Opinions?
Moderator: Sex & Relationships Moderators
- fallallaroundyou
- Dedicated
- Posts: 21
- Joined: Fri Aug 06, 2004 12:42 am
- Contact:
Opinions?
I know this has probably been asked before, but forgive me because i'm too tired to see straight, much less use the search button. But I was just wondering yalls opinion on age gaps in relationships - like what do yall think the max would be, for something to have a real chance of working?
I mean, I've seen married couples were as much as 35 years apart. Do you think that's extreme? I'm just wondering....like do you guys think that a genuinely good hearted 45 year old man and a 20 year old girl could work out? I'm talking about a real relationship, not just sex. Do you think that age makes a whole lot of difference? Thanks in advance for any replies!
I mean, I've seen married couples were as much as 35 years apart. Do you think that's extreme? I'm just wondering....like do you guys think that a genuinely good hearted 45 year old man and a 20 year old girl could work out? I'm talking about a real relationship, not just sex. Do you think that age makes a whole lot of difference? Thanks in advance for any replies!
Bleeding in silver because red hurts too much
- Kit
- Veteran
- Posts: 2494
- Joined: Mon Jan 05, 2004 1:26 am
- Contact:
Re: Opinions?
Depends. The generations between them leave a lot of veiws on things. It may or may not affect the relationship. In my view, age is nothing but a number. As long as you're happy, no one is getting hurt and it's not going against the law, then I don't see any problem with it.
Email me If you ever need someone to talk to and I'm not online, drop me an E-mail. I'll get it on my phone!
Myspace Want to know more about me? Here's my myspace. You can see pictures of my family, and keep up with my life here.
I LOVE my Son Ethan who is 10 months old and my wonderful husband who is signing up for the Army!
Myspace Want to know more about me? Here's my myspace. You can see pictures of my family, and keep up with my life here.
I LOVE my Son Ethan who is 10 months old and my wonderful husband who is signing up for the Army!
- DaisyLips
- Loyal
- Posts: 99
- Joined: Fri Dec 27, 2002 11:31 pm
- Contact:
Re: Opinions?
Age Shouldnt Matter In A Relationship... yea a 18yr dating a 8yr sounds bad but thats only 10 years.. yes i would wait untill i was older then 18 or 8 but like... it shouldnt matter... my friends parents are 10 years apart... its just a number like sammi said... if they go good together then let them be:)
***SHSU Education Major... Wish Me Luck ... '10***
***He Didnt Mean To Hurt Me, But I Ment To Hurt Myself*** ~~For PostSecert~~
***I Love You Mitchell***
- Jesykah ^_^
- Veteran
- Posts: 1256
- Joined: Mon Nov 15, 2004 11:03 pm
- Contact:
Re: Opinions?
I think age is nothing but a number. Some people even disagree with the relationship I have going on right now with my boyfriend, and we're only about 3 and a half years apart. When we met, I was 12 and he was 15, about to be 16. Now I'm 15 and he's 18 and we're still together. As long as it's really "love" and not just sex, then age doesn't matter at all. Not to me anyway.
<span style="font-family:optima" J E S S I C A [/b]
<span style="color:orange"Jessica's MySpace. Go on, click it.
<span style="color:orange"Jessica's MySpace. Go on, click it.
- iHEAVENn
- Veteran
- Posts: 6271
- Joined: Fri Dec 20, 2002 4:46 am
- Contact:
Re: Opinions?
Meh, my bf is 22, and I'm only 18 lol.
My mom even said last night, age is just a number, of course she was saying that cause it was my b-day lol.
Age gaps aren't really important in relationships as long as both people are mature enough.
My mom even said last night, age is just a number, of course she was saying that cause it was my b-day lol.
Age gaps aren't really important in relationships as long as both people are mature enough.
- XTorn2PiecesLPX
- Veteran
- Posts: 1399
- Joined: Thu Jun 10, 2004 1:15 am
- Contact:
Re: Opinions?
Age aint nothin but a number. I believe that if 2 people are in love and its not all about the sex then go right ahead.....screw age.
xoxox
-Molly
xoxox
-Molly
Cause I am stricken and cant let you go ~Disturbed
The prettiest people do the ugliest things ~ K. West
Do you pull me up just to push me down again ~Mudvayne
And when Im gone just carry on, dont morn, rejoyce everytime you hear the sound of my voice just know that im lookin down on you smiling and i didnt feel a thing so baby dont feel my pain just smile back
The prettiest people do the ugliest things ~ K. West
Do you pull me up just to push me down again ~Mudvayne
And when Im gone just carry on, dont morn, rejoyce everytime you hear the sound of my voice just know that im lookin down on you smiling and i didnt feel a thing so baby dont feel my pain just smile back
- turtbub
- Veteran
- Posts: 5148
- Joined: Sat Jun 19, 2004 6:40 pm
- Contact:
Re: Opinions?
