Am I Overreacting?

sweethelp · Post by **sweethelp** » Fri Jun 03, 2005 10:37 pm

alright well at work this guy, andy, he had grabbed my ass a little but i wasnt sure if it was on purpose so i just assumed it was an accident b/c i mean im sure my hand or elbow has accidently touched a guys ass but still i felt a pinch. and then he came up and just slapped my ass and i looked at him and smacked him in the arm and even my friend jessica saw it and was like "did he just do what i think he did?!?!" and he just laughed about it like it was no big deal! but then i told Flo and she said that he does it to her all the time and he even grabs at her boobs! and she said it didnt bother her at all! but then when he needed to borrow a managers a keys he hit my butt again, but this time with the keychain part of the keys and he just laughed and walked away. now i just dont know what to do at all!!! i mean should i talk to a manager?!?! i asked my really good friend whos a keyholder there and she said i should talk to elaine (my store manager, who is also one of my friends mother) but i dont want to overreact or anything. but part of me thinks i should talk to her but part of me says no. i mean i just dont know what to do! i felt really uncomfortable around him after that like i just wanted to stay away from him and now like i dont feel as comfortable around other male co-workers. i just really dont know what to do!! and i cant even get a hold of my best friend b/c shes at the movies with her stupid boyfriend whom i dont even like

HELP!!!!

:'(

~~Kimmy~~

Kit · Post by **Kit** » Fri Jun 03, 2005 10:47 pm

I would think that the slap on the arm should have given him the warning that it's not funny to you, but you do need to tell him to stop and why. Then let your manager know that you warned him. If he continues to do it then yes, it's sexual harrassment. And no, you're not over-reacting.

If you need to talk, pm me.

Sammi

wagon_wheel · Post by **wagon_wheel** » Fri Jun 03, 2005 10:49 pm

No your not over reacting. Do what Sammi has said.

sweethelp · Post by **sweethelp** » Fri Jun 03, 2005 10:51 pm

im so scared to cause drama though and i dont know but like 1 part of me is telling me to talk to elaine but the other part is telling me "no dont do it youre overreacting he was just joking around and he wont do it again, and everyone will hate you if you say something"

ya know?

~~Kimmy~~

Cindy · Post by **Cindy** » Fri Jun 03, 2005 11:16 pm

Always speak to the person first before going to the manger. you can loose your job over a simple things like that.

He has no right to do that if you don't want him to, but YOU got to let him know that its not OK. He might thinkits ok, because everyone else lets him do it to everyone else.

I say speak to him one on one at work first, and if it keeps going then talk to the manger.

Doug · Post by **Doug** » Sat Jun 04, 2005 1:57 am

Have you tried talking to HIM first? Going straight to the manager IS overreacting, but if you've already talked to him about it, then you're fine. If you haven't - talk to him about it first.

turtbub · Post by **turtbub** » Sat Jun 04, 2005 7:18 pm

Yeah, like everyone said, go to him first Kimmy. Be like, look I don't appreciate it when you slap my butt or touch me. I know you're only joking, but I'm not comfortable. So, don't do it again. And he should just be like, oh okay sorry. But if he keeps doing it, THEN you go the manager.

You shouldn't have to be uncomfortable at work. Ever. But most likely, he's just joking around.

I'm around if you need to talk.

PS-Move to rape/abuse? Perhaps?

sweethelp · Post by **sweethelp** » Sat Jun 04, 2005 8:05 pm

well its just when he slapped me the 1st time i smacked him on the arm and told him not to touch me like that and then he slapped me again a few minutes later, i mean yeah, it just bothered me and i dunno ill just go away

~~Kimmy~~

Kit · Post by **Kit** » Sat Jun 04, 2005 10:13 pm

Go to your manager. You told him to stop and he did it again. He's been told. Talk to your manager and tell him/her that you warned him and he continued to do it. And again, you're NOT over-reacting.

*hugs*

Doug · Post by **Doug** » Sat Jun 04, 2005 10:57 pm

Originally posted by sweethelp@Jun 4 2005, 06:05 PM

well its just when he slapped me the 1st time i smacked him on the arm and told him not to touch me like that and then he slapped me again a few minutes later, i mean yeah, it just bothered me and i dunno ill just go away

~~Kimmy~~

[right][/right]

Did you laugh, smile, or smirk when you said it or did you sound pissed off? If you did anything resembling a smile, he likely thought you were alright with it. It something you have to actually talk about with him. Guys are dense sometimes.

JazzIsLove · Post by **JazzIsLove** » Sat Jun 04, 2005 11:11 pm

You're definitely not overreacting--any form of unwanted touch at all can be considered harrassment (even something like tickling). So if he continues doing it after you (hopefully) talk to him, tell a manager, and they should do something about it

Cindy · Post by **Cindy** » Sat Jun 04, 2005 11:26 pm

Originally posted by OnlyInside+Jun 4 2005, 09:57 PM--
[/right]

[/b]

Did you laugh, smile, or smirk when you said it or did you sound pissed off? If you did anything resembling a smile, he likely thought you were alright with it. It something you have to actually talk about with him. Guys are dense sometimes.

[right][/right]

[/b][/quote]

I agree with Doug here. He moght have thought you were flirting back. Guys are like that. You need to talk to him eye to eye, face to eace, and tell him to please not touch you.

If after that it doesn't stop, talk to your manager

turtbub · Post by **turtbub** » Sun Jun 05, 2005 9:08 am

Yeah, I agree with Cindy and with Doug. Guys can be really slow to catch on. If you kind of swatted at his hand and laughed or smiled or anything, he probably thought it was flirty banter.

You really don't want to cause unneccessary drama if he really isn't meaning to upset you. Sit him down and be like, look I'm serious don't touch me again. I don't like it. And I'm not joking.

If he does it again, THEN go to the manager.

four · Post by **four** » Sun Jun 05, 2005 8:11 pm

I would suggest that in addition to what turtub told you to do that you say that if he does it again you are going to have to go to the manager.

sweethelp · Post by **sweethelp** » Sun Jun 05, 2005 9:02 pm

yeah i think ive decided for sure what im gonna do, i warned him and told him not to but if he does it again to me then i will go to a manager because now he REALLY knows that i dont want to be touched like that and that i dont like it. and ive told my friend (the key holder, she offered to talk to elaine for me) about my plan i think she wishes i would talk to elaine but o well, and i will take action if he touches me like that again

~~Kimmy~~

four · Post by **four** » Tue Jun 07, 2005 2:14 am

Sounds like a plan, hopefully he took the hint.

sweethelp · Post by **sweethelp** » Tue Jun 14, 2005 10:44 pm

well, he didnt

he did it again and i yelled at him like i flat out yelled dont touch me! now ive gotta try and find a good time to tell him grrr

~~Kimmy~~

Jesykah ^_^ · Post by **Jesykah ^_^** » Mon Jun 20, 2005 12:19 pm

Yeah, I'd definitely say something now. That's been enough "warnings"... he should have gotten the hint by now. Talk to him or your manager about it sweetie, it's for your own good.

sweethelp · Post by **sweethelp** » Fri Jun 24, 2005 10:52 pm

UPDATE: i did talk to elaine (my manager) and she had rich (the assistant manager) give him a talking to, because she was gonna be in vegas! lol! but yes i did talk to her and i saw him briefly tonight and he didnt do anything. so thats good,

~~Kimmy~~

thanks a bunch everyone

Jesykah ^_^ · Post by **Jesykah ^_^** » Sun Jun 26, 2005 12:13 pm

Glad everythings fixed hun.

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