I hope you're OK.
That's right!! I joined the YMCA. Now that may not seem 'topic worthy' - but for me it is. You see.... I haven't been in a locker room since I was about 12 years old. [That's 33 years ago - if you're doing the math!!] I have always been SO self-conscious about my body and had convinced myself that I could NEVER be seen naked in front of a bunch of guys. If 'they' saw what I consider to be my totally unacceptable body - 'they' would make fun of me. [Or something - I'm not sure what exactly what 'they' would do] And of course - EVERY GUY who goes into a locker room has a beautiful, flawless body. [Or so I thought] Well... last year - I lost a lot of weight. And last October - a friend of mine told me about a hotel that's nearby that allows 'the locals' to use their gym for $30 a month. I mustered up the courage to go and it turned out great. Trouble was - rarely was anyone in the locker room but me - so it was safe. TOO SAFE!! It wasn't helping me to deal with my fear of people seeing my body. So when another friend - in June - had to stop by the 'Y' to pay her monthly fee - she asked if I'd like a 'tour' of the place. I said 'sure'. And THAT DAY I became a member!! I actually became a 'mens plus' member - which means I have access to an 'exclusive' locker room that has a steam room, sauna and hot tub. It's very nice. The very first time I went into that locker room - as a member - I had to 'act as if'. In other words - 'act as if' that was something I always do and something that I'm comfortable with. It worked!! Sure - I was nervous - especially when all my clothes were off. But I decided not to cover myself up. I walked into the open shower room and there I was - showering with about 5 other guys. And the funny thing is - I didn't FEEL naked!! That may sound strange - but it's true. And no one said anything. No one stared at me. And I didn't get the feeling from any one of those guys [Or from any guy I've seen in that locker room since] that I was 'unacceptable'. I can't even begin to tell you how GREAT that made me feel!! How GREAT that MAKES me feel!! Oh sure - every now and then - a 'super hunk' will walk around naked and I will suddenly feel quite insecure - but for the most part - I'm no better than OR worse than anyone else. It has been a revelation. And now - I look forward to being naked at the 'Y'!! lol Imagine that!! Oh sure - I still have to lose some weight and I guess I'll just have to get used to the fact that it SEEMS as though I have the smallest penis there [lol] but that's OK. [Or at least I'm working on that being OK] And is every guy 'uncut'? lol [Oh well - that's a different topic!!]
So if you are very or even extremely self-conscious of YOUR body - do yourself a favour - and join the 'Y'. [Or some other public gym] I'll take your hand [so to speak] and we can walk in together!! Now keep in mind - I was bullied a LOT when I was in school - especially the first 7 years. And it was my body that people made fun of. It's no wonder I've always believed that I was unacceptable. I'm still struggling with those feelings - don't get me wrong - but I'm on my way to being OK with who I am. [At least physically!!]
Thanks for taking the time to read this!!
GREAT BIG HUG
Craig!!
