Falling out of love

Have a major crush on that special girl but she doesn't like you in the least? Are you in love with a guy who doesn't even notice you? Whatever it might be, ask here. We'll give you some advice.

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Falling out of love

Post by Trivialnight » Thu Dec 19, 2002 2:39 pm

Ok this is a theory that i was talking to a friend about one night, and wondering what you guys think. Now i have never been in love before or anything like that so, if i am wrong, im wrong, its based on what i see with other people.



A couple weeks ago i brought up with my friend about how people get in love. I was talking about how people understand what love is to say that. He said you will know one day, the response i had figured. So i brought up the topic of people going out for 2 weeks but within those 2 weeks they both said they loved eachother. then 2 weeks later, they hate eachother and they never see eachother again. then another week later they are with different people telling them that they love eachother. Now what is that considered? Is it considered love?



Now i look at 3 of my friends,



1st One of them has a girlfriend that he says he loves and wants to marry when they get out of school. She goes to a different college, so he basically cheats on her every weekend. I dunno i cant see myself doing that if i loved someone that much.



2nd He has a girlfriend that he is proposing too in the summer, kind of dumb in my opinion, which me and couple other people are trying to talk him out till he gets out of college. But he has been going with the same girl for 4 years but he has cheated on her with other girls too. But he says he loves her so much.



3rd He has a girlfriend he has had for 2 years now, and they both love eachother, no problems there.



Is it just i see bad examples that brings me to this consolution that love really isn't what everyone talks about? or is it just the way i see it from other people that i am close with?



Forgot something, also i noticed how people say "im the luckiest guy/girl in the world to have someone like you." is that so common for people to say? I see or hear it all the time with people. Another point my friend said was maybe its just to them they think that, and it doesn't matter what others think about it. But i dunno, it seems kind of annoying, everytime i hear someone say it espically if they are one of those 2 week love type people
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Re: Falling out of love

Post by Barbies are Evil » Thu Dec 19, 2002 5:55 pm

Originally posted by Trivialnight@Dec 19 2002, 06:39 PM

Ok this is a theory that i was talking to a friend about one night, and wondering what you guys think. Now i have never been in love before or anything like that so, if i am wrong, im wrong, its based on what i see with other people.



A couple weeks ago i brought up with my friend about how people get in love. I was talking about how people understand what love is to say that. He said you will know one day, the response i had figured. So i brought up the topic of people going out for 2 weeks but within those 2 weeks they both said they loved eachother. then 2 weeks later, they hate eachother and they never see eachother again. then another week later they are with different people telling them that they love eachother. Now what is that considered? Is it considered love?



Now i look at 3 of my friends,



1st One of them has a girlfriend that he says he loves and wants to marry when they get out of school. She goes to a different college, so he basically cheats on her every weekend. I dunno i cant see myself doing that if i loved someone that much.



2nd He has a girlfriend that he is proposing too in the summer, kind of dumb in my opinion, which me and couple other people are trying to talk him out till he gets out of college. But he has been going with the same girl for 4 years but he has cheated on her with other girls too. But he says he loves her so much.



3rd He has a girlfriend he has had for 2 years now, and they both love eachother, no problems there.



Is it just i see bad examples that brings me to this consolution that love really isn't what everyone talks about? or is it just the way i see it from other people that i am close with?



Forgot something, also i noticed how people say "im the luckiest guy/girl in the world to have someone like you." is that so common for people to say? I see or hear it all the time with people. Another point my friend said was maybe its just to them they think that, and it doesn't matter what others think about it. But i dunno, it seems kind of annoying, everytime i hear someone say it espically if they are one of those 2 week love type people


I totally get your point on that one! (woot!)
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Re: Falling out of love

Post by Trivialnight » Thu Dec 19, 2002 7:35 pm

Its weird that i come up with these things. I usually do when i am sitting up at 3am in my dorm room on a caffiene high. I have written at least 30 pages front and back handwritten on stuff like depression, suicide, love, loneliness, the SS effect (if you really want to know this one it is kind of weird but most people understand it when i explain it to them, its stands for the Sex and Security effect. Its about when 2 people break up that they will eventually get back together in a period of time), bunch of other shit. anyways, finally people that understand that stuff, its a relief
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Re: Falling out of love

