Help, Somethings Wrong

[cuteandplayful]

Ok, I guess one of my best friends found out that she could possibly be pregnant. Shes almost positive. So anyways.. Shes all freakin out about it and she will not tell her mom or anything. The guy who would be her babies daddy has only been her b/f for less then a month. She really likes him alot, but she thinks he might leave her. I dont think he'd leave her, I think he does love her. But anyways.. ever since she became aware that she might be pregnant, shes been like.. not eating at all, and shes been smoking tons of cigs. and lots of pot, shes also been snorting pills. I cant really say shit cuz I do all this too. But she might be pregnant, could this stuff hurt her or her baby? I dont know what to do. Shes takin a pregnancy test soon.. I'm so confused...

[diane2ns]

that stuff can definately hurt the baby and if her goal is to kill the baby she may not succeed and instead that child will grow if with many problems. if she is pregnant she needs to stop all of that now and she will need your help. just be there for your friend. im here if you want to talk.

[fpsqueen]

diane2ns is right on. Also, she should tell her mom. Her mom is going to find out eventually so she might as well tell her now. Just provide support. You should try to watch out for her and the baby (if there is one) but also remember, you don't have control. Don't feel guilty if she is acting stupid. Just be there for her. She must be having a very hard time right now.

[NunchakuSteve]

You have to support your friend, support her well she'll need it later on.

You have to get through to her and get her to tell her Mom who can help things too, doing all the drugs/smoking stuff isn't gonna kill the baby but screw it up more for when it is born, that would be even more trouble. As a friend, you gotta be her support and be there for her, but somebody else really should know...her parents..her mom.



Goodluck to you and to her.

[archers_angel]

Simple: just get her to take a test. THEN start worrying. She might not even be pregnant at all.



If she is, shes got to take better care of herself. Its not just her own life she's putting at risk here. Get her to take a test today.

[sugarpacket]

she needs to either do a home pregnancy test to determine what the truth is, or go to a doctor. however, since she does drugs, i wouldn't think she'd want to go see a doctor.



YES! drugs and even just cigarettes can really REALLY harm a baby--even in early stages of development--the toxins can affect its growth, brain development, nervous system, and possibly even kill the baby. does your friend know this????? if she is pregnant and she wants the baby (or just wants the baby to live) she needs to stop doing some of that stuff... i mean, i'm not going to sit here and preach about drugs and smoking (because i'm sad to hear that she'd do that to herself) but really, if she IS pregnant, and cares at all about the baby, she needs to try, really TRY to stop.

[Kiyotie]

Moved to Teen Pregnancy.



Your friend sounds like she's smoking and doing drugs out of the stress of being pregnant. Tell me, does she not care about the innocent life that's growing inside her? I can understand her being overwhelmed, but I think you should aproach her and let her know what she's doing to herself AND her baby. Children that parents' have done drugs can become addicted themselves and have other SERIOUS problems (brain damage) and alcohol can cause FAS (Fetal Alcohol Syndrome). Please, talk to her and just ask her to lay off the drugs and drinking for 9 shorts months until the baby is born



Let us know what happens and good luck

[Emily]

Show her some proof (From the internet or brochures) that what those things can do to her baby.



She doesn't really need to tell anyone until she knows for sure. Why don't you ask her to go to a teen pregnancy clinic t ofind out and get some information on what she can do.



Offer to go with her, this is a big thing and you don't want her to fee alone in it. Let her know you're there for her and that you'll try to do anything.



The clinic is the best bet until she knows for sure she's pregnant.. They dont' have to tell her parents either.

[Zarah]

What age is she? Having sex after less than a month of knowing him and then doin drugs! Its people like her that make me sick - that poor baby

[cuteandplayful]

Hey everyone. I guess my friend found out that she isnt pregnant after all. This is a very good thing, she couldnt have handled something like this. I know she sounds like a bad person and everything, but really shes a good girl.She has made some mistakes and does what most people consider 'bad' things, but she IS a person and she does have feelings. Shes just kinda weird from all the drugs..I cant explain really. I'm just glad that she isnt so her life wont be ruined. Oh yeah for Zarah.. the girls 15. Dont judge her just from what I've told you tho, theres more to her then just drugs and sex... Shes one of my best friends.

