How Can I Learn To Trust Again?!
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snsareformorons
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- Joined: Sun Jul 20, 2003 11:25 pm
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How Can I Learn To Trust Again?!
Ive had quite a few boyfriends in the past, none incredibly serious, except for a few. These guys have ALL manipulated me and cheated on me. They tell me they care about me, that I am beautiful, they each feed me the same lines and are romantic. I thought maybe I would learn from the first one but I havent! My last boyfriend and I were incredibly close, we had known each other for about a year and decided to go out. Seems he was cheating on me as well. We broke up because he got very stand offish and it really tore me apart how he played my emotions. All of them did. Each one of my xbfs has cheated on me, and now when a nice guy gives me a line or what even seems to be sincere I dismiss it and push them away! Im beginning to get hostile and mean to some, and as far as guys I dont trust them as far as I can throw them. I feel like im becoming more of a stereotypical person by having the frame of mind that all men are pig headed morons and they will never learn cause they are perverts and cheaters and liers. I WANT to believe some guys and what they say. I TRY to, but I CANT! I cant no matter what and its becoming a serious issue. I dont know what to do to try to find a way to trust again. I have tried, and I meet a sweet and caring guy but in the end hes just an actor! I can no longer tell them apart and its killing me! Should I see a counselor? Is there anything that can be done? This is ruining my view of people and Idk how to fix it since I really cant trust another.....
Imagine:
To stand on top of the highest cliff.
To feel the wind tearing at my clothes, the elements.
Looking down into oblivion and voidness.
The ground far, far away as it seems from here, but in reality only a couple of seconds away.
Standing there.
Feeling a decision in a prefabricated existence.
To draw the final breath,
To make that little step,
To know, that for once a decision was made,
To feel one foot above the abyss,
To think for a split second you can float in the air
To feel losing balance,
To fall,
To feel the cold wind violently caress you,
To see the ground coming closer,
Then to doubt
To wish yourself back to the top of the peak
the one that you are pacing away from.
Only to perish, knowing you cannot turn back
To stand on top of the highest cliff.
To feel the wind tearing at my clothes, the elements.
Looking down into oblivion and voidness.
The ground far, far away as it seems from here, but in reality only a couple of seconds away.
Standing there.
Feeling a decision in a prefabricated existence.
To draw the final breath,
To make that little step,
To know, that for once a decision was made,
To feel one foot above the abyss,
To think for a split second you can float in the air
To feel losing balance,
To fall,
To feel the cold wind violently caress you,
To see the ground coming closer,
Then to doubt
To wish yourself back to the top of the peak
the one that you are pacing away from.
Only to perish, knowing you cannot turn back
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Abbi
- Veteran
- Posts: 4251
- Joined: Mon Feb 24, 2003 12:03 am
Re: How Can I Learn To Trust Again?!
I understand what you are going thru and WHY, guys CAN be pigheaded, and most of them ARE, and they play with my emotions also and manipulate me and make it hard for me to trust them anymore, but I also NEVER learn and I keep going back to ones that hold me in their arms and tell me they're not like that and they'll never hurt me, they make me feel so special but once they've got me in their trp they turn on me like they do to you and then it feels impossible to find another, but I don't think theres much to do =\ I mean, it's part of life, and one of these guys will be the love of our life, so I just risk it, and I give them time to earn my trust, although it's hard to avoid being hurt, but theres not much to do, just make sure you know them, and keep an eye on them..sorry if I wasn't much help, I also have a big problem with this issue.
Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair...
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snsareformorons
- Loyal
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- Joined: Sun Jul 20, 2003 11:25 pm
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Re: How Can I Learn To Trust Again?!
no actually you were a big help, i guess maybe i am afraid of maybe finding someone, trusting them, and even giving them my heart and soul and all that just to find out its a repeat and they are cheating on me. they walk all over me and ive snapped and i meet a guy and the first day i go, "i am not having a physical relationship with a guy i am not going out with for more than a year." or some dumb number. i guess if i tell them that and they stick around, it might prove something. i mean i trust one or two guys but they arent fake. they dont tell me what they think i want to hear, and those are my types of guys. thanks for the help, i think it did some good lol
Imagine:
To stand on top of the highest cliff.
To feel the wind tearing at my clothes, the elements.
Looking down into oblivion and voidness.
The ground far, far away as it seems from here, but in reality only a couple of seconds away.
Standing there.
Feeling a decision in a prefabricated existence.
To draw the final breath,
To make that little step,
To know, that for once a decision was made,
To feel one foot above the abyss,
To think for a split second you can float in the air
To feel losing balance,
To fall,
To feel the cold wind violently caress you,
To see the ground coming closer,
Then to doubt
To wish yourself back to the top of the peak
the one that you are pacing away from.
Only to perish, knowing you cannot turn back
To stand on top of the highest cliff.
To feel the wind tearing at my clothes, the elements.
Looking down into oblivion and voidness.
The ground far, far away as it seems from here, but in reality only a couple of seconds away.
Standing there.
Feeling a decision in a prefabricated existence.
