What You Can Learn...

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Skye
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What You Can Learn...

Post by Skye »

Well, I tried my hardest to resist it...but I need to cause some trouble every once in a while. I'll explode if I don't! With that said, the following topic is being made. :D Sorry ya'll, an admin just wants to have fun. :P This is why porno is so unrealistic. :D



WHAT YOU CAN LEARN FROM WATCHING PORNO!

1. Women wear high heels to bed.

2. Men are never impotent.

3. When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.

4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.

5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.

6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.

7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.

8. Women always orgasm when men do.

9. A blowjob will always get a woman off a speeding ticket.

10. All women are noisy fucks.

11. People in the 70s couldn't fuck unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.

12. Those tits are real.

13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.

14. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum.

15. If there is two of them they "high five" each other. (and the girl isn't disgusted!)

16. Double penetration makes women smile.

17. Asian men don't exist.

18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes, the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth.

19. There's a plot.

20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by giving her a gentle slap on the butt.

21. Nurses suck patient's cocks.

22. Men always pull out.

23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking the both of you.

24. Women never have headaches... or periods.

25. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to "suck it".

26. Assholes are clean.

27. A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.

28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trousers and find a cock there.

29. Men don't have to beg.

30. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.
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CanadaCraig
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Re: What You Can Learn...

Post by CanadaCraig »

Hi Skye!! :)



I'm still laughing - even as I post this message!!!



I've seen enough 'porn' to know EXACTLY what you're saying. Everything you said is absolutely true. No wonder so many people are screwed [pun intended] when it comes to the reality of sex. [well.... those who 'eductate' themselves by watching porn are - at least] Everyone [in porn] is ALWAYS 'ready for it'. No one ever has to go to the bathroom - and no one STINKS!! Every part of a persons body is oh so fresh and lovely. AND when it comes to anal sex [and this applies to gay porn as well] doing 'it' only hurts for 2 or 3 seconds - at most. "Oh oo oh.... awwww..... yes!! lol] Isn't that amazing?! Being a gay guy - I've watched more gay porn than straight porn - but really - there isn't much difference. 'Rimming' [which is licking the anus] is probably the most disgusting sexual thing a person can do. [in my opinion - at least] But there again - every guy - even IF he's been working all day long - and hasn't showered for hours - has a perfectly clean and 'unscented' [shall we say] ass!! Amazing. [and completely unrealisitic] BUT - I guess - who wants reality when they're watching two or more complete strangers have sex?!



Thanks for posting your message!!



GREAT BIG HUG

Craig!! :)
"It takes FAR MORE COURAGE to be KIND than it does to be CRUEL!!"

Be sure to LIKE my Love The Bully Facebook Page!

Please visit 'Cambilar'! It's where you'll find my eBooks!

I am a 54 year old guy from Canada!! :)
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Skye
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Re: What You Can Learn...

Post by Skye »

Oh, cool! :D
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alty411
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Re: What You Can Learn...

Post by alty411 »

It's porn! It's not supposed to be realistic! If it was, do you still think people would be satisfied?
Trust me, I know my shit.



Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P. J. O'Rourke



Random thoughts...
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CanadaCraig
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Re: What You Can Learn...

Post by CanadaCraig »

Originally posted by alty411@May 31 2003, 05:11 PM

It's porn! It's not supposed to be realistic! If it was, do you still think people would be satisfied?


Hi alty411!! :)



You're right - of course. Unfortunately - we live in a society that [for the most part] believes that keeping people in the dark about sex [and what's it's REALLY like] will keep them from HAVING sex. [is there anything more illogical than that??] So for the poor young guy [especially] who knows nothing - a porno film will become his 'reality'. I often get messages from guys who are concerned about the size of their penis. WHY they are concerned often has to do with the guys they have seen IN a porno film.



GREAT BIG HUG

Craig!! :)
"It takes FAR MORE COURAGE to be KIND than it does to be CRUEL!!"

