ouch, I have lost myself again

lost myself and I am nowhere to be found

yeah, I think I might break

lost myself again and I feel unsafe

be my friend, hold me, wrap me up

unfold me, I am small and needy

warm me up and breathe me



Image[/CENTER]
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SexyLittleDoll
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Re: Of Course There Is Something Wrong With You

Post by SexyLittleDoll »

Thanks Craig I believe truely that if you want to be happy and you work to be happy that you can be happy.
Σας αγαπώ μωρό. Σας χάνω, αγάπη εσείς, και θελήστε να είστε με σας .. με την όλη καρδιά μου. AKA SexyMandy
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daffodildreams
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Re: Of Course There Is Something Wrong With You

Post by daffodildreams »

The thing is though, when you are a victim of bullying or abuse or whatever.. there is something called "hardwired trauma", where the damage caused by the bullying is basically ingrained into your mind and you need years of therapy to get over it.



This is why one of the main symptoms of PTSD is anger, because the person has no idea how else to deal with what has happened to them.



Nobody can control their eating disorders, or have control over their OCD. Those are things which control the individual, I certainly can't control some of the responses which I have to things.. at least not without years of therapy.



Or was this aimed more at 15 year olds who fill out online diagnosis tests and expect somebody to come along and sort it all out for them..?
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OverDrive
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Re: Of Course There Is Something Wrong With You

Post by OverDrive »

I think what he's trying to say is that if you are OCD or have an ED, that you can control HOW you handle it. ie, you can go to a psycologist for help, or not. You may not be able to stop binging, but you CAN decide for yourself if you are going to TRY to help yourself or not.
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her_beautiful_mistake
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Re: Of Course There Is Something Wrong With You

Post by her_beautiful_mistake »

Yes, I think that is exactly what he was trying to say. That (to use his words) we are in the "driving seat" and although we may not be able to control what type of obsticales appear in our way, we can control how we handle those obsticles. Of course you cannot control your OCD. I know I often have lost control, but on the worst times, I have handled it compeleltey wrong. If I had handled it better in the first place - then it wouldn't have gone so far. Thus - we are in control of how we react to certain situations. Or, in the most part, anyway.



- Rachel
[CENTER]<span style=\'color:gray\'help, I have done it again

I have been here many times before

hurt myself again today

and the worst part is there's no one else to blame

ouch, I have lost myself again

lost myself and I am nowhere to be found

yeah, I think I might break

lost myself again and I feel unsafe

be my friend, hold me, wrap me up

unfold me, I am small and needy

warm me up and breathe me



Image[/CENTER]
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CanadaCraig
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Re: Of Course There Is Something Wrong With You

Post by CanadaCraig »

Hi fluffyhelen!! :)



OverDrive said it perfectly. [thanks OverDrive]



I know all about feeling powerless over 'things'. [complusions, reactions, responses, etc.] I've gone to several 12-step groups in my life. [OverEaters Anonymous, Co-Dependents Anonymous, Al-Anon, etc.] IN those groups we are to ADMIT to our 'powerlessness' over whatever it is we struggle with. But as 'powerless' as I was [and still am] it was IN my power to TRY to do something about it. The fact that I WENT to those 12-step groups meant that I was STILL in charge of HOW I was going to deal with my problems. I was STILL [so to speak] in the driver's seat. Chances are - I will go to my grave struggling with what was 'hardwired' into ME. [my fear of life, my fear of people, my struggle with food, etc.] These fears were CAUSED by OTHER people - but I refuse to resign myself TO those fears. This is why I keep fighting. This is why I keep trying. I refuse to please the monsters of MY past by curling up into an emotional fetal position and waving a white flag. They will NOT WIN. [at least not IF there is anything I can do about it]



GREAT BIG HUG

Craig!! :)



ps You are exactly right - Rachel!! :)
"It takes FAR MORE COURAGE to be KIND than it does to be CRUEL!!"

Be sure to LIKE my Love The Bully Facebook Page!

Please visit 'Cambilar'! It's where you'll find my eBooks!

I am a 54 year old guy from Canada!! :)
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