About a week ago, I was talking to my mother, and somehow the conversation had turned to my ex "girlfriends" (her words, not mine). Anyways, somehow, I slipped the fact that I recently broke up with my boyfriend, and we got into a large, and rather long argument.
My mom has been denying the fact that I am gay ever since about two years ago when I tried to tell her. In her mind, she did not know I was gay much less that I had a boyfriend without her knowing......
SO: Needless to say, the night of fighting ended with my mom slamming her door and not comming out of her room the entire night.
The next day, when I get home from school, I found my mom starting to disassemble my computer. We got into another fight as I asked her why the hell she was taking it apart, and she told me that I would never be allowed to touch a computer again in "her house" because the "people on the internet influece" me......I was able to come online and post some rather brief goodbyes and then my mother came in and finished her removal of the computer.
For nearly a week my mom avoided talking to me as much as possable, and I avoided talking to her too as I was afraid that if I talked to her I'd end up hitting her. As I was getting ready for school one day, she had the balls to ask me "Why do you always try to hurt me?".....Hearing these words made my blood boil, and I started yelling at her bad.
I screamed at her, calling her a selfish bitch for thinking that I was going through all that pain and suffering for so many years to hurt her......expecially after I have always considered her one of the best people I would ever know. She made me want to barf and to me: she was the most self centered person in the world.
Then, a few seconds after I had finished screaming my lungs off at her, I saw my mom cry for the first time. Through her sobs I heard her saying how she was a horrable mother, and that it's her fault that I "turned out this way".
At this, I broke down crying also and explained to her that who I love is not her fault, as only God can chose that. I helped her to try and understand what I've gone through for the past few years, and finally after the tears were gone, she had learned to accept me for being gay.
Well, after all that, my mother knows I'm gay. And even though she is not 100% used to the thought that her little boy likes boys: she is getting there.
Since I yelledat her, every time I try to talk to her I get the feeling that she doesn't know how to act around me. Everytime we talk, I feel like she's treating me like a different person than my normal self now that I'm gay.......Even though this does feel wierd, and we aren't having the same conversations as we used to, I hope that things will become normal, and maybe this event will some day bring us even closer together than ever before.
I love my mom and she loves me.......It just takes some time and a little effort to make make sure she loves me for the real me.....You know?
But for now, I'm really happy things turned out better for you and that's a happy ending come true. 