Be sure to LIKE my Love The Bully Facebook Page!

Please visit 'Cambilar'! It's where you'll find my eBooks!

I am a 54 year old guy from Canada!! :)
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Emily
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Re: What You Can Learn...

Post by Emily »

Hahahha.. Funny. funny, funny.
I'm under no illusion

As to what I meant to you

But you made an impression

And sometimes I still feel the bruise

-"Sometimes I still feel the bruise " Trembling Blue Stars Image
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Skye
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Re: What You Can Learn...

Post by Skye »

Good...glad you all liked it. :D
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Barbies are Evil
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Re: What You Can Learn...

Post by Barbies are Evil »

12. Those tits are real.











:falls off compter chair laughing:
TJ[10:13 PM]: no not really..... it's all so.... like wow..... screw steps, you took a fuckin jet pack and strapped it on yourself and rocketed your way forward (thats my big bro)







And I'm going to extremes



Tomorrow I will change



And today won't mean a thing



I'm a bitch, I'm a tease



I'm a goddess on my knees



When you hurt, when you suffer



I'm your angel undercover



I've been numb, I'm revived



Can't say I'm not alive



You know I wouldn't want it any other way



Meredith Brooks-Bitch
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Skye
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Re: What You Can Learn...

Post by Skye »

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Britt
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Re: What You Can Learn...

Post by Britt »

wow skye..i can't believe you jst posted that..lol..its hilarious...


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Jaegermeister
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Re: What You Can Learn...

Post by Jaegermeister »

Sky you forgot one...



-All men, regardless of age, whether they are 18 or 68, can have multiple orgasms and cum multiple times, without ever losing their erection.



TJ
"What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?" --OSB



"Be who you are and be that well" --St Francis de Sales.



Suaviter et fortiter



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Skye
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Re: What You Can Learn...

Post by Skye »

DLtweeds, that's a good one. :)
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sugarpacket
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Re: What You Can Learn...

Post by sugarpacket »

Originally posted by Skye+Jun 6 2003, 10:07 AM--<table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'<tr<tdQUOTE (Skye @ Jun 6 2003, 10:07 AM)</td</tr<tr<td id='QUOTE'<!--QuoteBegin-Heart7799@Jun 6 2003, 09:36 AM

12. Those tits are real.? :falls off compter chair laughing:
Haha, yah...[/b][/quote]



agreed! that's up there on my list of funniest things i've ever read... :woot: :thumbsup: :hug:
kiss, crush, bliss, blush... finally happy. so happy. so lucky.



diaLoGue shrUgGed
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Mau-Mau
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Re: What You Can Learn...

Post by Mau-Mau »

i never watched porn but with all the trash u guys just said about it beleive me i'm not looking forward to it. You ppl aren't good advertisers..loooololo
Maur
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Hara-Kiri
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Re: What You Can Learn...

Post by Hara-Kiri »

Originally posted by Mau-Mau@Jun 21 2003, 08:12 PM

i never watched porn but with all the trash u guys just said about it beleive me i'm not looking forward to it. You ppl aren't good advertisers..loooololo


:blink: :blink:

I cant find the words to express my opinion on that.

But.... :blink:

Seriously :blink:
To feel the wind tearing at my clothes, the elements.

The only truth left in a world of lies and hypocrisy.

The beauty of the abyss.

The anticipation, like anticipating the greatest sex, an existential foreplay.

Looking down into oblivion and voidness.

The ground far, far away as it seems from here, but in reality only a couple of seconds away.

Standing there.

Feeling eternity in a restricted world.

Feeling a decision in a prefabricated existence.
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TimeMachine9906
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Re: What You Can Learn...

Post by TimeMachine9906 »

the only thing i learned from porn is that Im single.





LOL jp i dont watch porn....seriously i dont! : click click of the remote :







lol





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So Dark We Forget Who We Are

And All The Scars From The

Nevers And Maybes Die
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