im glad i got you to read this. well...here is the deal. ive been out a lot lately and im sorry. i can't say that i will be on more soon, cause i probably won't. my life has suddenly become hectic, and my escape (from my weird life situation) is the net. But thats nothing new. The shockingly new thing is that ive been spending more and more of my time on AIM than on TeenHelp. And those of you who know me well enough that you talk to me online know that i am on AIM all the time, but hey! now i'm actually spending the time talking to people, instead of just being there. Needless to say, i've been talking to some people that are so great to talk to that i neglect getting on TH while talking to them. Instead, i spend my days chatting into the night with these wonderful people.
now, as for my weird life situation that i previously mentioned. heh...well you are in for quite the story. haha!
These past couple of weeks i have suddenly become a guy magnet. I dont know why...maybe its the unusual confidence that has come over me...*shrug* but i really don't know. the fact is that ive had much attention from guys who actually like me...and its odd. haha. so while im basking in this new found treasure that you may call attention-from-others, along comes my ex-boyfriend/friend-all-throughout-middle-school. and he and i talk on the internet for a long time. and we flirt a lot. and, me being the funky spunky funny and cute personality that i am online, he falls for me. haha. so he has a little crush on me, and im meeting him tommorow to see him for the first time in 2 years. ( i went off to boarding school after middle school)
so..meanwhile, about 3-4 other guys (besides my ex) like me...and it blows me away. they ask for my number, and my sn, and so i give it to them. thus taking away from my teenhelp time. heh, im sorry guys. that guy from middle school was like, my best friend, so now we are totally bonding...and i spend late nights talking to him.
summer is coming up though! i get out of school on a half day next thursday and i am completely excited! i can't tell you that i will be spending too much more time on the net...but i'll definetly be spending a bunch. haha, cheesh! i hope i'll have time for the net! haha, with all of my new guy buddies. LOL...i dunno
but at home my mom is a complete overreactor. everyday she finds something to get mad at me about. everyday we get into an argument. its horrible. i saw my psychiatrist in the first time in forever yesterday and i absolutely hated that the entire time was spent talking about my mom. i wish i could tell her about the guys, and my deficiency of friends, and my need to be accepted, and...and...*sigh* my sessions with her never go as planned...and i may never find anyone that i truly trust IRL to talk to about my problems. i mean, i could go on talking and talking about my life to you all...but hey! im sure that most of the people who thought this was important and saw that it wasnt have left by now. haha, and besides...a person to talk to IRL is much better than online.
ive gotten better about seizing the day. im being myself more, and i like it. sadly, i think its because im about to be out of school, and im changing schools next year. i wish i were like this more often...look where it has gotten me! im no longer super-addicted to this site, though i still love you all more than you know. but really, look at shy ole' me as example of how breaking out of your shell (even if only a little bit,even if only just peeking out..) can get you! haha, i have these guys that like me, and a fairly happy attitude about life. its a carefree thing, and i know that my summer will be great because of it. i hope to see you all around the site more often, but i can't promise anything. afterall, i am a guy-magnet now!
Ahh that's awesome Jess! It's great to see some positive stuff like this on TH. I think we need more of it!! But congratulations on morphing into a guy-magnet (tough life being a babe isn't it? muwahahahaha )
Aw Jess, don't leave us hehe. Congrats on this new outlook, doesn't being happy rock your fuckin' socks? Yeah, it rocks mine haha. Being a babe isn't bad, lol. [Aren't we the uberconfident chicas?] :mwah: C-ya around. <3
~The best thing about being happy is thinking that you will never be unhappy again.
Aww Jess! I'm so Happy for you! How'd the meetin go? lol. I think everyone on here understands that the people that type these messages have lifes. We can't hold that against you, but we sure as hell can throw a "comeing out of the SHELL party" for you! lol. We love you Jess!
Late night comes are you home?
No you're not.
You're out with urge to satisfy yourself it's your vicious plot.
Looking back I realize that it's my fault.
I'm not around so your love comes to a halt.
You have no remorse in you.
It's the only thing you know.
You destroy me every time you little cunt.
I never wanted this.
Gave myself to you to get paid back with lies.
Every time I trust you I lose in the end.
I feel disgust in myself.
I love how you can call me and pretend you're innocent,
While I'm out here trying to better myself.
You're a pig when it comes to my emotions.
You drown me in your wake because you have no devotion.
yeah, for those who want to know how the meeting went, well-it didnt. because we couldn't get in touch. but thats okay, haha, our best meetings will just have to continue to be online.
and im not gonna leave for good, haha, though the extreme change from me being one of the top posters everyday to me not posting hardly at all may make it seem like i am gone for good. haha, you can tell im still the same because my thoughts just come out in rambles and sometimes dont make sense. sorry to those who have trouble reading my posts.
anyway, im just chillin around the house, avoiding a guy outside who wants to talk to me (LOL)--the guy whose kiss i declined--
) can get you! haha, i have these guys that like me, and a fairly happy attitude about life. its a carefree thing, and i know that my summer will be great because of it. 
)
lol. We love you Jess!
because we couldn't get in touch. but thats okay, haha, our best meetings will just have to continue to be online.