Thoughts??

[Michie]

Hi guys.



A few days ago when I was working (grocery store cashier), a very cute guy caught my eye. He looked quite interested. (His father was hinting strongly about him and I, which was very weird). I'm 21, and the guy looks around his mid twenties. After being very friendly to me at the cash, he ended up giving me his phone number and I gave him my email address. Why? Because it was nice being noticed and complemented, and he looked like a nice guy.



But here's the thing. I'm technically taken. I have a bf, a very loyal, kind bf. I'm not interested in 'dating' the guy, per se. But I have a really small circle of friends and I'd like to expand it once in a while, you know? My bf has been hurt in the past when other girls got to know some other guy and they ended up dumping him for their new fling. And I don't want to do that to him.



Should I tell him about this guy I met? I'm afraid it'll worry him. At the same time, I haven't dated much in my life and it's nice to see what other peoples are out there, even if I just go out for a coffee or something. Should I call/email the guy back and tell him I'm taken, but would like to get to know him anyway as friends?



Thoughts/Suggestions/Comments ?

[anonymous08]

emailing the guy back and telling him you want to hang out as friends sounds like a good idea. that way you don't lead him on.

[Michie]

The guy's already sent me an MSN message with flowers. Oops.



(I have yet to call him or message him).

[Lostinhersong]

Uh-oh...

Not good.

E-mail him with the situation.

[Michie]

I'm hesitant to email him...oy. But I will.



In the meantime, I have a feeling my bf and I will be having a serious talk the next time I see him. Last night I had a conversation with my mother (actually, she talked, barely listened to me, but it doesn't matter), and my 'bf' isn't treating me well at all. Not that he's a bad person or anything. He never takes me out (we've been 'going out' for four months, and we've been 'out' maybe three times). He either comes to my house or I go to his, and it's always my initiative. He claims we can't make plans because our schedules aren't that great (I often work weekday nights, he used to work many saturday nights). But if he really wanted to treat me, he'd plan something anyway, even during the day, or far in advance. And honestly, a good bf shouldn't have to be pushed by his gf AND/or his own sibling to talk his gf out for dinner.



All we do is hang out at eachother's places, watch tv, and engage in physically intimate sessions. If he really saw me as just a 'friend with benefits,' he shouldn't have started calling us bf/gf. Since I've known him for about 8 years and have been friends with him for quite a period of that, our relationship feels more like Friends-With-Benefits. It didn't move further into something else.



Tell me if I'm being picky or selfish, but I don't feel like this relationship is going anywhere.

[anonymous08]

that sounds perfectly reasonable to me.

[Michie]

Okay so here's the email I'm planning to give to the first guy (not my 'bf'). Tell me if it's okay.



Hi M it's Steph



I'm doing okay how are you? I am sorry but I haven't been on MSN lately.

Also, I hope you're not upset but I'm in a relationship right now. I'd still would like to get to know you or be friends.