Yeah, I think it depends on the ages though. Like you said, an 18 year old shouldn't be with an 8 year old. But I don't see any problems with an 18 year old and a 28 year old. Or something like that.
If you find the right person, someone who truly cares for you and it's not just physical, then age shouldn't matter.
Is there any specific reason you were asking?
If you find the right person, someone who truly cares for you and it's not just physical, then age shouldn't matter.
Is there any specific reason you were asking?
"Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall." Confucius
Romans 5:8 "God demonstrates His own love toward us in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us."
"If you judge people, you have no time to love them." Mother Theresa
"A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty." Sir Winston Churchill
There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.
Romans 5:8 "God demonstrates His own love toward us in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us."
"If you judge people, you have no time to love them." Mother Theresa
"A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty." Sir Winston Churchill
There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.
- fallallaroundyou
- Dedicated
- Posts: 21
- Joined: Fri Aug 06, 2004 12:42 am
- Contact:
Re: Opinions?
Theres just this person who i'm very interested in, and he returns the feelings. We've known each other for a while now, and ever since we first saw each other, we just sort of...clicked. Our personalities are so closely matched that we can finish each other's sentences and tell what the other is thinking without even speaking. We laugh at the same things, frown upon the same things, and both just enjoy spending time with each other without any sexuality involved. I honestly think i love him, and he feels the same....and even though being so far apart in age could make things tough, i really think we might last a while.
some of my friends have told me that he's just a dirty old man trying to get in my pants, but i know that isn't true. He's never forced me into anything, and almost every time i talk to him, he tells me that if I ever find someone else i'm interested in, to tell him, and I'm free to pursue anyone else I want. He's told me that he doesn't want to hold me back, because he's so old (in his eyes anyways; in my opinion, it's your mentality that makes you old). The simple fact that all he wants is to see me happy tells me more than any romantic words ever could. He says he knows i'll break his heart somewhere down the line, but for now....I really don't want to. Even though he's so much older, it seems like we're perfect for each other, no matter how weird it would look to the world. All I want is for him to be happy, and i'm just afraid because he has so much more to lose than i do.....but thanks for all your replies; they're really heartening.
some of my friends have told me that he's just a dirty old man trying to get in my pants, but i know that isn't true. He's never forced me into anything, and almost every time i talk to him, he tells me that if I ever find someone else i'm interested in, to tell him, and I'm free to pursue anyone else I want. He's told me that he doesn't want to hold me back, because he's so old (in his eyes anyways; in my opinion, it's your mentality that makes you old). The simple fact that all he wants is to see me happy tells me more than any romantic words ever could. He says he knows i'll break his heart somewhere down the line, but for now....I really don't want to. Even though he's so much older, it seems like we're perfect for each other, no matter how weird it would look to the world. All I want is for him to be happy, and i'm just afraid because he has so much more to lose than i do.....but thanks for all your replies; they're really heartening.
Bleeding in silver because red hurts too much
- turtbub
- Veteran
- Posts: 5148
- Joined: Sat Jun 19, 2004 6:40 pm
- Contact:
Re: Opinions?
It seems like he's a really great guy. If there is no sexual stuff involved, like you said, then he isn't just a "dirty old man trying to get in your pants". But, if your friends think that, they may be seeing something you aren't. Just a word of caution. Love is blind, remember that. And your friends care about you and are probably looking out for you.
Try sitting down with one of them and asking why they think he's just trying to get in your pants? That might help you to see something you weren't.
But good luck, dear. And might I ask how old he is? And how old you are?
Hope it works out for you two.
Try sitting down with one of them and asking why they think he's just trying to get in your pants? That might help you to see something you weren't.
But good luck, dear. And might I ask how old he is? And how old you are?
Hope it works out for you two.
"Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall." Confucius
Romans 5:8 "God demonstrates His own love toward us in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us."
"If you judge people, you have no time to love them." Mother Theresa
"A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty." Sir Winston Churchill
There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.
Romans 5:8 "God demonstrates His own love toward us in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us."
