Well I'm sry to burden y'all w/ this shitload of stuff, but I can't find ne1 else to turn to! I don't know what's wrong w/ me (oh and by the way, this is prob. gonna be som unorganized; so I apoligize for the inconvience of the comprehension (if that makes sense)...I seem to lose my friends as soon as I make them-which leaves me unsure about them and always changin them. when I think I may have found some stable friends I push them away with my shyness, negativity, lack of confidence, self-hatred....I never know what to say except for the wrong thing. I wish I could hold on to them b/c theyu're really great: they listen to me, they try to help, and they don't just leave em in the dust....but you can't force a friendship..............I guess I've never eally had a clse friendship w/ ne1...jus wanted to.....and so I want it so badly that I'm forcing itl therefore pushing my new frinds away b4 we have a chance. My 1st question, I guess, is how do I keep these (and by the way the 3 I'm talkin about are all guys (one w/ a g/f, one, really caring, and one who doesn't get too close to dat many ppl (jus so u know who they are a lil bit) 3 friends, so I can maybe have a closer friendship w/ them instead of drive them away w/ my distorted self-image-realted problems? Any advice?.....So I guess from all of that I'm asking how to stay friends w/ some1 since I've never really had a best friend, jus wish i did/do... :'( (oh by the way this one of a few of my.....issues...)
