how do i move on, or should i keep trying

Have a major crush on that special girl but she doesn't like you in the least? Are you in love with a guy who doesn't even notice you? Whatever it might be, ask here. We'll give you some advice.

Moderator: Sex & Relationships Moderators

Post Reply
User avatar
dont_get_me_wrong
Member
Posts: 7
Joined: Sat Oct 04, 2008 7:33 am

how do i move on, or should i keep trying

Post by dont_get_me_wrong »

Well basically



this new girl came to school, my mates new her before that for awhile and one dated her etc, there all good friends



after awhile i got to know her and we became really good / close friends and yer, then she got a boyfriend, and thats when i started to like her more than a friend , which was bad timing



anyway its been like this for awhile heres the short version in order



she got a boyfriend, i liked her more than a friend, i told her i liked her, she told me she liked me before her boyfriend, she was going to dump her but he dumped him, she cried, we didnt go out..dunno why , she likes another guy and he sorta likes her and she wont go out with me but she flirts with me when she comes over and holds my hand, hugs me , tells me stuff etc as if we where going out



but the thing is ...i want to give up because i dont think she will ever go out with me and she likes another guy but i cant get over her and i will never be able to like her as a friend again , its either love, or hate or friends...but if the flirting stops and that would take awhile



:confused: nevermind...this is to long
User avatar
The Eagle
Member
Posts: 4
Joined: Sat Oct 11, 2008 4:13 pm

Re: how do i move on, or should i keep trying

Post by The Eagle »

Hi there.



First off, I just want to say that what you have written here isn't too long. When we try to seek advice from our peers, a one or two sentence request will not suit out wants and needs. The only way to receive proper advice about whatever it is that you need help with, is to provide as much information and detail as you can without feeling uncomfortable doing so. Believe me, I know that this must be really difficult for you to do and I'm sorry that you're experiencing this type of situation. I want you to remember that you're never alone, no matter what happens. There will always be people who truly care about you and therefore, want to help you in any way that they can.



Honestly, it seems like this girl is playing games with you. I don't really mean to sound harsh or anything but what she's doing to you is not right. It seems like she's using you to be affectionate with but when it comes down to going out with someone, you're always in second place. That's not fair to you and therefore, she really shouldn't be doing that to you. I understand that you like this girl an awful lot. However, once a girl knows that a guy likes her, sometimes she uses that to her advantage. Unfortunately, many girls take advantage of guys in your situation. It seems like she may be doing that to you. Don't get me wrong, I really have no right to judge this girl as I do not even know her. I'm merely giving you my opinion on the situation as I see it according to the information that you've given us here.



Have you tried talking to this girl about it? I know that may be difficult for you to do but you really need to try your best. If I were you, I'd be open and honest with her. Tell her exactly how you feel and give her the opportunity to do the same. If she doesn't like you in that way, please don't get down about it. I don't mean to sound cliche or anything but please keep in mind that there are many other girls out there. I just don't really want you to get down because of this. The life of a teenager can be very stressful and may become overwhelming. Many people don't actually realise this. Unfortunately, when things become very stressful for teenagers and young adults they do not know how to cope with these situations effectively. Therefore, they tend to resort to unhealthy coping mechanisms in order to deal with their problems. Please remember that there are healthy, effective ways to cope with issues.



To be honest, I don't think that this girl is good enough for you. It doesn't really seem like she treats you with respect and like I said earlier, it seems like she's taking advantage of you in a way. You don't deserve to be treated this way. You sound like you're a very mature and intelligent individual and therefore, you deserve nothing but the best. I wish you all the best. Please realise that you are worth so much more than this. You deserve to be with someone who will love and respect you just as much as you do for her. I am not saying that this girl is a bad person but I am saying that I don't think she knows what she wants right now. With that said, I do not believe she can hold a relationship with someone because she is not one hundred percent sure as to what she wants. That uncertainty will not only affect her in a relationship but will also truly affect her partner in the relationship as one or both people may end up getting hurt. I don't want that for you.



I know this must be really difficult for you to deal with but you need to think about this situation logically. Yes, it may be difficult to get over her at first but time heals all wounds. You will eventually get over her. You really have to try and be as positive and as optimistic as you can be. That's really the only way to get through this type of situation. I really hope everything works out for you. I hope I've helped. If you ever need anything at all or feel the need to discuss this further, please don't hesitate to contact me any time as my inbox is always open. Good luck.



Take care and just keep smiling.



TE
User avatar
dont_get_me_wrong
Member
Posts: 7
Joined: Sat Oct 04, 2008 7:33 am

Re: how do i move on, or should i keep trying

Post by dont_get_me_wrong »

Hello, Thank you for the reply TE



me and her are just friends now and i have finally moved on, i got over her yesterday



i mean after the self harm and depression i went through i decided to think of the bad things shes done as a strategie to getting over her, so instead of loving her, now i sort of hate her :) now my plans are to get back up to best friends



all is well, thanks again. cya :)
Post Reply