Healthy?

Have a major crush on that special girl but she doesn't like you in the least? Are you in love with a guy who doesn't even notice you? Whatever it might be, ask here. We'll give you some advice.

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Lostinhersong
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Healthy?

Post by Lostinhersong »

Alright once again I'm back with the same problem only worse...



My girlfriend, Brittni, has gotten to be so controlling, that I have to lie in order to hang out with my friends. She says that if I love her, that I shouldn't want to hang out with anyone else other than her.



She has forbidden me from: running cross country at my college, running track this spring, being in the pep band, joining the national guard (I made the band...so fucking dangerous!), watching Tila Tequila on Tuesday nights with my friends, and being friends with about 8 people...



Is this healthy?



What should I do?



Can anyone help me??
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Brittni: -rips pants off of me-

Me: HEY! I was wearing those!

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Rivv
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Re: Healthy?

Post by Rivv »

I think you two need to have a serious talk about all of this.

Tell her how you feel about her controlling you like that.

Hopefully she'll loosen up the grip on you.
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InnocenceLost57
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Re: Healthy?

Post by InnocenceLost57 »

This is totally unhealthy and I'm glad you've recognised it as such.



These are some serious warning signs. If she's controlling you this much now, it will only get worse. This kind of possessiveness is an indication that it could easily take a turn for the worse. Please PLEASE talk to her about it, and seriously think about getting out of the relationship if she won't back down. Trust me, if she's not willing to compromise, it won't get better.
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FiZzBaW
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Re: Healthy?

Post by FiZzBaW »

Friend,



NO, it is NOT at all healthy.



If I was you, I would run and keep running away from that relationship.



However, if you do really love her, I would suggest that you have a talk with her, let her know that everyone needs and deserves friends and their own personal space. If she is not willing to allow you that right, then I don't think you should stay in that situation. She apparently has some trust issues or is just extremely jealous. The loss of your social life and friends is not worth it in my opinion.



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vkitty21
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Re: Healthy?

Post by vkitty21 »

I think you know the answer. Does she know about your indiscretion? If so, perhaps some of her reactions are understandable, but it isn't 'normal'. A couple needs to have things they share and things that they do on their own. Insecurity over your desire to do things without her will only lead to control and freedom issues. You love her, but how can you be happy if you can't be yourself?



I wish I had some advice about how to make her see this. If she is going to be joining you next year in college, I think it will be easier. She will have her own things and you will have yours, and you can meet and enjoy sharing your separate experiences and the things you do together.



Good luck,

Trish
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SammyWhammy
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Re: Healthy?

Post by SammyWhammy »

what she is doing is called emotional blackmail. it is very unhealthy
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Kit
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Re: Healthy?

Post by Kit »

I agree with everyone else - It's very unhealthy and it's time for you to set some ground rules within a serious talk that I beg you to have with her. You need to be treated with some respect and as a human. If she loves you - she will understand and make the change; if not, it's time to leave.
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