[Zarah]

Originally posted by cuteandplayful@Aug 11 2003, 02:18 PM

Hey everyone. I guess my friend found out that she isnt pregnant after all. This is a very good thing, she couldnt have handled something like this. I know she sounds like a bad person and everything, but really shes a good girl.She has made some mistakes and does what most people consider 'bad' things, but she IS a person and she does have feelings. Shes just kinda weird from all the drugs..I cant explain really. I'm just glad that she isnt so her life wont be ruined. Oh yeah for Zarah.. the girls 15. Dont judge her just from what I've told you tho, theres more to her then just drugs and sex... Shes one of my best friends.

Im happy she isn`t pregnant because of the fact a baby won`t have to come into this world through drugs. The fact is you say there is more to her than drugs and sex but im not judging her on anything else , this topic was about her maybe being pregnant ,she`s 15 , she sud have more sense and the next time tell her to wear protection and not slut around the place, if she`s using drugs then she`s stupid

[cuteandplayful]

Please, do not call my friend a slut, or try and make people assume she is a slut, she isnt. And also, this place isnt for judging, its for giving advice and helping people, which you are not doing by calling my best friend a slut and saying that if she does drugs she is stupid. If doing drugs means shes stupid, I guess that means that me and every other person who is on here for help with drugs is also stupid, am I correct? You obviously dont do drugs, so you dont understand why we do drugs and become addicted. You obviously dont understand sex either, so you dont know what it is like or why all these young girls are out having sex. Just because a 15 year old has sex with someone does not make her a slut. Or else all the other 15 year olds on these forums who've had sex are sluts too.. right? See.. think about what you say before you actually say it. Its insulting for someone, who has no experience and only has opinions with what we go thro, to say things like that. Thank you for your concern, but unless you can put it nicely next time, I'd rather not hear from you. Everyone else is positive and supportive, your negativity is only gonna cause more negativity.

[Zarah]

I have no problem with people who have sex at 15 - none at all , if they use protection.She didn`t therefore she could have become pregnant and what would have happened to that baby? I have no problem whatsoever with 13,14,15 any age in fact who have become pregnant because the condom broke or something.And im sorry you didn`t talk my comment as advice.My advice was that she use protection and not be in this position the next time .And as for the drugs - why did she start in the first place!!!! and don`t say it was stuff happening with her family or something because my friend has had more hurt and abuse done to her by her family yet she is still stable and coping because of my support.Don`t turn this around and say i am insulting all 15 yr olds using drugs and having sex.This topic was about your friend not using protection and using drugs even when she knew she might be pregnant.She sounds pretty much like a slut to me , thats my opinion and just because everyone else seems its unjust to say words like that to people, im not hiding my feelings.Im sick of helpless babies being brought into this world through mistakes



She sounds like a right slapper, If you don`t use protection you are stupid full stop.

[cuteandplayful]

Hmm.. Zarah.. a slut is someone who sleeps with lots of guys.. my friend does not sleep with lots of guys. You are insulting people.. maybe because your kinda hotheaded about your opinions you think that you are automatically right. You insulted me.. thats for sure, and I am a 15 year old too. When you said "tell her to stop slutting around' that didnt relate at all to the topic. And you asked why she even started drugs, how can I answer that? Why does anyone start drugs? I dont know.. no one really does. You felt sorry for a helpless baby.. do you not think my friend is worth anything? She is a human too, she has feelings, she has emotions too. Like I said before.. If you have something insulting to say do not say it because it will just piss people like me off. Didnt you ever hear the saying "If you dont have anything nice to say, then doing say anything" If its not nice but encouraging its ok, but your being downright rude calling someone you dont know at all a slut. Oh and dont forget this one "Do unto others as you would have done unto you" I'm treating you with the same respect you're treating me. Please do not post in anything I post anymore unless it is something a little more positive then calling my best friend a slut. Thank you.

[Zarah]

Look you are trying to take what i said and twist and turn it .

Here are the facts , she is 15 and had a pregnancy scare due to not wearing protection , when she found out she may be pregnant she continued the use of drugs -i mean what sort of person does that and yes i do think she is a slut because there are people who sleep around and use protection and thats fine with me and then there is people who don`t use protection and use drugs - I have no respect whatsoever.You can take this post and twist and turn it all you like but i really don`t care, I care about people who make a mistake or are going through problems not those that are so irresponsible they use drugs when they think they may be pregnant and you also said what about her she is a human being? well what i was concerned about was the human being she may have concieved.

