I've Lost The Plot!

[Jordie]

Hey i'm new here and in search of desperate help.



Right,



I met a girl about 12months ago, we met up at college afew months later. We become the best of friends and never left each others sides. This is is my age, gorgeous etc, but has a b/f. Anyway after going out to cinema and stuff, we started to get really close, and she split with her boyfriend. During this split, we went to cinema's, had a great week. Then she went away to her b/f's caravan with his family, they talked and they got bk together. October came, and on the nite of the 9th we kissed. We rolled about, kissing and touching in my bed, she went down on me, such a great nite. We both wanted too, but she was on. So the nite of the 12th, we did. And we did it afew times up till xmas. Since xmas we've done in 3 times maybe, because we knew it wasnt right. But now we hardly see each other, i keep trying and she denies because she know wot happens.



I've asked her how she feels and she says she loves me to bits and would be with me right away if it wasnt for her b/f. She doesnt wanna hurt him again, they been together about 18months now. I cant go on lately, i have lost all control.



Before i met her i never once felt lonely been single, had many g/f's but non effected me like she has. I think about her all the time i arent with her, i think about wot shes doing etc. I have become jealous of her taking to male people etc, i am not a jealous person at all. All in all, i love her to bits and havent looked at another girl in the 8/9months i've liked her.



Recently i asked her about how she felt towards me etc, and the answers were still same. I asked her if me moving away would help, (i have chance to move to newcastle from yorkshire) and she sed she'd be lost without me, which is good cos i arent off! I asked if telling her b/f would change anything (if it came to that) and she said she wouldnt want me too.



I cant go on anymore, i hate myself. I love her to bits and cant have her and its killing me. Some of u will know that feeling probally, i cant tell myself i dunt wanna be with her, cos i do! Argh! We proper fell for each other and i missed my chance in that 2 week, i am kicking myself. I would do anything for her and i think she knows that. I am so hurt, i dunno wot to do?



Any suggestions?



(Before anyone says anything, shes not a slag. There was months behind us sleeping together and these things happen. Its stopped, nuff sed)

[Michie]

Well I dunno what to say. If she still likes her bf so much, than I don't think there's much for you to do other than wait for her.



And if she does like you a lot, she's in a dilemma of whether to choose you and break her bf's heart, or break ur heart.



Maybe you should talk to her.

[Michie]

and welcome to Teenhelp Jordie!

[Jordie]

she's in a dilemma of whether to choose you and break her bf's heart, or break ur heart.

Thats exactly wot she has sed to me. She doesnt wanna hurt either of us. But i cant go on, i dunno how. My mood changes day to day, i love her smile, sometimes it makes me think shes worth the pain and it will pass and other times it reminds me of what i cant have.



I hate myself for it, wish i could be different. Shes off on holiday soon and i dunno wot i can do for 2weeks without her.

[Tifmonster]

Hmm, I think that the most you can do is talk to her, and try to get her to decide. I mean, if she has already decided to stay with her boyfriend, then there isn't really much you can do I guess... I definitely think this one's a complicated situation, and that all you can do is take your time with it. If two people are meant to be together, then they will be together, I truly believe that... so I wish you the best of luck with the situation. Take care!

[Jordie]

cheers! Nice to get some postive direction for a change, lighten's my mood etc. cheers again!