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Concerned?

Posted: Sat Feb 16, 2008 4:14 pm
by SammyWhammy
My boyfriend are very open sexually. We experiment with new things and are pretty open with things we like or might like. Well both of us have received anally. I get that it feels really good for a guy, which is why i am happy that he is willing to experiment. we have even gone so far as to buy toys, pretty much for me to use on him during sex/play.



it came out recently that he used to use his own finger during masturbation. im fine with that, curiously is normal.



well we went to an adult store recently and i know he is curious about us using a strap-on. i almost feel like it might be going a bit far. it also came out after we left that he watched "2 seconds" of this bi porn i had around our place.



now my question is there a possibility that he could be bi? i dont want to judge him so i came here before brining this up to him and make him feel insecure.



i just know that if he were he would be the type to stay in the closet because of his family and such. this is the guy i want to marry. we have talked about it an have a 5 year plan layed out. this is something i would like to know about the person i love.



am i going overboard? or should i talk to him? intially i was fine with him liking it. i get that. i know it feels good. but i find the strap on. somewhat extreme- since thats really strictly his pleasure.



please help.

Re: Concerned?

Posted: Mon Feb 18, 2008 12:05 pm
by ~Kerri~
Using a strap on(woman on man) is actually more common than people seem to think or realize. That however, doesn't necessarily mean the male is bi-sexual. I highly suggest that you speak with him about it, ask questions, get answers. If you guys can't talk about something simple like this, then how do you plan to be married... Ya know?

Re: Concerned?

Posted: Mon Feb 18, 2008 2:14 pm
by SammyWhammy
actually i do know how common it is, i used to work at a porn shop, haha. it just seems like the next step, or so much more. we are very open with each other. i am just afraid of offending him or making him feel judged. i mean asking a straight man (esp. the man you sleep with) if he is into guys could be a bit emasculating. or at least i think it could be. right?

Re: Concerned?

Posted: Mon Feb 18, 2008 3:37 pm
by Lena
Personally, I would take it at face value. I think the fact he is with you, a woman, speaks more about his sexuality than experimenting with what feels good to him.



To put it differently.... Imagine a guy asking his straight girlfriend if she is bisexual or lesbian based on the fact she likes oral sex/fingering, etc as an alternative to just penetrative sex with his penis. She would just say no - it simply feels good, it has no impact on her sexuality.



Hope this gives a different perspective. :)



Lena