So, recently I've been talking to a friend of mine a lot, and I really enjoy it. I've known her for about 3 years. A few days ago she told me she likes me, and well, I like her too..
Problem is, I'm 4 years older than her. She doesn't seem to care, but for me, it's a big deal. I don't really have a moral issue with it, but I've got really weird parents who find something wrong with everything, blow things out of proportion, and then pretty much threaten me if I don't agree with them. Not like, physical threats or anything, but like, they'll threaten to cut off my financial support for college, stop paying my car insurance, start charging me rent, etc.
I really like her and all, and recently we've developed a great connection, and I really want to date her. She's pretty much in a "I don't give a fuck if there's an age difference" mode, which is great, and I'm almost there too, but yeah...
Uhm... I don't even know where I'm going with this anymore....
What are your thoughts?
4 year age gap?
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Hobofuzz
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Rob
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Re: 4 year age gap?
That's difficult. I have an even larger gap with my current girlfriend, though most of the time I even forget it's there. We have the benefit of broad thinking parents (well, parent on my side) I guess. I was skeptical at first, assuming her parents would disapprove. But they didn't. Her mom is actually very fond of me.
So what I'm trying to say here is that perhaps the impression you have from your own parents might not necessarily be the right one. You could always ask them how they'd feel about it? Stay calm though at all times. If they disapprove at first, don't get agitated or frustrated. Give them time to think about it, and keep seeing her, even if it would be only in a friendly manner for now. Just let them know from time to time how much she means to you.
So what I'm trying to say here is that perhaps the impression you have from your own parents might not necessarily be the right one. You could always ask them how they'd feel about it? Stay calm though at all times. If they disapprove at first, don't get agitated or frustrated. Give them time to think about it, and keep seeing her, even if it would be only in a friendly manner for now. Just let them know from time to time how much she means to you.
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Hobofuzz
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Re: 4 year age gap?
[quote=Rob;488388]That's difficult. I have an even larger gap with my current girlfriend, though most of the time I even forget it's there. We have the benefit of broad thinking parents (well, parent on my side) I guess. I was skeptical at first, assuming her parents would disapprove. But they didn't. Her mom is actually very fond of me.
So what I'm trying to say here is that perhaps the impression you have from your own parents might not necessarily be the right one. You could always ask them how they'd feel about it? Stay calm though at all times. If they disapprove at first, don't get agitated or frustrated. Give them time to think about it, and keep seeing her, even if it would be only in a friendly manner for now. Just let them know from time to time how much she means to you.[/quote]
Yeah, I've been thinking that maybe me and her should just stay friends for now, maybe for a few years. I was talking to her best friend a while ago, and she agrees with me. It's nice to know, however, that her friends approve of me. I often forget just what age her and her friends are, they all seem like they were born a few years later than they should have been.
So what I'm trying to say here is that perhaps the impression you have from your own parents might not necessarily be the right one. You could always ask them how they'd feel about it? Stay calm though at all times. If they disapprove at first, don't get agitated or frustrated. Give them time to think about it, and keep seeing her, even if it would be only in a friendly manner for now. Just let them know from time to time how much she means to you.[/quote]
Yeah, I've been thinking that maybe me and her should just stay friends for now, maybe for a few years. I was talking to her best friend a while ago, and she agrees with me. It's nice to know, however, that her friends approve of me. I often forget just what age her and her friends are, they all seem like they were born a few years later than they should have been.
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FranklinF
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Re: 4 year age gap?
my bf is 8 years older than me if you relly like eachother it wont matter, but the parent thing is an issue, i would ask them their thoughts on age difference, four years isnt all that much
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FiZzBaW
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Re: 4 year age gap?
Friend,
I don't think age is so much important in a relationship as compatibility and maturity is.
What I mean by that is, if you are both mature and both like each other, there isn't really any reason that you should let a number get in your way.
I do have a problem with people dating with large age gaps, when one of the people involved is underage and immature. I don't think, in general, that a 15 or 16 year old should really be dating a 20 year old, cause there are typically major differences there. I can't see myself in a relationship with anyone younger than an 18 year old personally as, I am 20 currently...... but I also have a 16 yr old sister, so that would just be awkward on an entirely different level....
Regardless of my opinion, it all goes back to what I first stated. If the two of you are compatible and mature, and decide you want to be together, thats wonderful!
-my thoughts
-FiZz
I don't think age is so much important in a relationship as compatibility and maturity is.
What I mean by that is, if you are both mature and both like each other, there isn't really any reason that you should let a number get in your way.
I do have a problem with people dating with large age gaps, when one of the people involved is underage and immature. I don't think, in general, that a 15 or 16 year old should really be dating a 20 year old, cause there are typically major differences there. I can't see myself in a relationship with anyone younger than an 18 year old personally as, I am 20 currently...... but I also have a 16 yr old sister, so that would just be awkward on an entirely different level....
Regardless of my opinion, it all goes back to what I first stated. If the two of you are compatible and mature, and decide you want to be together, thats wonderful!
-my thoughts
-FiZz
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Hobofuzz
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Re: 4 year age gap?
[quote=FiZzBaW;488466]Friend,
I don't think age is so much important in a relationship as compatibility and maturity is.
What I mean by that is, if you are both mature and both like each other, there isn't really any reason that you should let a number get in your way.
I do have a problem with people dating with large age gaps, when one of the people involved is underage and immature. I don't think, in general, that a 15 or 16 year old should really be dating a 20 year old, cause there are typically major differences there. I can't see myself in a relationship with anyone younger than an 18 year old personally as, I am 20 currently...... but I also have a 16 yr old sister, so that would just be awkward on an entirely different level....
Regardless of my opinion, it all goes back to what I first stated. If the two of you are compatible and mature, and decide you want to be together, thats wonderful!
-my thoughts
-FiZz[/quote]
Yeah, we've definitely got a strong connection... One of the strongest I've ever had with someone really.. I'm still pondering what I'm going to do... But it's leaning towards either waiting a few years, or just hanging out with her a lot and see where things lead.
Thanks for the advice everyone
I don't think age is so much important in a relationship as compatibility and maturity is.
What I mean by that is, if you are both mature and both like each other, there isn't really any reason that you should let a number get in your way.
I do have a problem with people dating with large age gaps, when one of the people involved is underage and immature. I don't think, in general, that a 15 or 16 year old should really be dating a 20 year old, cause there are typically major differences there. I can't see myself in a relationship with anyone younger than an 18 year old personally as, I am 20 currently...... but I also have a 16 yr old sister, so that would just be awkward on an entirely different level....
Regardless of my opinion, it all goes back to what I first stated. If the two of you are compatible and mature, and decide you want to be together, thats wonderful!
-my thoughts
-FiZz[/quote]
Yeah, we've definitely got a strong connection... One of the strongest I've ever had with someone really.. I'm still pondering what I'm going to do... But it's leaning towards either waiting a few years, or just hanging out with her a lot and see where things lead.
Thanks for the advice everyone