Okay. So since December this guy that I work with and I have been seeing each other. But we aren't exclusive. Like we don't have any kind of title whatsoever on it. He is also a bit older than i am. I am 19 and he is 28. Now, he told me when we first got involved that he didn't want to get involved with me even though he liked me alot because
A) we work together and his last 2 meaningful girlfriends ( which were all 2+ years) had worked with him and it was awkward when they broke up because he had to see those girls with other guys.
both of those girls also cheated on him...ended up prego..and then tried to come back to him.
Both of these things in conjunction have given him a severe committment complex. And it really sucks that I am paying for these other girls mistakes. But even though there is no kind of title on us, he isn't seeing any other girls and I know im not seeing any other guys. And its not like we are just talking or anything. We have all the basics and some of the ammenities of a proper relationship, we hang out we flirt we have slept together and still do we joke around with each other and we support each other.
And he does everything that a boyfriend does. But tonight I had a panic attack and freaked and he made me feel better and later i texted him and said thank you and told him that it meant alot that he made me feel better and calmed me down, and he said "what are friends for?":eek:
When ALL of the signals and even his actions clearly say we are MUCH more than friends.
I guess I want to know how to approach the subject of becoming official with him without pushing him. Because I would rather be with him with no title like it is than not be with him because I said something that pressured him too much. Like I know that the idea of committment scares him but I think its because he is afraid I would be like those other 2 girls...
How do I make him see that I'm not? That I wouldn't treat him like they did because he doesn't deserve that.
more than friends?
Moderator: Sex & Relationships Moderators
- RockNpUnKchic123
- Loyal
- Posts: 481
- Joined: Mon Feb 16, 2004 9:56 pm
- Contact:
more than friends?
Oh, you are the roots that sleep beneath my feet
And hold the earth in place
Each time a faucet opens
Words are spoken
The water runs away
And I hear your name
No, nothing has changed
There was this book I read and loved
The story of a ship
Who sailed around the world and found
That nothing else exists
Beyond his own two sails and wooden shell
And what is held within
All else is sure to pass
We clutch and grasp
And debate what's truly permanent
But when the wind starts to shift
Well, there's no argument
And hold the earth in place
Each time a faucet opens
Words are spoken
The water runs away
And I hear your name
No, nothing has changed
There was this book I read and loved
The story of a ship
Who sailed around the world and found
That nothing else exists
Beyond his own two sails and wooden shell
And what is held within
All else is sure to pass
We clutch and grasp
And debate what's truly permanent
But when the wind starts to shift
Well, there's no argument
- rockerchick
- Loyal
- Posts: 278
- Joined: Mon Aug 04, 2003 1:46 pm
- Contact:
Re: more than friends?
Communication. I know that's the most cliche thing to say, but it's true. In order to have a real relationship, you need to be able to communicate about anything and everything. Tell him how you feel, but since you say you'd rather have him w/o the title than not have him at all, don't pressure him into being exclusive. Just tell him how you feel, and you two should have a serious discussion about it. Also, remember that actions speak louder than words. Don't just tell him you're not like the other girls, find a way to show him that you're different. Just a thought
Sometimes you're the dog...sometimes you're the hydrant
~*~Katie~*~
~*~Katie~*~
- FranklinF
- Veteran
- Posts: 2788
- Joined: Tue Jun 03, 2003 6:16 pm
- Location: Kansas City
- Contact:
Re: more than friends?
wow i am sorry it has taken this long to respond, did you talk to him?
ita with pp
ita with pp
[center]Every once in a while, you stop in moments.
The ones that are life changing.
They edit your thinking.
They make your heart grow.
[/center]
The ones that are life changing.
They edit your thinking.
They make your heart grow.
[/center]