Friend's Relationship

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JazzIsLove
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Friend's Relationship

Post by JazzIsLove » Wed Sep 14, 2005 7:38 pm

So my best friend is having problems w/ affection in her relationship (they have been dating for a year now. we are all 18 too).



First off, the household she grew up in was NOT affectionate in anyway...not horrible situation, just not affectionate.



Secondly, she's Lutheran I believe..but she's had it drilled into her head via the bible that experiencing any sort of pleasure (yes, even kissing) before marriage could send her to Hell. granted, she has done more than kissing (how much further, I don't know) but she feels this intense guilt after it..and it's hurting their relationship b/c her boyfriend is very affectionate.



I've tried to explain to her that if she's doing something w/ the one she loves..it's not 'wrong'. and that we are all forgiven in the end if we believe in jesus and god and such anyway..but she also believes, if she knows she's "sinning"..then she wont be forgiven.



Argh. How do I help her get over her guilt? she's a wonderful person and I don't personally believe anything bad could ever happen to her like Hell. She's trying very hard..but the guilt just catches up to her...argh *grumbles about literal translations of the bible some more..*



Thanks in advance :)
~ALLIE~



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Kit
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Re: Friend's Relationship

Post by Kit » Wed Sep 14, 2005 7:53 pm

If that's the way she believes then I don't think there's anything you can do. She has her beliefs and he should understand that. Also, tell her to find the scriputur in the Bible and tell her to define it for you. Then give her your views. See if she can define it in any other way. She needs to understand that the scriptures are there for her to define in her own way. It's just what SHE belives. If she doesn't think differently then respect that. Sadly, I think that if she doesn't figure it out another way, she will hurt the relationship.:( I hope you all work things out.



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A! Elbereth
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Re: Friend's Relationship

Post by A! Elbereth » Wed Sep 14, 2005 11:13 pm

As long as she doesn't have sex...



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309756
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Re: Friend's Relationship

Post by 309756 » Thu Sep 15, 2005 12:55 am

What's sex, and what is wrong?



I mean, I dunno. I'd have a hard time being with someone that religious. But I respect her decision and her morality. Maybe you should go through the Bible and show that the only prohibiton is technically against vaginal sex itself. That's before marriage, I mean.



I have a feeling that if Christians couldnd't have sex there wouldn't be so many of them today. Ask the Shakers. :-P

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Jaegermeister
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Re: Friend's Relationship

Post by Jaegermeister » Thu Sep 15, 2005 8:52 am

Originally posted by JazzIsLove+Sep 14 2005, 06:38 PM--
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Simple answer: Nothing. There's nothing you can do because it's not your problem to deal with. She's going to have to come to the realization that being involved in a loving, caring, mature relationship will naturally have physical side effects, and that not all of these side effects are wrong for the situation.



<!--QuoteBegin-pandasandpenguins[/i]@Sep 14 2005, 11:55 PM

What's sex, and what is wrong?

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Thanks Bill Clinton. :P



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