A Psycho Best Friend

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Nicolette_Evans
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A Psycho Best Friend

Post by Nicolette_Evans »

Oh man, where to even start on this. I've had a best friend for about 2 years now and the 1st year was great, everything seemed normal. But for about the past year i've realized that he is mentally crazy. He's obsessive, possesive, and very controlling over me. His WHOLE life revolves around me. There is never a happy enjoyable moment with us anymore. We went out for a short time during our friendship and i think thats what set it all wrong. I KNEW that i shouldnt have gone out with him even if i liked him alot b/c it would mess things up but i did anyways after he gave me guilt trips.But i can't take that back now, no matter how much i regret it. Now its to the point where he throws psycho fits over nothing. He always turns normal things into something huge that it isnt. He's always looking for a way to show that im mad at him or something, its weird to explain. He has a very messed up family life with a VERY messed up single mom and i know thats where he gets it from. He is so controlled by his mom that he has no one else to control...except me. He gets extremely mad if i have to cancel plans or something. One time i had to cancel dinner b/c my mom was in the hospital that day unexpected and i just wanted time to sit and think by myself and collect thoughts that had just happened. and i told him that but he flipped. he said i was selfish and that everything in our frienship is about me. He does things like that all the time and then realizes what he did wrong days later. But its to the point now where i cant take it anymore. his craziness is too much to deal with, i have never been more stressed in my life by anything. Being in a friendship with him is like being in a relationship with an abusive husband. I know sooner or later i need to get out even thought we were very close, but i dont know how. I've tried just slowly backing away but it didnt work. he notices every little less phone call and everything and flips. I dont know what to do. thanks 4 reading this i know this is weird and may be hard to understand what im saying lol, but if you do understand please help me. thanks
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Michie
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Re: A Psycho Best Friend

Post by Michie »

That's tough. Real tough. Have you spoken to him about this? Maybe you should speak to him and tell him that you need some time away from eachother, that he has to find some other friend, because you won't be with him 24/7. Say that you do value your friendship (only if this is the honest truth), but find that it has been harder to keep when he is holding onto you so much. You need a balance with other things, with your other friends, family, work, etc. And he can't be a part of it all anyway.

Mind you, talking was never my forte
My tears will be hidden behind this fake grin

You can see me through these metal bars-I won't let you in

It's my life and I screwed it-You're not to blame

And though I keep on trying, it's so hard to change.

-Steph



My email- [email=""]steph_w_3000@hotmail.com[/email]

Email me if you wanna talk!
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Shwynsh
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Re: A Psycho Best Friend

Post by Shwynsh »

I think you guys need a break from your friendship. It seems like hes getting way too deep into this, seems like hes thinking that you're in a relationship more than a friendship, and a BAD relationship at that...



I think you should explain to him that you're feeling too controlled by him and you dont feel like this is the kind of friendship that you're comfortable with right now, and maybe time away from each other to "start over" would be best.



You could also try just talking to him first- about everything, that should be the first choice, but if not, then maybe this might be good..
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"I have a feeling that you're riding for some kind of a terrible, terrible fall. . . . This fall I think you're riding for-it's a special kind of fall, a horrible kind. The man falling isn't permitted to feel or hear himself hit bottom. He just keeps falling and falling. The whole arrangement's designed for men who, at some time or other in their lives, were looking for something their own environment couldn't supply them with. Or they thought their own environment couldn't supply them with. So they gave up looking. They gave it up before they ever really even got started"
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fred_bertie
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Re: A Psycho Best Friend

Post by fred_bertie »

it sounds like hes the one who needs help, is he going to a councillor or something? is his dad still with him? could you talk to his dad about what hes doing to you, and that you think he needs help, but be gentle bout it.

pb fred x
i will try to help in any way i can, i am willing to listen to any problems or anything that anyone needs help with, im or pm me.



Drowning in the dark blood of would-be brothers who,

beyond the pressing of fingers, those for whom

the slice is only the beginning, and a different kind

of light comes in, begs recognition and peace of mind.



-- Judybats
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