I Have To Let This Out, Again...

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sbloemeke
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I Have To Let This Out, Again...

Post by sbloemeke »

So, as many of you know, I have something that is not quite completely masculine about me, something wrong. AKA, I think I am a woman living in a man's body. And I cannot tell you how many times I've wanted out. I've tried out, and it's failed. I've tried mentally making a new female self, and that resulted in a disorder. I've tried just imagining myself as a female, and that just adds to the anxiety. I've thought of times after death where I'd be able to choose what I wished to do in heaven, and have everything perfect.

It's a kind of a thing I can never attain. I feel like it is much the same thing as a love without the hope of success. It's not going to happen, yet I still wish it could. I wish I could like transfer bodies, and become the real me.

I don't like this at all. :'(
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InnocenceLost57
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Re: I Have To Let This Out, Again...

Post by InnocenceLost57 »

Aw, I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. I know it has to be hard - but just know you aren't alone. Though I know it doesn't help you much, there are hundreds if not more of people like you in the US, and other places around the world.



I know what a struggle you went through to get rid of your disorder, and you should be SO proud of yourself for that. You're a very strong person, and you can get through this as well.



The anxiety is really normal, in fact it might be strange if you DIDN'T have any issues with what you were going through.



What are your opinons about the surgical side of the gender issue? Do you think it's bad enough to maybe one day merit surgery, or is that something you would completely not be interested in? Just know that it HAS been done. Nothing's impossible in this day and age.



I wish I knew something else to tell you to make you feel better....but I know that, in the end, you're the only one who can truly help yourself and come to terms with yourself and who you truly are. I hope things get better for you.



((hugs))
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sbloemeke
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Re: I Have To Let This Out, Again...

Post by sbloemeke »


Aw, I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. I know it has to be hard - but just know you aren't alone. Though I know it doesn't help you much, there are hundreds if not more of people like you in the US, and other places around the world.



I know what a struggle you went through to get rid of your disorder, and you should be SO proud of yourself for that. You're a very strong person, and you can get through this as well.



The anxiety is really normal, in fact it might be strange if you DIDN'T have any issues with what you were going through.



What are your opinons about the surgical side of the gender issue? Do you think it's bad enough to maybe one day merit surgery, or is that something you would completely not be interested in? Just know that it HAS been done. Nothing's impossible in this day and age.



I wish I knew something else to tell you to make you feel better....but I know that, in the end, you're the only one who can truly help yourself and come to terms with yourself and who you truly are. I hope things get better for you.



((hugs))

[/b]
Thanks for the support.



I have weighed the surgical option numerous times, but there are a couple of downfalls of it. First is that I am a fairly religeous person and remember reading "Someone who is castrated cannot enter heaven." The second is that my family would go nuts, and shun me from their lives. The third is that it still isn't true, and I would rather be true and male than fake and female.

That's why this is tortmenting, for it's an escape I want, but cannot have.
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Re: I Have To Let This Out, Again...

Post by FranklinF »

um ok not that this matters, but you like women or men?just curious as your sexual prefrence says strait i always wondered what a transgendered person would classify themselves as...

I can see how you are troubled by this, and i am sorry that it hangs over your head so heavily.

have you tried jus dressing like a woman? does that help at all?
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sbloemeke
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Re: I Have To Let This Out, Again...

Post by sbloemeke »


um ok not that this matters, but you like women or men?just curious as your sexual prefrence says strait i always wondered what a transgendered person would classify themselves as...

I can see how you are troubled by this, and i am sorry that it hangs over your head so heavily.

have you tried jus dressing like a woman? does that help at all?

[/b]
I like women, and consider myself strait being that I presently am male. :)

I've sort of tried in times, and it actually makes things worse, since it increases the urge. I think "Now, if only this could be real."
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Re: I Have To Let This Out, Again...

Post by Beautiful »

If it makes you feel any better. Your not the only one out there. I actually know a guy who changed to a girl, and hes only 15 going threw highschool.

And with the whole religion thing.

I asked my pastor [ i'm luthern ] about gays one day, and what the bible said about that stuff. He ended up saying that the bible was writen at a time where it was nessesary to think of only men and woman to be together becuase of how much everyone needed to reproduce to survive and stuff. [ or something along those lines ].. So i think the same would go with that.

Meh, what i'm trying to say is, the bible was writen a long long LONG time ago. not everything is nessesarley right.

If you wanna talk or anything, PM me.
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sbloemeke
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Re: I Have To Let This Out, Again...

Post by sbloemeke »


If it makes you feel any better. Your not the only one out there. I actually know a guy who changed to a girl, and hes only 15 going threw highschool.

And with the whole religion thing.

I asked my pastor [ i'm luthern ] about gays one day, and what the bible said about that stuff. He ended up saying that the bible was writen at a time where it was nessesary to think of only men and woman to be together becuase of how much everyone needed to reproduce to survive and stuff. [ or something along those lines ].. So i think the same would go with that.

Meh, what i'm trying to say is, the bible was writen a long long LONG time ago. not everything is nessesarley right.

If you wanna talk or anything, PM me.

[/b]
I know. It's just a chance I don't want to take. It's just frustrating, I guess. Why are we all bound to just one body? Why can't we be free spirits?
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