I Can't Stop Thinking About Him...

Have a major crush on that special girl but she doesn't like you in the least? Are you in love with a guy who doesn't even notice you? Whatever it might be, ask here. We'll give you some advice.

Moderator: Sex & Relationships Moderators

Post Reply
User avatar
Shwynsh
Veteran
Posts: 3926
Joined: Sat May 03, 2003 10:28 am
Contact:

I Can't Stop Thinking About Him...

Post by Shwynsh »

There's two things here, and it's kind of a mix of both...



I have suchhh a crush on my brother's best friend. He's 5 years older, which sounds like a LOT, but when I talk to him he treats me no differently than his friends. He seems to like to talk to me- after he'd finish tutoring me in math, he wouldn't go back into the next room, he'd just ask me about things- same thing when he comes looking for my brother in the house and finds me. He is absolutely gorgeous, to say the least. He'll stand close and make a lot of eye contact and give me cute nudges from time to time. I went bowling with him and my brother and a few of their other friends and as I was getting out of the car he said "thank you for coming" and I said "thank YOU for taking me" to which he replied "no problem, come anytime... everytime.." (okay, I'm sorry I'll stop with this little things that he says/does, i just love it :P)



This other guy that I'm seeing, who's a senior, I used to like. I second-guessed my attraction to him one day and that NIGHT he asked me out. I said yes, and made sure he knew that I didn't want the relationship to be a big deal, so it's not. It's really just like friends because I don't see him all that much, and honestly, I don't really want to. Which seems like a problem, no?



Thinking about the older guy, if I were in a relationship with him, I know I'd want to see him all the time, because that's the way I am now. I'm so very attracted to him and want to just tear off his clothing whenever I'm around him. And this got me thinking: should this be the way I feel about the guy that I'm seeing now? And since I don't feel this way at all, is this relationship right for me?



Unfortunately, I REALLY doubt I could ever have anything with my brothers best friend, because... well, he's my brother's best friend, and why would he like a girl in highschool when he could have so much more? But you know when you have that feeling that someone's attracted to you, or likes you... I have that, but I keep pushing it out of my mind because it feels so implausable.



Arrrgh, can you just give me your thoughts on this? If you were in my situation right now, what would you be thinking? I'd appreciate it more than you know, even though this sounds so trivial.



<3 Anna
<span style=\'color:gray\'

.

.

.

.

.

.

"I have a feeling that you're riding for some kind of a terrible, terrible fall. . . . This fall I think you're riding for-it's a special kind of fall, a horrible kind. The man falling isn't permitted to feel or hear himself hit bottom. He just keeps falling and falling. The whole arrangement's designed for men who, at some time or other in their lives, were looking for something their own environment couldn't supply them with. Or they thought their own environment couldn't supply them with. So they gave up looking. They gave it up before they ever really even got started"
User avatar
CausticTears
Veteran
Posts: 2386
Joined: Fri Mar 21, 2003 4:21 pm
Contact:

Re: I Can't Stop Thinking About Him...

Post by CausticTears »

Hey,

You mentioned that you don't feel much of an attraction to the guy you're seeing now... so, that relationship probably isn't working out? If you don't feel an attraction towards the guy/if you don't like him, there's no point to the relationship.



I know how you feel about this new crush, tho. It's frustrating because of all the lusting thoughts you have and stuff... But perhaps, by talking more to him... you guys can form a strong friendship which might lead to a bit more. Do you think if you were ever to date this guy that your brother would get upset? You could talk to your brother about this and let him in on your crush.



Hope that helped some =)
Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.

-Leo Buscaglia



Image

[HT Chat Room ][ HT Articles ]



Image



Image

Get your badges
User avatar
Stuck911
Loyal
Posts: 594
Joined: Mon Jul 21, 2003 7:03 pm
Contact:

Re: I Can't Stop Thinking About Him...

Post by Stuck911 »

Seems like it would be a good idea to ditch your current boyfriend. If you don't really feel for him then it's not worth it. About your brothers friend, it kinda does seem like he likes you from what you wrote. You could try to talk to him about it, maybe as sort of a joke.
DON'T HIT KIDS..... No seriously...... They have guns now



I'm ashamed at what I did for a Klondac bar.......



I want a realtionship I can finally sink my teeth into
User avatar
silvertears
Loyal
Posts: 573
Joined: Mon Jun 02, 2003 9:05 pm
Contact:

Re: I Can't Stop Thinking About Him...