[flavaoftheweak]

ah lemme just interject what im feelin ok?



well im glad your friend isnt pregnant. but now, as zarah said, make sure you encourage her to wear protection.



as for the whole *slut* thing, i can see where zarah is coming from. i dont want to put you down or ANYTHING like that, but someone that goes out for a guy for a month, and has unprotected sex with him is a little bit... slutty in my eyes. but im going to say right now that i do not know your friend. when something like that is said, i immediately think that person is slutty. but thats just because i dont know her. shes probably a great person. its just from what it sounds like, we get that opinion about her. *true love doesnt come to most in a month* but you know, thats only most. there are exceptions to every rule.



as for taking drugs, i cant say that its a horrible thing to smoke pot... i can tell you that the cigs are gonna make her old and wrinkly by age 30... and shes at a higher risk for all kinds of everything. and i can also tell you that snorting can fuck up your esophagus to the empth degree, not to mention fuck all of you up for good. and when your pregnant and doing drugs like pot and snorting pills, what you might not of thought as a danger before is extremely dangerous now... not only for you but for your baby. my friends mom did drugs when she was preg with him, now he has to take some shit every day so hes not dependent on drugs, and his mom died of some heart thing because her blood was so thin or something when he was FIVE. even though drugs arent good, as i said there are exceptions to the rules... live your own life... but if your pregnant, PLEASE think of what your doing to the baby inside of you. the child will most likely have deformities and addictions to the drugs your on during pregnancy, which will cost a hell of alot more then just raising a healthy child... what with huge medical bills and RX bills and wow it gets pretty steep. so think about that... and talk to your friend about it too. even if shes not pregnant.



so thats my feelings... i hope you guys stop fighting... and i gotta say that zarah can reply to any post she wants. she has really good advice. id listen to her if i were you, no matter how pissed off ANY of us makes you with our post, we're just trying to help you... just cool down and think aboutt what we're saying... it might hurt a bit, but we usually have pretty good advice.



good luck

[cuteandplayful]

Ok, so you guys think my friends a slut because of what you do know about her. So, here I go with some good things about her. She is actually a very selfless girl. Altho it seems selfish of her to do bad things when she wasnt sure if she was preggers or not, she is a very giving person. She also is very wise and gives good advice. She normally does use condoms, this was just one of those times that practically everyone who has sex goes thro. And yes, she did have sex with her b/f before they even went out for a month, but she knew him for a long time before they actually started going out. I made her sound worse then she is because I was upset when I wrote the post. I think that if she found out that she was really pregnant she would have quit the pills and everything, and I also think deep down she knew she really wasnt. She also spends most of her time taking care of her sick mother, she does do drugs and things but not as much as most people, since she has to help her mom out alot. Her mom is slowly dying of lung cancer. Also, while she is at home with her mom she babysits her brothers baby girl, while her brother and his g/f are working or out somewhere. She isnt a selfish person at all, and the guy she slept with was the one she lost her virginity to. That is why I cant see calling her a slut, because she isnt. I got mad when you guys called her that because she is so.. not a slut. I know girls who go to barrel parties and sleep with random guys, those are sluts, not my friend. She is awesome and without her I do believe I would be dead, when I used to cut and was into all that suicide shit it was her who helped me thro it. How can I not get upset when you guys are insulting the person whose saved my life? I'm sorry for offending you ok? But you also offended me, so we are equal.

[Zarah]

I`m sorry cuteandplayful , I`ve been going through a shit week and i just got angry at yet another girl doing all this stuff to herself.I realise after reading that she is a wonderful person , its just the way it sounded in your post that made me angry because I`ve very strong views on unprotected sex and abortion and stuff , Im happy she does use protection and I take back what i said about her being a slut - that was just a spur of the moment annoyance post.Good Luck to you and your friend.

[Bkm2004]

Originally posted by cuteandplayful@Aug 11 2003, 02:18 PM

Hey everyone. I guess my friend found out that she isnt pregnant after all. This is a very good thing, she couldnt have handled something like this. I know she sounds like a bad person and everything, but really shes a good girl.She has made some mistakes and does what most people consider 'bad' things, but she IS a person and she does have feelings. Shes just kinda weird from all the drugs..I cant explain really. I'm just glad that she isnt so her life wont be ruined. Oh yeah for Zarah.. the girls 15. Dont judge her just from what I've told you tho, theres more to her then just drugs and sex... Shes one of my best friends.

That's good, tell her next time to use some sort of protection cause next time it might not be a false alarm.