Promise Rings...

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Dobby
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Promise Rings...

Post by Dobby »

Okay, I've been going out with my girlfriend for about 2 and a half months now. I'm a freshman in college as is she and we are having the times of our lives when we are together. The best times we share together are when we are just lying down together and cuddling...good memories. Any who, about 3-4 weeks into the relationship I gave her my old HS ring, to represent my past. Just last week I gave her an old key that I had hung on a chain that I had on my neck that represented, you guessed it, the key to my heart, and also, the present. The next thing I want to give her is something to represent the future, and I could think of nothing better than a promise ring. Even my g/f's friend Lizz has made omment to me about getting her one. Mind you it would be nothing fancy, for God's sake I'm poor, but I know that I would like to get her one sometime. My question is might it be too soon in the relationship do this? I don't think I'd give it to her until about 2-3 months from now, but still, does that seem too early? It doesn't to her friend Lizz, but I think she just wants to see us together...Just looking for some input, and please don't ask me for what I think because I'm all mixed up. One minute I'll say it's time and the next I'll say no way.
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Re: Promise Rings...

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If you thinks its the right time then it is, no one here can tell you whether its the right time or its too early, only you and your heart can.
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Stuck911
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Re: Promise Rings...

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If you feel it's right, go for it.
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Jaegermeister
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Re: Promise Rings...

Post by Jaegermeister »

To me it sounds incredibly cheesy and way to soon to be thinking about getting married, but that's me. If it feels right go for it I guess.



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Dobby
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Re: Promise Rings...

Post by Dobby »

Jaegermeister: I understand where you are coming from, but a promise ring is more of just a promise for the future, it's not an engagement ring. It's more or less just just a way of saying that yes I like being with you and this is my way of saying that I want to be with you, nothing more...at least that's how it is interrupted in my society. Usually it is given out a long time before an engagement ring. It kind of serves as a substute for a high school ring when things are more serious. Here is what one website says:



"It is a custom mostly (but not entirely) followed by Christians, and is a way for young couples to promise that someday (usually at no set date), they will marry. A promise ring usually assumes the marrige will take place over a year from the time of giving. The promise ring comes before the engagement ring, which is given when the couple is ready to begin planning their wedding."



However another website says this "What is a promise ring? A promise to love. A promise to cherish. A promise of friendship. A promise of loyalty. A promise of hope for a future together that is without end. However, the meaning of promise ring gift to the recipient of the ring... love."



So is it too early...depends on which defination you go by...At least that's my thoughts...any others?
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Jaegermeister
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Re: Promise Rings...

Post by Jaegermeister »

I follow more with the first idea of a promise ring. It's a promise of an eventual engagement. And even the second one, it sounds a lot like the vows of marriage. So I mean, I view it as a promise for the future, to be together always, always faithful, all the great marriage crap. Then again, I also have some negative connotations surrounding the idea of a proise ring. Mostly because my sister got a promise ring from this guy who proceeded to con her into marrying him by making her think he could have been deployed to Iraq any day now, when in reality he just turned alcoholic and abusive and they ended up getting a divorce about a year later. So I associate promise rings with low charachters, and i know, it's my problem.



But all that aside, it still sounds way too cheesy for me. I'm just not that type of a guy though. I'm more of a punch you on the arm and say "Hey, I like you." and let that be that.



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nevermindmylife
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Re: Promise Rings...

Post by nevermindmylife »

doesn't in the end, all that matters is what your girl think it will represent? and you better check what she thinks..



to give her a promise ring, when she thinks it means a promise of engagement, and you don't could be devasting to her when she finds that out... or vice versa..



OR if she thinks it means promise to get engaged, she might freak out because it is too soon for commitment...



I don't know, in my opinion, I would at least wait for the one year mark... and I would want my guy to wait that long too (that is, if we had just started going out)
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Dobby
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Re: Promise Rings...

Post by Dobby »

Originally posted by nevermindmylife@Dec 19 2005, 08:30 AM

doesn't in the end, all that matters is what your girl think it will represent? and you better check what she thinks..



to give her a promise ring, when she thinks it means a promise of engagement, and you don't could be devasting to her when she finds that out... or vice versa..



OR if she thinks it means promise to get engaged, she might freak out because it is too soon for commitment...



I don't know, in my opinion, I would at least wait for the one year mark... and I would want my guy to wait that long too (that is, if we had just started going out)

[right][/right]



That's a good point...Since my idea is more of a promise that I'm going to hang around, a promise of friendship, and if she does precieve it a different way things could go very wrong...never thought of that. Guess that's Why I'm here asking for opinions isn't it? I need to try and poke around the idea and see what she says, maybe then I can get some answers. If we're not on the same page then it's gonna have to definately wait for a while. However, if we are on the same page, then I may be looking into this after a while. I have offically decided that it will not happen until at least 6 months, and I stress at least, much to the dismay of Lizz, my g/f's friend. Oh well, what does her opinion matter? I think she just wants us to be together because she was all set to be married at one point in her short life and well...I won't go into it. Who knows?
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