Post by silvertears »

well i would go ahead and say to quite your current bf and go out with the other guy but then you have to consider that maybe if you and your current bf hasnt been going out long then maybe you havent had time to really develop those feelings... and also maybe its just because your going out with someone that you feel like you cant have the other guys and maybe thats what attracts you... and then also you have to consider IF you WAS going out with this older guy, what are you expecting out of it??? you say your lusting over him... well is that what your wanting from him?? sex??? or an actual possiblelife long relationship?



if its sex then i dont think you should... but if your absolutely sure that you bf is not right for you and have no real feelings for him at all and the other is a like a possible soul mate then i dont see why your even asking lol :) good luck
I'm a poor wayfaring stranger

While traveling thru this world of woe

Yet there's no sickness, toil, or danger

In that bright world to which I go

I'm going there to see my Father

I'm going there no more to roam

I'm only going over Jordan

I'm only going over home



I know dark clouds will hang 'round me,

I know my way is rough and steep

Yet beauteous fields lie just before me

Where God's redeemed their virgils keep

I'm going there to see my mother

She said she'd meet me when I come

I'm only going over Jordan

I'm only going over home




~?~My?Photobucket~?~
User avatar
Shwynsh
Veteran
Posts: 3926
Joined: Sat May 03, 2003 10:28 am
Contact:

Re: I Can't Stop Thinking About Him...

Post by Shwynsh »

Thank you guys for taking time out to respond, I really really appreciate it.



The problem is, it's so easy to say "just quit your boyfriend" but I can't really do that. I feel like I totally led him on, which I guess I did, without meaning to and once he found the courage to ask me out, I give him nothing, then dump that. I'd be a complete bitch. I feel like I have to give him SOMETHING before I can tell him this is not what I want... is that wrong?



And it's not so easy to say "go out with this other guy" because for so long I've been "the younger sister", but he doesn't treat me like that anymore. It's definitely not LOVE, but it's definitely more than lust. I just don't know how to show him that I'm interested without being OBVIOUS because he might get freaked out if I'm coming on way too strong. I'm just so doubtful that he could like me... but he seems to be attracted to me in some way. Is that even possible?



Oiii, boys.
<span style=\'color:gray\'

.

.

.

.

.

.

"I have a feeling that you're riding for some kind of a terrible, terrible fall. . . . This fall I think you're riding for-it's a special kind of fall, a horrible kind. The man falling isn't permitted to feel or hear himself hit bottom. He just keeps falling and falling. The whole arrangement's designed for men who, at some time or other in their lives, were looking for something their own environment couldn't supply them with. Or they thought their own environment couldn't supply them with. So they gave up looking. They gave it up before they ever really even got started"
User avatar
SexyLittleDoll
Veteran
Posts: 4657
Joined: Tue Mar 11, 2003 5:51 pm
Contact:

Re: I Can't Stop Thinking About Him...

Post by SexyLittleDoll »

Hey babyyy ... I was suppose to respond to your PM but I am dumb and forgot!!



Anyway..



Alright about the second guy .. what do you think you have to give him ? Sex ?? I hope not because he doesn't deserve that. He asked you out .. BIG DEAL.. it's really not. So you might have lead him on. I am sure that he is thinking the same thing about you.. if there isn't a connection there then he will be able to feel it too. No one really wants to be in a relationship where they don't feel that intense desire to be with the other person. Ya know how you feel when you see your brothers friend.. that I wanna rip his clothes off and jump on him feeling ? If that feeling isn't there with the other guy it's not going to come over night just because you feel like you owe him something. The best thing for you to do would be to be honest with him. Just tell him .. I think you are a really great person and cool guy but I am not really feeling the connection that I need to be in a relationship with someone.. and YES you should be feeling that with him if you with him. Why just sit around and say you want to be with someone when you really don't. One question I always ask myself when I'm in a relationship with someone is.. Will anything ever be able to come out of this? .. most of the time the answer is no...



Alright on to the next boy.. Who cares if he is older than you ? I know I like older guys .. they are so much more mature they don't play stupid games with your head. I can see it being a problem with him being your brothers bestfriend but look at it this way.. maybe there is some kind of connection there. Brothers and sisters are very much alike a lot of time because they were raised in the same house by the same parents.. If him and your brother are such good friends chances are it could workout between you two. If your brother is a cool guy and if his friend really does like you and wants to be in a RESPECTFUL relationship with you .. I don't think it will be a problem. I mean yeah if he tries to get in your pants on the first real date.. your brother will most likely have a problem with that.. but if its just hanging out and everything I don't see why not.



End it with the second guy.. that way even if it doesn't workout with your brothers friend.. you are single and ready for someone new.
Σας αγαπώ μωρό. Σας χάνω, αγάπη εσείς, και θελήστε να είστε με σας .. με την όλη καρδιά μου. AKA SexyMandy
Post Reply