So Lost...

This forum is for Lesbians, Gays, Bi-sexuals, Transgenders or members that are questioning their sexual orientation or gender identity. This forum is a safe haven and is open to all members, straight or otherwise, who are curious about sexuality.

Moderator: Sex & Relationships Moderators

Post Reply
User avatar
Mrs_Scabtree
Loyal
Posts: 121
Joined: Fri Feb 07, 2003 12:57 am
Contact:

So Lost...

Post by Mrs_Scabtree » Wed Feb 12, 2003 4:34 am

For the last few days I have seriously been questioning my sexuality again... I'm not entirely sure that I can say that I am a lesbian, because I still have some attraction to guys... :unsure: It's like I feel preasured to make a decision now to be a lesbian, when I'm not really sure that I am a lesbian. Goddess! I am soooo confused right now! :wacko: I just wish people would lay off and quit assuming one thing when I myself am not even sure how I feel! It's like the last few months the people who do know about me having an attraction to girls automatically assumed that I was a lesbian and so it made me think that maybe I was and I was just in denial... But now I'm even more lost because you know if you're a lesbian you're not supposed to have an attraction to guys, and there are a couple (not many at all!) guys that I like.

And now I feel like I am lying to myself and the people who do know, just because people assumed or just flat out said "oh no you're a lesbian if you like girls. There is no inbetween." And the people that say this have NO CLUE how that makes me feel! Ugh! It makes me feel so sick! I can't even try to figure out my own sexuality cause I am too confused too!

I don't even feel comfortable with myself now! I feel like this outsider, I don't fit in with people who are gay cause I might not be completely gay and I don't fit in with straight people because I am not straight and I fear that it will get to the wrong person and I will get pushed too far and snap and end up hurting myself because people won't back off and just let me decide! :'( I feel sooo alone right now... I wish I just had someone that I could talk to and not have to worry about whether or not they are going to tell me that I have to pick one or the other...



Sorry if I am complaining too much, I just needed to let that out, and to see if maybe someone else felt the same way.... :unsure:
<span style=\'color:purple\'ur an exception 2 the rule. ur a bonafide rarity. ur all I ever wanted. So come outside & walk w/me we'll try each other on, see if we fit. & with our roots become a tree 2 shade what we make under it.

Image

Strawberry Gashes

User avatar
Dino
Loyal
Posts: 411
Joined: Tue Dec 17, 2002 6:11 am
Contact:

Re: So Lost...

Post by Dino » Wed Feb 12, 2003 10:25 am

I dont feel the same way though I read from many articles that there are many ppl who feel the same way as you do.



Dont feel pressured to lebal yourself. Lebals are really not important at all. Maybe "placing" yourself as bi in your mind right now might make you feel better. Dont trouble urself with what other ppl say. Its only you that have control over yourself.
"Nothing happened to a man that he is not formed by nature to bear"

User avatar
Theebee
Loyal
Posts: 98
Joined: Mon Dec 16, 2002 6:28 pm
Contact:

Re: So Lost...

Post by Theebee » Wed Feb 12, 2003 4:57 pm

about a year ago i was going through the same thing as you are, but nobody knew at the time that i was attracted to girls. i just gave myself some time and eventually i figured it out and decided that i was a lesbian after all. just try not to talk about your "orientation" to people who try to shove you into a category and give yourself some space to think.



also, in my psychology class we did a short unit on sexual orientation and there is a theory that no one is entirely gay or straight - everyone is attracated to both genders, just usually one more than the other, but in varying degrees (even bi people, but their degrees dont "vary" quite so much). so, if you are mainly attracted to girls, go ahead and call yourself a lesbian if you want to, or call yourself bi --> just don't let other people tell you who you are, only you can decide that.
The Laws of God, the laws of man,

He may keep that will and can;

Not I: let God and man decree

Laws for themselves and not for me;

And if my ways are not as theirs

Let them mind their own affairs.

Their deeds I judge and much condemn

Yet when did I make laws for them?

Please yourselves, say I, and they

Need only look the other way.

But no, they will not; they must still

Wrest their neighbour to their will.



- A.E. Housman

User avatar
frost
Loyal
Posts: 59
Joined: Sun Dec 22, 2002 4:58 pm
Contact:

Re: So Lost...

Post by frost » Wed Feb 12, 2003 6:33 pm

i don't think labelling is that big of an issue

give urself time ^^;

it's alrite if u dunno which category u fit into yet

well some ppl use the term "qu**r" to classify themselves

cuz they're not sure or confused about their sexuality

personally i don't like that term...

but if u really want to categorize urself maybe ur in that group..
Trying to find my way out..

but the rain keeps getting in the way..

User avatar
girlyluvR4life
Loyal
Posts: 832
Joined: Mon Dec 30, 2002 4:38 pm
Contact:

Re: So Lost...