To draw the final breath,
To make that little step,
To know, that for once a decision was made,
To feel one foot above the abyss,
To think for a split second you can float in the air
To feel losing balance,
To fall,
To feel the cold wind violently caress you,
To see the ground coming closer,
Then to doubt
To wish yourself back to the top of the peak
the one that you are pacing away from.
Only to perish, knowing you cannot turn back
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JadeiteS
- Dedicated
- Posts: 26
- Joined: Fri Aug 08, 2003 1:13 am
- Contact:
Re: How Can I Learn To Trust Again?!
My friend said, and is a guy, "Trust isn't something that can just be give, it just shows up gradually" So... I think trust is something that will have to be earned from you. And anyone willing to stick with you, and earn that trust, or anyone who does... 's gotta be speical.. maybe someone whom you can love, or just a friend..?
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Rob
- Needs Another Hobby
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- Joined: Thu Apr 24, 2003 4:05 pm
Re: How Can I Learn To Trust Again?!
You're only 15. You actually expect maturity and intelligence from guys your age? Are you neglecting the immense hormone rush most of them are easily influenced by? Seriously, don't let your thoughts run to deep on this subject yet. Wait till you're a bit older, things will change.
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LonelyChica
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Re: How Can I Learn To Trust Again?!
Originally posted by Rob@Aug 8 2003, 08:10 AM
You're only 15. You actually expect maturity and intelligence from guys your age? Are you neglecting the immense hormone rush most of them are easily influenced by? Seriously, don't let your thoughts run to deep on this subject yet. Wait till you're a bit older, things will change.
I have to agree, true i'm just like a 1 1/2 years older then ya, but relationships shouldn't be such a big deal, i mean come on, you have your whole late teens, 20's time frame, LoL, live life a little before you want a serious relationship, you can meet more people, grow as a person. ya know? i've only had 2 boyfriends in my entire life, and both were last year. you don't need a guy right now, (not like boyfriend wise, friends are good) but i think its better to be friends at first, so that you can build the trust between you, and then if you both really like each other go for it. cuz by then you would know how he is. ya know? i know this wasn't the best info, but yeah, LoL, take care, and good luck
Love always,
Danielle Marie
Danielle Marie
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Crazy Bird
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Re: How Can I Learn To Trust Again?!
I totally have to agree with Rob - 15 year old guys are having a spasm of hornyness hormones in them! No offense guys but it is true. I mean who at the age of 15 wants to settle down and have a serious relationship...not many I assume.
They will mature - don't worry. Just give them time.
Also about the trust issue. Trust is earnt! Date a guy for bit - with no strings or attachments...then if you like him keep dating until he stays with ya for a bit. Don't get attached to anyone so quickly. Just keep a distance until you know that they are keepers.
~ Keli xxx
They will mature - don't worry. Just give them time.
Also about the trust issue. Trust is earnt! Date a guy for bit - with no strings or attachments...then if you like him keep dating until he stays with ya for a bit. Don't get attached to anyone so quickly. Just keep a distance until you know that they are keepers.
~ Keli xxx
~ Tell me all your problems & I'll try my best to kiss them all away ~
Now here you go again, you say you want your freedom
Well who am I to keep you down
It's only right that you should play the way you feel it
But listen carefully to the sound
Of your loneliness
Like a heartbeat drives you mad
In the stillness of remembering what you had
And what you lost
Well It's only me that wants to wrap around your dreams
I love you...
Now here you go again, you say you want your freedom
Well who am I to keep you down
It's only right that you should play the way you feel it
But listen carefully to the sound
Of your loneliness
Like a heartbeat drives you mad
In the stillness of remembering what you had
And what you lost
Well It's only me that wants to wrap around your dreams
I love you...
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HAL9000
- Loyal
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- Joined: Mon Jun 16, 2003 10:49 pm
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Re: How Can I Learn To Trust Again?!
Here is a different perspective to consider things from:
Before the relationships began, did you know the guys fairly well? If so, did you know about cheating in their past (if you've had a bunch that have cheated odds are it wasn't the first time they've all cheated)? And, if the first two were answers were yes, is this part of the reason you found them attractive? Think very carefully before answering the last one. Damn near all girls love the idea of converting a player into a loyal servant--girls want a challenge.
As I see it, your options are to forget the idea of a steady, meaningful relationship; to find a guy that you aren't attracted purely for a challenge (difficult); or to swear off guys completely.
I've listened to a lot of girls talk about boyfriends that cheated and the one common denominator is that all knew exactly what they were getting into when the whole thing started, but were too naive to realize that you can't change people.
Before the relationships began, did you know the guys fairly well? If so, did you know about cheating in their past (if you've had a bunch that have cheated odds are it wasn't the first time they've all cheated)? And, if the first two were answers were yes, is this part of the reason you found them attractive? Think very carefully before answering the last one. Damn near all girls love the idea of converting a player into a loyal servant--girls want a challenge.
As I see it, your options are to forget the idea of a steady, meaningful relationship; to find a guy that you aren't attracted purely for a challenge (difficult); or to swear off guys completely.
I've listened to a lot of girls talk about boyfriends that cheated and the one common denominator is that all knew exactly what they were getting into when the whole thing started, but were too naive to realize that you can't change people.