I can't be at home anymore

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DarkWinLight
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Posts: 2
Joined: Wed Jul 06, 2016 1:19 am

I can't be at home anymore

Post by DarkWinLight » Wed Jul 06, 2016 1:47 am

It all started before I was even born. My parents got married and had my brother that same year. Then my father cheated but came back and they ended up having me. Then he cheated again and I have lived my entire life without a father. I was very confused about the concept of "parents" as child because I only understood having a Mom. It started to catch up with me as I got older and I realized I have been deprived of a male figure in my life. My mom also never had time for me and I had to stay at my cousin's house everyday until late at night. I became more attached to my cousin than I did my mom. So because of my lack of attention, I screwed around a lot in my teenage years. I am 18 and so far I have had 10 relationships, 2 one-night-stands, and I have had sex with 6 of those guys. I sneaked one of them in my house for 8 nights straight and sneaked in about 4 others for one night at a time. I was caught twice but that didn't stop me. I am currently with a guy who is 22 years old and I'm pretty happy with him. My problem is he gives me so much more love and attention than I've ever gotten in my life. So I want to be with him everyday. My brother just got an apartment with his girlfriend of 8 years and I'm extremely jealous of him. I work at a grocery store and have endless bills to pay. I'm looking for a full time job but it is very stressful. I hate being at home because my mom never leaves the house. She has no life and what interests her is boring to me. She assumes everything that I do is bad. If she doesn't know what something is, she thinks it's drugs or something. We don't have a good relationship and she looks down on everything I love and hates the jokes I tell. I don't fit in with my family at all. When I go to my uncle's house, everyone has someone to talk to and I put in my earbuds and sit in a corner. My brother and his girlfriend go to all the family events together so he always has someone to talk to. I wish I could get my own apartment so I can live with my boyfriend and have someone to keep me company and talk to everyday and someone to be there when I wake up from a nightmare in the middle of the night. I just don't feel like my life will ever get to that point. I feel like I'm tied to my mom's house forever.

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