I need advice...
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- Kit
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I need advice...
My husband came home on the 25th. I'd been dreading it because I found out he cheated on me and I knew we had to have a "talk". Last night - shit hit the fan. My brother Aaron and him were with me at home when someone said something and I turned to Matthew and said "Is there something you got to tell me!?" and he said he was hurt that his own wife didn't trust him. I think I have reason not to! This is why:
After all of that, Matthew and I went to our room and I flat out asked him if he had cheated on me and he said he didn't know... Does that make sence to anyone?!? He's 23! He BETTER know what cheating is! I told him what I knew and he just stayed quiet. Aaron came to the door and I went to answer it and when I saw him I jumped into his arms and started crying. My "mom" tried to grab me but I bolted out the door and went down a couple blocks till Aaron came and put me in his car and we went driving. We talked and he assured me that he wouldn't let me get hurt...again. We went back to the house and Matthew was home but "Mom" came out and told me I should call the girl and confront her with Matthew. She even bet me 10 dollars that she wouldn't do it. Well I called her and SHE offered to come over because she had nothing to hide and she wouldn't lie to me(I've known her most of my life). She brought up more than I knew. She was sneaking Matthew into her house through the window after he left my house. Then he'd go and park in the cultisack and wait for her to come out. He admitted to it but when I asked what happened while he was there - neither of them would answer me. I basically got told that I didn't want to know the truth.
I hurt because no one could tell me the truth and it took so long for them to come clean to me... Do you think I should get a divorce or should I work it out? Right now I'm faced with the certainty that I will NEVER trust Matthew again. I'm always going to worry if he's out there doing it again. If he lied to me about going to go see her how can I be so certain that he isn't lying to me about a lot of other things...? I don't know what to do. I hurt... I've pretty much got myself drugged on Xanex and valume to keep myself calm.. What gets even worse is he kept me up till 4am trying to have sex with me... I don't know what to do....What do you guys think?
Sorry this is so long...I just don't know what to do..
After all of that, Matthew and I went to our room and I flat out asked him if he had cheated on me and he said he didn't know... Does that make sence to anyone?!? He's 23! He BETTER know what cheating is! I told him what I knew and he just stayed quiet. Aaron came to the door and I went to answer it and when I saw him I jumped into his arms and started crying. My "mom" tried to grab me but I bolted out the door and went down a couple blocks till Aaron came and put me in his car and we went driving. We talked and he assured me that he wouldn't let me get hurt...again. We went back to the house and Matthew was home but "Mom" came out and told me I should call the girl and confront her with Matthew. She even bet me 10 dollars that she wouldn't do it. Well I called her and SHE offered to come over because she had nothing to hide and she wouldn't lie to me(I've known her most of my life). She brought up more than I knew. She was sneaking Matthew into her house through the window after he left my house. Then he'd go and park in the cultisack and wait for her to come out. He admitted to it but when I asked what happened while he was there - neither of them would answer me. I basically got told that I didn't want to know the truth.
I hurt because no one could tell me the truth and it took so long for them to come clean to me... Do you think I should get a divorce or should I work it out? Right now I'm faced with the certainty that I will NEVER trust Matthew again. I'm always going to worry if he's out there doing it again. If he lied to me about going to go see her how can I be so certain that he isn't lying to me about a lot of other things...? I don't know what to do. I hurt... I've pretty much got myself drugged on Xanex and valume to keep myself calm.. What gets even worse is he kept me up till 4am trying to have sex with me... I don't know what to do....What do you guys think?
Sorry this is so long...I just don't know what to do..
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I LOVE my Son Ethan who is 10 months old and my wonderful husband who is signing up for the Army!
- anonymous08
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Re: I need advice...
samantha, i don't know what to tell you. i don't have any advice. but please take care of yourself, and just remember that we're all here for you.
i hope things work out.
i hope things work out.
You couldn't be suicidal if your life depended on it.
there i go again, pretending that i'll fall
don't call the doctors!
they've seen it all before
they'll say just let her crash and burn
she'll learn
the attention just encourages her.
- Dresden Dolls "Girl Anachronism"
there i go again, pretending that i'll fall
don't call the doctors!
they've seen it all before
they'll say just let her crash and burn
she'll learn
the attention just encourages her.
- Dresden Dolls "Girl Anachronism"
- Spitfire
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Re: I need advice...
Its a really hard decision to make. Choosing the right action to make might not be easy, but dont jump on a decision. Personally if it were me, I would be hurt enough to not want to be around him for a while, but if loves still there I'd want to try to work it out..only after everything has come clean, if your both willing, and he makes some major..major changes. After that..I dont think Id be able to handle anymore misfortunes.
Id also be just as upset at a lifelong best friend sleeping with my husband as the husband who cheated.
Id also be just as upset at a lifelong best friend sleeping with my husband as the husband who cheated.
Blame it on the yellow bananas..they just sit there..all..yellow-like!!
~FRODO THE FLYING PEANUT~
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Dont Make Me Eat Your First-Born Child!!
~FRODO THE FLYING PEANUT~
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Dont Make Me Eat Your First-Born Child!!
- Kit
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Re: I need advice...
Her and I are no longer friends. And my decision on my case with Matthew is still the same unfortunately. I'm leaning more twords divorce but a lot of that has to deal with the fact I caught him in another lie, and I actually feel sorry for the way I've been treating him... But I can't help it cause I'm hurt. *sigh* I hate him right now... I don't think that will ever change...
