My name is Meghan.
I'm 17 yrs old.
I live in Califonia.
I'm 5'6".
I have dyed red hair, green/grey eyes.
I'm overweight by a bit
I'm Bisexual.
I'm in a relationship with a wonderfuul boy named james.
I like drinking.
I like Partying
I like smoking, but my boyfriend hates it
I love movies and music.
Some of my favorite movies are:
The Virgin Suicides
Underworld(1)
Resident Evil(1&2)
Zoolander
Mouli Rouge
CHicago
Fight Club
Green Street Hooligans
What's Eating Gilbert Grape?
Anchorman
Boondock Saints...
and loads more.
Some of my favorite music is:
Marilyn Manson
KoRn
the Decemberists
Eisley
Frou Frou
etc etc
I have to many problems to list as well.
Things that are effecting me at this moment are:
im in love and unhappy.
the boy i love is not so much in love as i am.
my friends are making me choose between them and him.
I hate the way i look.
I've been a cutter since i was 12.
I suffer from Major Depression.
I've attempted Suicide.
I'm secretly a compulsive lier.
I have Begun to believe my own lies.
i have made up horrible things in my life and made everyone around me believe they are true.
I pretend that I am ok, but I'm not.
I rarely tell anyone how I feel.
i have no memory from anytime before the age of 12
other than small flashbacks and snipitsof moments.
I think I'm crazy...
Being Fake is easier.
I have sought out help before.
I've gone to counseling, therapy...etc.
I've posted about shit on this site...
I've talked to some of my friends about some of my problems.
Im heavily medicated for my depression and suicidal tendancies.. and
I still have problems.
I got out of therapy by saying everything was better.
Check out my myspace if you want:
http://www.myspace.com/theduckshirt