"If you judge people, you have no time to love them." Mother Theresa
"A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty." Sir Winston Churchill
There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.
- fallallaroundyou
- Dedicated
- Posts: 21
- Joined: Fri Aug 06, 2004 12:42 am
- Contact:
Re: Opinions?
yes, i know they're only looking out for me. And only 2 of my friends say that, and they both say it's just because they've heard so many stories of old guys taking advantage of people my age. Neither of them have ever met him. If my parents ever knew, they would flip out and never let me see him again.....so i'm keeping it under wraps.
As for the ages....i'm nearly 18 and he's 42....so it looks kind of bad. And I guess i'm inclined to want to be ashamed of it because it's like everything that society's against....but it just feels right. He's like my other half. I just got back from seeing him, actually. So i'm happy. And i get to see him again tomorrow, and spend all day Wed. with him....
As for the ages....i'm nearly 18 and he's 42....so it looks kind of bad. And I guess i'm inclined to want to be ashamed of it because it's like everything that society's against....but it just feels right. He's like my other half. I just got back from seeing him, actually. So i'm happy. And i get to see him again tomorrow, and spend all day Wed. with him....
Bleeding in silver because red hurts too much
- turtbub
- Veteran
- Posts: 5148
- Joined: Sat Jun 19, 2004 6:40 pm
- Contact:
Re: Opinions?
Wow, that is a big age difference! But it does seem that you are really happy with him, so I'm all for it. But, make sure that he really cares for you okay! I don't want to see you getting hurt.
But good luck. I hope you two are very happy together.
But good luck. I hope you two are very happy together.
"Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall." Confucius
Romans 5:8 "God demonstrates His own love toward us in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us."
"If you judge people, you have no time to love them." Mother Theresa
"A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty." Sir Winston Churchill
There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.
Romans 5:8 "God demonstrates His own love toward us in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us."
"If you judge people, you have no time to love them." Mother Theresa
"A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty." Sir Winston Churchill
There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.
- Halo_n_Horns
- Veteran
- Posts: 1036
- Joined: Tue Jun 17, 2003 1:41 pm
- Contact:
Re: Opinions?
Im in a similar situation to u rite now and I just want to say that if youre HAPPY age differences don't matter. You are 18 anyways (im only 16) so there should be no problems with people...
some people are bound to be all eughhh its wrong blabla BUT if its what you both want and youre both happy with it I say its fine.
Age is just a number and another word in the dictionary.
-X-
some people are bound to be all eughhh its wrong blabla BUT if its what you both want and youre both happy with it I say its fine.
Age is just a number and another word in the dictionary.
-X-
- Nikki
- Veteran
- Posts: 1583
- Joined: Mon Feb 03, 2003 3:03 pm
- Contact:
Re: Opinions?
whatever rocks their boat - as long as they're happy together, I have nothing against it.
God kicked in the head so I started a fight, coz I knew I was right! But I learned I was wrong...
- fallallaroundyou
- Dedicated
- Posts: 21
- Joined: Fri Aug 06, 2004 12:42 am
- Contact:
Re: Opinions?
you all have made me feel soooo much better. I was afraid to come on here and get negative reactions and people being grossed out, but it's....nice, not being judged. Thank you all so much. We actually (and kind of accidentally) took the big step on wed., and went all the way. It was like nothing else....i'd had only bad experiences before, with me being unwilling or my partner (both male and female) just not caring enough to take their time. but it was so amazing with him...he took his time and for the first time ever, i had someone else who got their pleasure from satisfying me, and i actually enjoyed it.
Neither of us has any regrets, and it's just brought us closer, and I can't stop thinking about him....I got home from work today and he'd left me 2 messages, wondering how i was and making sure i was ok, telling me he missed me and all....i'm just so happy i found him. And thank you all for your support - it means a lot.
Neither of us has any regrets, and it's just brought us closer, and I can't stop thinking about him....I got home from work today and he'd left me 2 messages, wondering how i was and making sure i was ok, telling me he missed me and all....i'm just so happy i found him. And thank you all for your support - it means a lot.
Bleeding in silver because red hurts too much
- turtbub
- Veteran
- Posts: 5148
- Joined: Sat Jun 19, 2004 6:40 pm
- Contact:
Re: Opinions?
I'm very very glad you're happy and that you guys have come closer together. How ever, since you said you are only "nearly 18" I suggeset you are very very careful. If your parents somehow find out they could charge this guy with statutory rape.