Post by Barbies are Evil » Thu Dec 19, 2002 7:40 pm

Originally posted by Trivialnight@Dec 19 2002, 11:35 PM

Its weird that i come up with these things. I usually do when i am sitting up at 3am in my dorm room on a caffiene high. I have written at least 30 pages front and back handwritten on stuff like depression, suicide, love, loneliness, the SS effect (if you really want to know this one it is kind of weird but most people understand it when i explain it to them, its stands for the Sex and Security effect. Its about when 2 people break up that they will eventually get back together in a period of time), bunch of other shit. anyways, finally people that understand that stuff, its a relief


Yeah, people who understand always help.
TJ[10:13 PM]: no not really..... it's all so.... like wow..... screw steps, you took a fuckin jet pack and strapped it on yourself and rocketed your way forward (thats my big bro)







And I'm going to extremes



Tomorrow I will change



And today won't mean a thing



I'm a bitch, I'm a tease



I'm a goddess on my knees



When you hurt, when you suffer



I'm your angel undercover



I've been numb, I'm revived



Can't say I'm not alive



You know I wouldn't want it any other way



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Re: Falling out of love

Post by Trivialnight » Thu Dec 19, 2002 9:22 pm

Well everytime someone talks to me about their relationship or something about a girl or whatever. Now they will tell me what happens or happening, and then i would tell them my opinion, and i have had some people get really pissed at me, and tell me How would you know you never had a girlfriend, so dont tell me what i should do. blah blah blah. I always just laugh because they had come and asked me for help, but they dont get what they are expecting.
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Re: Falling out of love

Post by Barbies are Evil » Thu Dec 19, 2002 10:23 pm

Originally posted by Trivialnight@Dec 20 2002, 01:22 AM

Well everytime someone talks to me about their relationship or something about a girl or whatever. Now they will tell me what happens or happening, and then i would tell them my opinion, and i have had some people get really pissed at me, and tell me How would you know you never had a girlfriend, so dont tell me what i should do. blah blah blah. I always just laugh because they had come and asked me for help, but they dont get what they are expecting.


Yeah, don't listen to that, people just don't want to hear the truth.
TJ[10:13 PM]: no not really..... it's all so.... like wow..... screw steps, you took a fuckin jet pack and strapped it on yourself and rocketed your way forward (thats my big bro)







And I'm going to extremes



Tomorrow I will change



And today won't mean a thing



I'm a bitch, I'm a tease



I'm a goddess on my knees



When you hurt, when you suffer



I'm your angel undercover



I've been numb, I'm revived



Can't say I'm not alive



You know I wouldn't want it any other way



Meredith Brooks-Bitch

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Re: Falling out of love

Post by Trivialnight » Fri Dec 20, 2002 12:40 pm

Also maybe someone could answer this, but I can never see myself with a "girlfriend". From what i see between the people i know, i dont see how i would be close to someone, or to tell someone that i would die without them or what not, or that i miss them so much blah blah. I dunno maybe it is just antisocial issues or other things.



-chris
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Re: Falling out of love

Post by raine » Fri Dec 20, 2002 1:29 pm

I've given up all hope for a movie type love, it all comes down to the first feeling of infatuation, which quickly fades away. Being in love is being around that one person who you can stand the most.
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Re: Falling out of love

Post by CuteLilChk » Fri Dec 20, 2002 1:29 pm

you know when you are in love. its not just butterflies and blushing and "oh my god, he's so hott!" i cant exactly explain it. when you fall in love, its unconditional. you never fall out of love. you may accept the fact that you are broken up or something, but you dont lose the feelings. you know.



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Re: Falling out of love

Post by Trivialnight » Fri Dec 20, 2002 3:03 pm

CuteLilChk, Nah i dont know, im not gonna try to be mean when i say this or whatever, i dont mean to be mean, i just try to understand everything, call it a curse for me or call me a genius for wanting to understand everything. Now im not saying this because i am a bastard, or dont call me a asshole, or anything like that, but your saying no matter what the other person does you will love them no matter? Situation lets say you are in love with someone that you want to only be them. This is the love you are talking about one that is not the "He's hot!" love, You come home one day and he had killed your mother father brother sister dog grandma burned down your house, went on a rampage at your friends. A little far fetched situation but its to try to understand. Under the unconditional love you will still love him, even though he basically took away your life, everything in your life, you only have him, so he says. So would you still have feelings for him?