Email me If you ever need someone to talk to and I'm not online, drop me an E-mail. I'll get it on my phone!
Myspace Want to know more about me? Here's my myspace. You can see pictures of my family, and keep up with my life here.
I LOVE my Son Ethan who is 10 months old and my wonderful husband who is signing up for the Army!
Myspace Want to know more about me? Here's my myspace. You can see pictures of my family, and keep up with my life here.
I LOVE my Son Ethan who is 10 months old and my wonderful husband who is signing up for the Army!
- nao sozinho
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Re: I need advice...
Maybe Mariage Counceling..?
[CENTER]Finding Nemo!![/CENTER]
[CENTER](Inside Whale)[/CENTER]
[CENTER]Marlin: The water is half empty![/CENTER]
[CENTER]Dory: Hmmm. Really? I'd say it's half full.[/CENTER]
[CENTER]Bruce: All right, anyone else? Hello, how 'bout you, mate? What's your problem?[/CENTER]
[CENTER]Marlin: Me? I don't... I don't have a problem.[/CENTER]
[CENTER]Bruce: Oh. Okay...[/CENTER]
[CENTER]Anchor: Denial.[/CENTER]
[CENTER][/CENTER]
[CENTER]*.:.*Brittany Nicole*.:.*[/CENTER]
[CENTER](Inside Whale)[/CENTER]
[CENTER]Marlin: The water is half empty![/CENTER]
[CENTER]Dory: Hmmm. Really? I'd say it's half full.[/CENTER]
[CENTER]Bruce: All right, anyone else? Hello, how 'bout you, mate? What's your problem?[/CENTER]
[CENTER]Marlin: Me? I don't... I don't have a problem.[/CENTER]
[CENTER]Bruce: Oh. Okay...[/CENTER]
[CENTER]Anchor: Denial.[/CENTER]
[CENTER][/CENTER]
[CENTER]*.:.*Brittany Nicole*.:.*[/CENTER]
- Wheretogo
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Re: I need advice...
*hugs* gumdrop that is horrible. I am so sorry he did that. I would divorce his ass, but its all up to you. how you feel, and if you think its worth working out. Hey, text me if you want me to call you.
Why give up, why give in?
It's not enough, it never is.
So I will go on until the end.
We've become desolate.
It's not enough, it never is.
But I will go on until the end.
I've lost my way.
I've lost my way, but I will go on until the end.
Living is hard enough
Without you fucking up.
Until The End - Breaking Benjamin
It's not enough, it never is.
So I will go on until the end.
We've become desolate.
It's not enough, it never is.
But I will go on until the end.
I've lost my way.
I've lost my way, but I will go on until the end.
Living is hard enough
Without you fucking up.
Until The End - Breaking Benjamin
- CausticTears
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Re: I need advice...
Hey hon,
Difficult situation you are in, huh? It's definitely hard to decide whether to try to work things out or choose a divorce. With all the pain he's put you through, a divorce sounds good... doesn't it? Honestly, it's up to you to choose what you feel is best... in YOUR interest. Meaning, what would make YOU happy in a healthy way?
Either you can give him a chance... but obviously not right now, since I would think you need space away from him?... and leave it up to him to prove he loves you and try to start over. Or you could divorce him, if you feel like you need to.
Or like someone else mentioned up above, maybe even marriage therapy could possibly help out... that's really not a bad idea either.
Difficult situation you are in, huh? It's definitely hard to decide whether to try to work things out or choose a divorce. With all the pain he's put you through, a divorce sounds good... doesn't it? Honestly, it's up to you to choose what you feel is best... in YOUR interest. Meaning, what would make YOU happy in a healthy way?
Either you can give him a chance... but obviously not right now, since I would think you need space away from him?... and leave it up to him to prove he loves you and try to start over. Or you could divorce him, if you feel like you need to.
Or like someone else mentioned up above, maybe even marriage therapy could possibly help out... that's really not a bad idea either.
Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.
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- Kit
- Veteran
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Re: I need advice...
He refuses therapy... He's not even really trying I guess... Thanks you guys.. I'm trying I really am.. but I don't think I can do it..
Email me If you ever need someone to talk to and I'm not online, drop me an E-mail. I'll get it on my phone!
Myspace Want to know more about me? Here's my myspace. You can see pictures of my family, and keep up with my life here.
I LOVE my Son Ethan who is 10 months old and my wonderful husband who is signing up for the Army!
Myspace Want to know more about me? Here's my myspace. You can see pictures of my family, and keep up with my life here.
I LOVE my Son Ethan who is 10 months old and my wonderful husband who is signing up for the Army!
- Wheretogo
- Veteran
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- Joined: Mon Jan 26, 2004 2:45 am
- Contact:
Re: I need advice...
if you dont think you can do it then dont. You have to do what is in your best interesting and what will make you happy. ITs entirely up to you and how you feel and what you think is best.
Why give up, why give in?
It's not enough, it never is.
So I will go on until the end.
We've become desolate.
It's not enough, it never is.
But I will go on until the end.
I've lost my way.
I've lost my way, but I will go on until the end.
Living is hard enough
Without you fucking up.
Until The End - Breaking Benjamin
It's not enough, it never is.
So I will go on until the end.
We've become desolate.
It's not enough, it never is.
But I will go on until the end.
I've lost my way.
I've lost my way, but I will go on until the end.
Living is hard enough
Without you fucking up.
Until The End - Breaking Benjamin