So be careful. And stay happy.
So be careful. And stay happy.
"Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall." Confucius
Romans 5:8 "God demonstrates His own love toward us in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us."
"If you judge people, you have no time to love them." Mother Theresa
"A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty." Sir Winston Churchill
There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.
Romans 5:8 "God demonstrates His own love toward us in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us."
"If you judge people, you have no time to love them." Mother Theresa
"A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty." Sir Winston Churchill
There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.
- fallallaroundyou
- Dedicated
- Posts: 21
- Joined: Fri Aug 06, 2004 12:42 am
- Contact:
Re: Opinions?
yes, i know....so i'm being very careful. It's sad having to hide it from everyone, even our mutual best friend. But she'd be so disappointed in the both of us if she knew. So for now, it's a secret....but i'm happy, nevertheless. Though it will be interesting when my mum asks why i haven't got a boyfriend yet.....
Bleeding in silver because red hurts too much
- turtbub
- Veteran
- Posts: 5148
- Joined: Sat Jun 19, 2004 6:40 pm
- Contact:
Re: Opinions?
Hm. That's tough. But as soon as you turn 18 it's 100% legal and you can share all your happiness with everyone.
They may be against it at first, yes. But you have to tell them to prove that it's a real relationship, you know?
Good luck.
They may be against it at first, yes. But you have to tell them to prove that it's a real relationship, you know?
Good luck.
"Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall." Confucius
Romans 5:8 "God demonstrates His own love toward us in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us."
"If you judge people, you have no time to love them." Mother Theresa
"A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty." Sir Winston Churchill
There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.
Romans 5:8 "God demonstrates His own love toward us in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us."
"If you judge people, you have no time to love them." Mother Theresa
"A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty." Sir Winston Churchill
There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.
- Valture
- Loyal
- Posts: 53
- Joined: Tue Mar 25, 2003 10:24 pm
- Contact:
Re: Opinions?
Well I figured I might as well be the only male to reply on this thread. This is where its going to be the "negative" response. I apologize in adavanced. I honestly don't have too much of an age problem, it just depends on which stage of life the people are in. Like if the guy was 18, just out of highschool, I honestly don't believe he should date a 12 yr old just starting middleschool. It may be 6 years but they are in two extrememly different stages of life. I hate to say it hun, but at 18, and him being 42, you are both at two differnt stages as well. You must of just finished school, and hes been out in the world, working to support himself, having numerous relationships, and so forth. You just said this guy wasn't using you for sex. You both just had sex and I dont think you even mentioned a long term realtionship going on, just being close for numerous years. I mean as its been mentioned before, love is blind, and you may be over looking things that you shouldn't be. It may be mean to say, but I almost have to agree somewhat with your friends. I mean he may be treating you great, but thats exactly what older men do to get younger girls to fall in love with them. This is just a males opinion tho, I mean i've went out with girls younger then me, but the max was 3 years. I guess what can i say, I'm a little more immature then most, and a girl a little younger I can talk to at a more close level. I guess the 2nd thing that might make me biased is because I'd be looking at it like one of my female friends my age going out with my dad. Just be really careful, if he starts to talk about moving in, watch out.
In life, theres always someone for everyone, but what happend if your someone died before you even met them?
- Jesykah ^_^
- Veteran
- Posts: 1256
- Joined: Mon Nov 15, 2004 11:03 pm
- Contact:
Re: Opinions?
I agree. It really is a big age difference... 18 and 42. But if you're happy, he's happy, you're all just a bunch of happy people , then why not? Just be careful, careful, careful.
<span style="font-family:optima" J E S S I C A [/b]
<span style="color:orange"Jessica's MySpace. Go on, click it.
<span style="color:orange"Jessica's MySpace. Go on, click it.
- fallallaroundyou
- Dedicated
- Posts: 21
- Joined: Fri Aug 06, 2004 12:42 am
- Contact:
Re: Opinions?
yes i know, it's hard....keeping it a secret and all. But I truley think he's worth it. He never pushes me into anything, and he's making sure everything's ok with me every step of the way. And he's been through a lot of the same things I go through, so I can always turn to him....he's my shoulder to cry on, my shelter in the storm, the one who can always make me feel good about myself no matter what happens. I've never had that before, with anyone, male or female. And I just feel like it's.....right. I don't know. But however long it lasts, I'm planning to enjoy it to the fullest. Thank you all, for your replies.
Bleeding in silver because red hurts too much