Post by girlyluvR4life » Fri Feb 14, 2003 12:20 am

I'm not entirely sure that I can say that I am a lesbian, because I still have some attraction to guys...




oh mrs. scabtree, how alike we are in our sexuality.

well this is my point of view on your 'problem'

i myself KNOW now that with out a doubt i am a lesbian. i still try to deny it, but i just cant keep denying how i was born. i should love me for who i am, and altho i DONT wanna be a lesbian, i AM ONE SO I MUST LIVE WITH IT.

i constantly wonder, 'why, WHY coudl I have not been born a straight girl like everyone else, why must i be different and suffer the hardships which my sexuality brings along'

and then i answer myself with ' i am this way because its how i was made, and no matter what i do to 'change' it, its not going to occur.'





about lesbians liking boys. i see you are having a HARD TIME stuggling witth this as well as myself. altho i feel in my heart and just flat out KNOW i am a lesbian, like you, i find myself attracted to a guy every now and then. But i finally came to a reasonable conclusion as to why i like the occasional guy.

1.when i think about having a sexual relationship with the guy, i think 'HELL NO, THAT IS DISGUSTING'---> i personally, hate dicks and just the mere sight makes me sick.

2.i think, well do i find him physically attractive? and i usual can 'decypher' if a boy is hot or not, but when i compare his body(and no, i cant stand lookin at guys bodies either, they are shaped so funny) to a girls, i thnk 'how could anything be more beautiful than a girls body'.

3. the main reason i think this occurs is that, being human it is NATURAL for us to LOVE CERTAIN QUALITIES IN PEOPLE THAT WE HAVE AN ATTRACTION/CONNECTION TO. this does not have to be a physical attraction, but an emotional one. i finally understand that when i have 'feelings' for a guy, i am just really having 'feelings' for the characterisitcs in him that i like. so i gues what im tryin to say is, i can love a guys characteristics and find THOSE attractive, but i could never actually find the GUY attractive.



I don't even feel comfortable with myself now! I feel like this outsider, I don't fit in with people who are gay cause I might not be completely gay and I don't fit in with straight people because I am not straight and I fear that it will get to the wrong person and I will get pushed too far and snap and end up hurting myself because people won't back off and just let me decide


well as for this quote, dont worry about labeling yourself and dont try to hang with ppl because of your sexual identity. hang with ppl who are fun and who like YOU FOR YOU. not for your 'sexual orientation' true, you NEED to have some variety in the sexualities of your friends, but dont BASE YOUR FRIENDSHIPS around it.



i fear this is gettin far to long and i doubt ppl will read the entire thing, but i rele hope this has helped you at least a little and ill be keepinup with the posts here. if you ned to talk PM or IM me. im on constantly. until then, peace
I'm a gardener of TWO KINDS baby ;)



someone PLEASE knock a hole n my head, i can't wait to kiss this "life" goodbye.

User avatar
Mrs_Scabtree
Loyal
Posts: 121
Joined: Fri Feb 07, 2003 12:57 am
Contact:

Re: So Lost...

Post by Mrs_Scabtree » Fri Feb 14, 2003 1:08 am

Wow... That is exactly how I feel... That made loads of sense by the way! And lol I took the time to read all of it! Thank you sooo much for the all the advice and help! :D
<span style=\'color:purple\'ur an exception 2 the rule. ur a bonafide rarity. ur all I ever wanted. So come outside & walk w/me we'll try each other on, see if we fit. & with our roots become a tree 2 shade what we make under it.

Image

Strawberry Gashes

User avatar
girlyluvR4life
Loyal
Posts: 832
Joined: Mon Dec 30, 2002 4:38 pm
Contact:

Re: So Lost...

Post by girlyluvR4life » Fri Feb 14, 2003 1:20 am

your very welcome, if you need anything else, you know how to get in touch i suppose. im glad to know that i am not te only one going through the horror of 'AAAAAHHHH WHO AM I!!!!!!?' haha
I'm a gardener of TWO KINDS baby ;)



someone PLEASE knock a hole n my head, i can't wait to kiss this "life" goodbye.

User avatar
Mrs_Scabtree
Loyal
Posts: 121
Joined: Fri Feb 07, 2003 12:57 am
Contact:

Re: So Lost...

Post by Mrs_Scabtree » Fri Feb 14, 2003 1:39 am

lol yeah it is nice to know that I am not the only confused person out there! ;) :D :P
<span style=\'color:purple\'ur an exception 2 the rule. ur a bonafide rarity. ur all I ever wanted. So come outside & walk w/me we'll try each other on, see if we fit. & with our roots become a tree 2 shade what we make under it.

Image

Strawberry Gashes

Post Reply