i need to break up with him... but how?

[ineedhelppleasereply]

Okay here's the thing. I met this guy on the internet through a friend. He lives on the other side of the world. We were really good mates for a while and then he asked me out. It seemed a bit daft because it ws over the internet and I had never met him, but I did really like him. So I said yes. We were going out for a while. I was really happy, had butterflies in my stomach etc. But after a while I broke up with him because I needed to get my life in order and didn't feel like I could be in a relationship. And I still kinda liked this guy in my class, and he started to talking to me. So I thought I could have a change, y'know, shouldn't I be allowed. because i knew him in person and he was really nice and that.



But when I broke up with him he was really upset. This sounds stupid, but he put loads of cryng emotes on msn and that. He said I was the only reason he was alive and stuff. he gave up heroin and getting drunk for me. I felt really bad and didn't know what to say when he asked me why i broke up with him, so we just got back together. All my friends talk to him, so theres no way of getting him out of my life. I don't really want to either. If we broke up I would want us to be good friends still. I think anyway.



I want to break up with him, because the long distance really isnt gonna work. I'm pretty sure he is who he says. I have my reasons. But i really odnt know what to do. He takes it so badly and i feel so bad after. You might think im an idiot because of this, but i can't hurt people. I just cant. Its a fault of mine... lettng people down and hurting them. I feel like thats all i ever do. How can I do this without hurting him? Because I do care about him, but i dont feel that way anymore...

[FiZzBaW]

Friend,



There is really no way you can breakup with someone without hurting them if they do actually like you. I think you should be more concerned with being honest with him and telling him how you feel about the situation.



If I was in your position, I would be quite skeptical of knowing if he is lying or not. There is no real way for you to know if he really gave those things up for you, or if he gave them up at all. Also, unless you talk to him on the phone or see him on web cam, how do you know he was even upset?



I would be quite skeptical. I suggest that you take care of yourself. If you need to break up with him and move on to something more suitable to yourself, then you should do it. and like I said at the top of my reply, be honest. I don't like to hurt people either, but I think its better to be honest then to lie.



-My thoughts

-FiZz



...Keep us updated....

[ineedhelppleasereply]

oh ok thanks



but what if he isn't lying. because the chance are 50/50 here :(

[FiZzBaW]

The question isn't if he is lying or not, that was just something that would be concerning me if I was in your position.



The question is, What do YOU want and what is right for YOU?



You need to make a decision and stick with it.



As far as not hurting him, like I said before, I believe that being honest is the only way to have any type of relationship. The truth may hurt now, but lies only lead to more hurt in the future.



-My thoughts

-FiZz

[ineedhelppleasereply]

yeah ok i get it thanks

[Lena]

I agree with what Fizz said.



Also, he is emotionally manipulating you. It is actually abusive behaviour. You must do what is right for you and only what is right for you. Don't let this guy push you into a relationship you're not happy with by making you feel guilty. Its not fair on you at all.



Take care,



Lena.

[ineedhelppleasereply]

we are officially broken up. he told me he cheated on me with his best mate, but he didnt mean to. she kissed him apparently, as a joke. and he felt really bad and said maybe we should break up because i will never know if he does something again. and he wont know if i do something. didnt make any sense what he said, but i just went along with it and it worked.

[anonymous08]

good for you. i know that might suck, but i hope you find your prince charming.

[FiZzBaW]

I'm glad it worked out alright for you.



Good luck pursuing local relationships, I bet you will find someone deserving of you!



-FiZz