Getting The Spark Back Into A Relationship

Have a major crush on that special girl but she doesn't like you in the least? Are you in love with a guy who doesn't even notice you? Whatever it might be, ask here. We'll give you some advice.

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snowboardgirl_16
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Getting The Spark Back Into A Relationship

Post by snowboardgirl_16 »

My boyfriend and I will be dating for 3 months on valentines day, but already things are kind of losing the "spark", which is weird cause its only been 3 months. I don't know. Last night we didn't know what to do so we ended up just driving around town for a couple of hours just talking and listening to music. To be honest, it was kind of boring. I don't want to break up with him, because I really do like him and I honestly can't see my life without him, but how can I get that, I don't know... feeling back into the relationship? One of my friends suggested doing something big and romantic on valentines day since it is our 3 months, but I'm EXTREMELY against valentines day (and have been since I was 12) and I already told him not to make any plans since I hate the corporate holiday (why be forced to be romantic on one day of the year when it can be done 364 other days of the year?) Another friend suggested renting a hotel room and planning something special.. but we haven't had sex yet, and I don't want to right now anways cause I know I'm not ready for that step yet (although we have done other things.. I'm a virgin, he's not) Any ideas? It's also kind of hard because we both have midterms coming up and his are kind of important cause he's in his 3rd year of university, but reading week is coming up in 2 weeks...
"Could you be the one to find me safe and sound? Love is how it's lost not how it's found. I don't know those eyes, but I see beauty there always. I know it's wrong to love you from afar but it's a craze." Azure Ray



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"It's all about the icing, and nobody cares about what's inside. You could see the outside face, it looks good, it must be great. And I know that's all you see. What would it matter anyway? Cause I can see right through your pretty, pretty skin today." The Early November
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InnocenceLost57
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Re: Getting The Spark Back Into A Relationship

Post by InnocenceLost57 »

Definitely don't go for the hotel room bit until you KNOW you're ready. That's a big step, and don't let anyone make that decision for you.



As for the other bits - what do you guys usually do together? You might have some fun if you find something new to do together, even if it's stupid. Find a park and run around on the playground (just don't scare any little kids!). Go miniature golfing. Go bike riding, though I know it's cold - that might have to wait until later. When it gets warmer, water baloon fights are always fun and goofy.



You say that you "can't imagine life without him" - but how do you see him now? Are you still seeing him in a romantic light or more as a friend? If you're staying with him out of habit, believe me, things can get worse. I hung onto a relationship for eight months after I stopped being interested...it got worse in the end.



So really examine your feelings and think about if you really see him in a romantic light. If you do, that's wonderful. Mix it up a bit - do something out of the ordinary. Maybe pick someplace you've never gone for dinner, visit a party shop and try on costumes, just something fun and goofy that will get you both laughing. However, if you think the romance has gone, if you don't think you can spark it again, you really might want to talk to him about everything you feel and how things can be changed or fixed.



Just try to have fun together...and as always, communication is great, you just need to try to find out how you both really feel and go from there. Just follow your heart, and DON'T let anyone pressure you into sex - it will make the whole thing worse.



Just my 2 cents, hope it helped a little bit. Keep us updated on how things are working out.
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sweetcakes
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Re: Getting The Spark Back Into A Relationship

Post by sweetcakes »

I agree. If you aren't ready for sex then don't do it. That's something that you need to hold onto until you feel you are ready. Try to do things that make both of you happy. and Talk to him, let him know how you are feeling. if things don't get better after a few weeks and you feel that nothings changing then more than likely things will get worse. there isnt much for younger people to do so i do understand where you're coming from with driving around for a few hours. but i mean you can find fun anywhere. you just have to be open. i mean like what was said earlier go to a park and just play around. and the hotel thing isnt a very good idea. most of the time when you go to a room together guys automatically assume thats what you want. and it would probably lead into that if you werent careful. but i mean theres always amusement parks and things like that. arcades and just little games that you can buy in stores. but just be sure to communicate with him about how you are feeling it will probably help out a lot.
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