Now i dunno if you can consider there is another love besides the butterflies, blushing, and the hotness. Look at how many people there are in the world that get a divorice and what not, or cheat on their gf/wives/husbands/bf, whatever. Now i dont know if i will ever understand it, its something that i think about among other things.



Lets look at a situation how it would be if someone say I was truely in love with for 3 years, she says she wants to be with me for the rest of her life what not. 2 weeks later she is with another guy, me i would just forget her, you turn ur back walk away, dont look back. Easy no? That wouldn't be considered under your category of love, even for those 3 years i knew truely to the heart that i was in love with the girl. So for 3 years, i thought i knew about the love, it was there, but it wasn't, which brings me to the point that you can never be sure if there is really that type of love, because in the future it can go up in smoke. Get what i mean? Sorry if i am ass



-chris



-chris
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Re: Falling out of love

Post by She » Fri Dec 20, 2002 4:44 pm

I'm going to have to disagree with Cute. What happens when you're in love with someone and they become majorly attached to you to the point where it's almost stalkerish? Then you realize that that person has changed, or see something else of them you didn't before because you were in love. Yes, I was in love. Now this guy just creeps me out, I don't want to have anything to do with him.



Trivial, the thing with love is this: part of feeling "in love" is feeling like you love someone unconditionally and that you'll want to be with them forever. But you have to have some common sense in the matter, even when you feel like that, and realize that that's not true because someday you might, and probably will, love someone else. At least with our level of experience at our age, y'know? There is no supernatural bonding of souls, it's an emotion, and emotions can change and fade. You just have to accept that and enjoy it while it lasts. When you find someone you feel strongly about, then yes, maybe you will want to stay with them forever and maybe you will do it. But not everyone will find someone like that, and at our young age it's too early to say whether it's true or not. Most of us are still growing and changing, and that means emotions and feelings will shift. When you get older, and you're sure of what you yourself are, and your wanderlust has settled down a little, maybe then you can know for sure. Until then just enjoy what you have and don't worry about forevers and unconditional-loves.

And trust me, you can have a signifigant other and very much love them without "forever" ever being part of your vocabulary. It never was for me, and I don't plan for it to be. Even wedding vows don't say forever, just until death.



These are all just my opinions, of course. But maybe they'll make some amount of sense.. to someone.. :P
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Re: Falling out of love

Post by She » Sun Dec 22, 2002 12:52 am

Putting someone's happiness before your own doesn't mean becoming some miserable smitten shell of a human being that would forgive their "true love" for slaughtering their family.
"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace."

--Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

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Re: Falling out of love

Post by Dave875d » Sat Dec 28, 2002 2:56 am

LOL we come up with some funny thing here on teenhelp. It is 12:51 am for me and this is so f*cking funny. ROTFLMFAO
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Re: Falling out of love

Post by Trivialnight » Sat Dec 28, 2002 3:27 am

Hahaha Ohhh Fucking funny eh, Well your signature points out exactly what im saying, you stupid ass.



I love my Nadia. She is my gift from God.



You put that, but yet in say 2-3 years The signature is the say except the name is changed. So that means your laughing at yourself you stupid fucking idiot



Sorry for the mean stuff



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Re: Falling out of love

Post by She » Sat Dec 28, 2002 1:46 pm

But see, Trivial, he never said he'd love Nadia forever, or for another two or three years, or even for another month. He's just saying he loves her now and right now he feels she's God's gift to him. In another two or three years maybe Nadia won't be the one he loves and maybe someone else will come along that he also feels is a gift from God. Nobody ever said you only get one.
"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace."

--Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

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Re: Falling out of love

Post by PurplePoemPuppet » Sun Dec 29, 2002 6:41 pm

Originally posted by Trivialnight@Dec 27 2002, 11:27 PM

Sorry for the mean stuff



-chris


Now that I find quite interesting. It's like your trying to excuse all the mean stuff just so you won't be on anyone's bad side... whether or not you care, I don't know, but that's what I get out of that. Oh well, I'm finding this entire conversation quite interesting. There's a lot of different opinions going out on love. Especially since every person here has a different situation and therefore, different perspectives. Hmm... quite interesting.
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