Some Humor

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She
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Some Humor

Post by She » Wed Feb 12, 2003 10:08 pm

All right.. note that this isn't meant to disrespect Christianity in any way, I merely found this amusing. It's not really offensive though, so please don't take it too seriously.



"God must have a sense of humor, he had his people wander around a desert for 40 years and settle in the only place without oil."



And one of my favorites, won't make sense unless you're into or know about online gaming:



"Damn this lag! It took me three days just to respawn!" --Jesus



:lol:



Can I make a thread for non-offensive religious humor? Perhaps? Or is that too risky... hmhmhm.
"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace."

--Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

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Re: Some Humor

Post by She » Thu Feb 13, 2003 5:07 pm

Yes, but the mods are all but lenient on such matters, so I figured I'd play it safe. :)
"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace."

--Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

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Jaegermeister
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Re: Some Humor

Post by Jaegermeister » Sun Feb 16, 2003 12:56 pm

I think that everything requires a humorous side. Plus, I just enjoy laughing. I'll look up some NON offensive pagan jokes (I know a few good ones) if anyone wants me to.



TJ
"What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?" --OSB



"Be who you are and be that well" --St Francis de Sales.



Suaviter et fortiter



Bunches of love Xena.

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FiZzBaW
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Re: Some Humor

Post by FiZzBaW » Sun Feb 16, 2003 5:10 pm

Laughter is the best medicine.





If you ever want to make GOD laugh, tell him your plans!!





Wonder how many of you got that one :P



-FiZz :wacko:
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Re: Some Humor

Post by Sk8r_4_LiFe » Sun Feb 16, 2003 5:18 pm

i got that one Fizzbaw that was good n funny - n i like the two jokes about religion here's my personal favorite



"A 5th grade athiest boy in pubic school who is really smart is having trouble in math. He just can't do 5th grade math. So his parents decide to take him out and send him to catholic school despite that they are athiests. So after the first day of catholic school, the boy came home and without saying a word to his parents, ran upstairs to his room and began his homework. This had gone on for about three months and it was time for the report card. His parents were awaiting hoping for an improvement in math. When the boy came home he threw his report card on the table, ran upstairs and started his homework. His parents took the report card looked at Math and saw A+, great Job! So his parents ran upstairs and embraced the boy as he was doin his homework. They asked him, son how did u do so well in math. He said, well ma, da, i wont lie, but when i saw that guy hanging on the plus sign i knew those Catholics meant business!!!"



HAHA :D
Me: So do you like, HIM?

Rosca: No way, they suck. . .

Me: How can you say that, they're love METAL

Rosca: They ain't Metal!

Me: Well they probably get more women than we will ever in our lives combined

Rosca: Yea cause they're gay. . .

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Re: Some Humor

Post by Jaegermeister » Sun Feb 16, 2003 6:19 pm

To spice things up... some pagan humor. I can find more I think.



You know your coven is getting older when...



The ritual feast is pureed.



Last Beltaine the coven decided it would be nice to go out to dinner to celebrate.



The last time you tried to do a spiral dance your oxygen feeds got tangled.



Viagra is kept in the coven supplies.



The maiden of the coven is a grandmother.



The ritual room is outfitted with defibrillators.



The coveners drive their RV's to Scottsdale for Mabon.



When you are at a festival you go to bed at sunset.



It takes the whole coven to move the cauldron.



The high priest still has a vendetta going against Richard Nixon.



You find yourself using your pendulum over the stock pages in the newspaper.



You tell an initiate that in your day you had to slog through five feet of snow uphill both ways when you did a Yule ritual.



You drop your teeth in the ritual cup.



At Samhain you see more of your coveners in the Wild Hunt than you do in circle.



You put your athame in the chalice during ritual but you can't remember why.



You hold an all night blow-out drum frenzy and none of your neighbors noticed.



You use Glenn Miller records for trance music.



All of your ritual robes are tie-dyed



Your coven has a 401(k) retirement plan.



A nitro pill vial replaces the crystal on your pendant.



No one's successfully jumped the Beltaine fire since 1983.



When the coven sings, "Creak and groan, creak and groan . . ."



When you set comfy chairs around the circle.



When you sit on the floor and can't get up again.



You do anointings with Aspercreme.



The oak tree your coven planted died of old age.



You use Bran Muffins and Prune Juice for Cakes & Ale because you need the extra fiber.



You don't use salt to consecrate you altar because you need to stay away from extra sodium.



You use a walker during the Wild Hunt



You prefer to rent a Hall for rituals because the bathrooms are closer.



You need a flashlight to find the candles.



TJ
"What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?" --OSB



"Be who you are and be that well" --St Francis de Sales.



Suaviter et fortiter



Bunches of love Xena.

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