Guilt . . .

[SirPostAlot]

ok you know i have been giving advice on here (and in among my own friends) for yaers now, well about a year and half ago one my close friend came to me and she was a great friend, shy and (like all my friends) sorta "Dorkish"...

well she was afraid of her lesbian thoughts and i helped her through them and she told me the one day that she was finally accepting it and i was soo happy because we had talked about it for like 4 months, me trying to help her through it...

and well she started going out w/ this punky girl (though were not clique, most of my friends (like her) are preppy) and she changed into this partyier, punky girl who really didn't talk to alot of her old friends much and i really do feel guilty in a way...

i mean i know i shouldn't but she ran away from home several times, eventually dropping out and moving a few hrs away...

i mean i know i shouldn't feel guilty becuase it was her choice but i just have been contimplating this in my head for a few months and i just keep internally bashing myself becuase part of me feels responsible...like maybe she wasn't ready to come out and by ocming out pre-mature she clutched to the first bi/lesbian and grew punky with her...

hmm...



~Jeff~

[Paris In Flames]

That's not your fault.



Her sexual orientation doens't mean she's going to turn punk and stupid.

My ex is sorta kinda hardcore, and she didn't make me run away.



That's her fault.

Not yours.



Cheers,



Jenna

[Bleeding~Hero]

I'de say give her time. You say you pulled her out "prematurely", and i think in a sense, maybe you did, or didn't. Most gays and lesbians stay in the closet for very long periods before they actually come out to other (though they've accepted them selves much longer before they came out). this period in the closet, where they've accepted themselves, but haven't come out yet could be called the "incubation period". This period is gives gays the time they need to sort out their feelings, and observe, to find their type and what they want in a same-sex partner. your friend felt comftorable enough to come out before she could really do some soul searching on the subject, and yes, would, and did cling herself to the first gay she ran into (my brother did the same exact thing).

She probably will come back to you guys, when she gets the time she needs to think about this.

I wish i could help you more. Stay sexy.

[SirPostAlot]

thx guys...

i mean internally i know its not my fault, i just do feel like i helped her out too soon, i mean i talked to her a wk ago (she ran away to pittsburg) and she was saying that she was searching for a job and i mean we had like 50 days of school left when she ran away for good, which is sad...

i mean i hope she comes around and realizes that shes truly screawing her life over, but for now she is living down in pittsburg w/ her drug-dealing freind (she has been in jail a few times for it), and i mean she was soo innocent before talking to me about her orientation...



its just crazy i guess how much people are influeneced by other people ~ i mean it seems like i am the "base" friend and they just branch off of me and leave, you know? like i had a few friends who are not like party-aholics (im not a partyier so im like out of their social life) and its just sad you know, like there really isn't anything i can do to help them a nd theres nothing i can do to help my friend who ran away, its their lives that they control, its not my fault per se, though i feel like it is w/ her...but in the future hopefully they realize what they have done to screw up their lives, you know? i would hate to come back to reunions to see failures...



~Jeff~

[VittorioCole]

Not your fault, mate.. Free will can be an ugly thing when it doesn't go the way we'd like it, but in the end, it is free will that allows her to do whatever she wants.



Her Choices

Her Mistakes

Her Fuck-Up



NOT yours..

There's no blood on your hands, so to speak.

[SirPostAlot]

haha thx...

i guess going to such a small school you get attached to like everyone and i mean she was a great friend and being a lesbian is hard enough coming from such a rural area, i try to act like a role-model to you know try to just show the other guys who are not heteros that it is ok you know? and i feel by her doing this it sorta hurts the homo-status, you know? hmm...haha, i think way into things - i should just, i guess, hope that she is doing good down there, you know? hmm...



~Jeff~