Rant On Relationships

[Beachatnight]

Everytime I read these stupid little posts about what girls want and about how much of an asshole their boyfriends are, or any of that crap, I get angry. All they ever want is someone "good looking" and "sensitive" and all that good stuff. Then, all they ever complain about is about how they want their ex's back, or how they still have feelings, or any other inane cliche they use to lament works of their own doing. Well, let me tell you a story.

I had a girlfriend. She was great, the relationship was great, life was great. We went out for a long time, and the relationship actually seemed like it had some substance to it. It was a first for me. We even said those three magic words. But, let me tell you, I should've boxed my own ears before she said it. It was complete crap, and she didn't feel anything for me. She said that she loved me. Then, things went sour. I encountered some family problems, and she refused to deal with me while I was upset, so I got dropped. Now, all I read are these stupid posts about that exact thing. But, let me tell you something else.

I was that boyfriend. I don't mean to sound arrogant, but I'm a great boyfriend. I bought her flowers on random occasions. I surprised her after work. I wrote her some of the best stuff that I've ever written. I paid attention to her. I never let her down. I never forgot any obscure idiosyncrasy that she told me about. I never pressured her for sex. I respected her. I helped her out. I helped her study. I did whatever she wanted. I went all out. I gave her my heart. And she...

Well, she chose to break it.

From that one incident, she somehow forgot all her feelings. In one stupid weekend, I was a thing of the past. I even went after her. I brought her flowers, and she refused them. I wrote her notes, and she tore them up. I tried to be her friend, but she never returned any of my calls. We don't even talk anymore, and she has no regrets. She will forget me and it will be no loss for her. And now I read all these posts about the asshole boyfriends. So let me tell you something.

Be there for the ones who care, boys and girls alike. Even if you find someone else, don't be tempted. Be loyal to the ones who are loyal to you. And if your boyfriend or girlfriend is an asshole, then don't put up with it. If they aren't, don't break their hearts. Don't even think of uttering those words unless you truly mean them. The damage that will be caused will never heal. And finally, be tolerant, bad moods clear up, and people don't change that quickly. Even if you hit bad times, don't call it quits unless you've exhausted every other option. Because, let me tell you.

It's a hell of a lot better than this.

[Sk8r_4_LiFe]

yea its not right to say i love you unless u truly mean it. however its hard if one person says i love you and the other doesnt really mean it.

[unoshawty]

you know that's really moving. really, it is.

[mookie]

Originally posted by Sk8r_4_LiFe@Jul 27 2003, 09:24 PM

yea its not right to say i love you unless u truly mean it.

i agree, love is a word that shouldnt be thrown around so lightly.

[She]

Yeah, heartbreak sucks.



How do you know she didn't mean it before and she changed? Or maybe you changed. Or maybe you both did. Or maybe she didn't want the boyfriend that called all the time and wrote mushy notes and gave her flowers and succumbed to her every whim. It gets old.



I'm not trying to be harsh, it's the truth. Maybe she just wanted someone she could be real with. Maybe she's not the type of girl who wants to be treated like a princess. Sometimes love doesn't mean always being nice--I would much prefer a boyfriend I could debate against over one I could exchange love-notes with.



There are plenty of girls who would love to be treated like princesses. Perhaps she's just not one of them.



*snugs*

[The Spark]

your situation is quite like mine. my girlfriend recently broke up with me. she's been away for the summer, so we havn't seen each other in a month. we talked about this and said that we'd be able to work through it and pick things up where they left off. well, surprise, they didn't. i get a text message on my cell phone and its all saying how she needs time to herself, which i can respect, but i dunno...i didn't expect it. we had a really great relationship, too...4 months strong. she also said that she 'needed a break'. i dunno what i did...i feel what your feeling, beachatnight. it sucks

[Sk8r_4_LiFe]

sometimes its hard to know exactly what another person is feeling, because each person is different, thats why communication is so important.

[Beachatnight]

From my point of view, she's the one who changed. Hell, the only reason why I kept doing the whole notes and flowers thing was because she loved it so much, at least she said she did. Besides that, everything she said about everything we ever talked about is different now. You see, she's moving and going out on her own. She's moving and when she does, I'll never see her again. We used to talk about this while we were still going out, because it was her plan for a while. She was always like "well, even if we're not together when I move, I'll still come visit you" or "even if we're not together, we can still talk. I'll give you my address and directions so you can drive up!" It was all crap though. Since then, she's invented so many reasons to dislike me. She seems determined to get a head start on forgetting me. I happened to pass her on the road once, so she immediaely thought I was following her. She said I wasn't "religious" enough for her, and she isn't religious at all. I asked her if I could see her again before she moved. Her answer was a sour "maybe." It's a far cry from everything she ever talked about regarding the subject. But whatever, she's moving at the end of the week, so my mind is set. I will see her again, no matter how much it annoys her. Because, you know what? I don't care if it sounds immature or clingy, but I have no doubts in mind that once she moves, she will never even try to contact me again. I'll try to at least make some kind of impression on her that might last, even if it's a bad one. It hurts a lot to be forgotten.

[She]

It also hurts a lot to forget.



You know why she's inventing all those reasons? Because you were a great boyfriend, but she needs to move on for some reason. And by far the -easiest- way to get over a relationship is to start cursing them out, ranting about every little thing they do that you hate, finding all their flaws... why? Because when you date, you're used to picking out every wunnerful beautiful fabulous thing about them, and thinking about how great they are. When you break up, you still have all that to remember. So how can you get over the fact that they're still great? Find some ways they really -aren't- great. That's what she's doing. she wants herself to believe you suck.



Really, she may be handling it a little immaturely, but you need to think about this too. If she really wants to move on, try to respect that. She didn't use a whole lot of tact, but if you can forgive her, then respect her wanting to leave, then you'll find it a lot easier to get over her and maybe she'll even realize you're not so bad. Or, you can start hating her too. As I said, that's the easiest way to get over a relationship. So that works too.

[Beachatnight]

She has no respect for me. I truly believe that she has no problem ignoring me. I thought about the whole "make me dislike him" thing, but I don't buy it. If respecting her means ignoring her, then I can't do that. Once she leaves, she's never coming back for me anyway. So, I'll leave the forgetting part until it's shoved in my face, which is really soon anyhow.