Another New One

[princesspoetry]

I'm screaming inside, but

it's nearly September

and the fears of my past blend with Autumn foliage.

This time last year

death walked in on the family dinner

an unwanted houseguest who,

on his departue some months later

left us heart-wrenching souveniers of his journeys.

My dreams are haunted by the click of a 35 mm camera

and the painful man behind the lens.

I knew him once.

Before I was robbed of my innocence by a band of over-excited teenagers.

My memories of him fade into dreams

until I can't tell the two worlds apart.

Sometimes I think this has all been a dream.

That I'll wake up in a blink,

wiping the sleep from my 5-year-old eyes.

I was 6 when the waves started crashing

7 when the wind picked up

8 when the clouds started gathering

9 when the thunder first rumbled

10 when the lightening struck

11 when the rain began pouring

12 when the fire raged

13 when the sirens wailed.

and now, at almost 14

I've found the eye of the storm.

Behind me is family disasters

closets so full of skeletons that the bones spill into childhood bedrooms.

Ahead is the painful mysterious strangers

who gravitate to the constellations like children to comforting arms.

My throat is raw from not speaking,

mind numb from too much intellect.

I hang our pictures one after the other

portraits of 2 smiling siblings

his arm around me, beaming ear to ear.

at age 6, he was a grinning 13 year old, carefree and love.

at age 13, a 21 year old with a heart of gold

and mind of steel.

but something changed in those

7 years.

something in our eyes was wiser

our smiles more wary, our hearts a bit less light.

and yet we still had the spark in our hearts.



being addicted is better than being nothing at all.

[enferno]

wow...that is a powerful piece of work. i am speechless...it reminds me somewhat of how i feel

[silvertears]

WOW!!! that was.......WOW! AWESOME!!